Jack sat on the deck, rocking his old chair slowly back and forth. The lake shimmered in the sunlight and he smiled, remembering.
It had been ten long and lonely years since Daniel had ascended and Jack hadn't seen hide nor hair of the man...being...whatever, since Jack had been tortured by Baal. That had been the last straw for Jack and he'd resigned from the SGC shortly afterwards. He was certain he wouldn't have been able to cope with his ordeal if Daniel hadn't been there. The rest of the team had figured out a way to rescue him in the end and Daniel had said he hadn't helped them. Jack didn't believe him. Jack needed to believe that his love would do what ever he could to release Jack from the pain.
Plenty was said, except what they both needed to say. "I love you. I miss you. I want to be with you." Daniel had offered him a way out of the constant torture. However, Daniel wasn't allowed to break down the walls, he couldn't give Baal a taste of what Baal was giving Jack, no matter how much he'd wanted to. The only thing he could offer Jack was ascension and Jack wasn't brave enough to take that leap. It was his only chance to be with Daniel and he didn't have the cojones to just let go.
It was a decision which had haunted him for the last ten years and the one which in the end, had pushed him out of the fight. That and living with the regret of never telling Daniel how he really felt. Daniel felt the same, Jack could tell. He didn't need to say it, neither of them did, but they should have and that was where the regret lay. Jack had opportunity after opportunity before Daniel had gone, but fear had gripped him every time. He guessed it was the same for Daniel, but the shame was that because neither of them could bring themselves to make the first move, both of them had missed out on the one person in the universe that was right for them.
Jack sighed and got up from his chair, wincing. The years of pain and punishment were taking their toll on his tired old body and some days he felt every one of his fifty seven years. His back and knees were getting worse, he'd started having migraines and he needed to wear glasses for reading now. He chuckled, silently reflecting that he and Daniel would make a good pair these days. Except Daniel didn't need his glasses anymore.
Jack shuffled back into the cabin and went to the kitchen to get himself a beer. He opened the refrigerator and light flooded the kitchen. When he closed the door and turned around, Daniel was sitting at the table.
"Hey, Daniel." Jack replied nonchalantly, and cracked open his beer.
"So...no surprise then? Me being here?"
Jack smiled, "Not really. I have these kinds of daydreams all the time. I guess it's my age, or the fact that I'm on my own so much. I see you a whole lot lately."
"And erm...what do we talk about?"
The older man shrugged, "All kinds of stuff. The state of the economy, the fact that I still haven't caught any fish in the damn lake, whether or not I should buy a dog for some company. Just stuff."
"Then of course there's the times when I'm feeling sappy and depressed. Then I tell you that I've been in love with you for years and never had the courage to tell you, that I miss you so much sometimes it makes me cry, that I wish I'd gone with you when Baal was torturing me. Stuff like that too."
"Hmm. And what do I say?"
Jack took a long pull on his beer. "Well, then you say that you loved me too but you were just as big a coward as I was."
" That's true, I was. Can you remember when you were in that cell and I said I understand things in a way I never could before?"
"I remember every second of it, Daniel," Jack replied grimly.
"That's one of the things I figured out. That we should be together. That you're the only one I need. That this existence means nothing without you."
Daniel rose from the table and took Jack's beer from his hand.
"So, I love you, Jack and I'm not prepared to go on without you. I'm offering you ascension again and I'm begging you to take it. Come with me, Jack. I need you."
"Christ, Daniel. Why didn't you say that then?"
"I told you, ascension doesn't make you all-knowing. I'm saying it now." Daniel leaned forward and kissed him. Jack melted and deepened the kiss, warmth seeping into his bones. Jack wasn't sure how it had happened, but they were in bed, naked. Daniel's hands were caressing him, Daniel's lips kissing and suckling his flesh gently. Jack gave himself up to the sensation, his fingertips tracing patterns on his lover's warm skin. It felt like real skin, but slightly different. It was warm and dry and softer than he'd imagined before. Jack didn't really care though. This was the best dream he'd had so far and he wasn't going to mess with it.
Daniel gently turned Jack over onto his stomach and lay across his lover's back.
"Let me make love to you, Jack. I won't hurt you, I promise."
"I know. I want you, Daniel. I'm sorry I never told you."
Daniel moaned softly, nuzzling into Jack's neck. Jack was confused. The sensations were much more acute than usual, he could actually feel Daniel's weight above him, pressing him into the mattress, he could feel Daniel's hardness between the cheeks of his ass and raised himself up slightly so that Daniel could enter him.
It was always difficult when the dream got to this part, no matter how hard he tried to imagine, he could never quite duplicate the sensation of having someone inside him, except...dear God, this was different. This was completely different. Daniel was inside him. There was no pain, no preparation, Jack just felt the exquisite fullness of having the man he loved deep in his body.
Daniel murmured words of love into Jack's ear as he moved, licking Jack's ear and neck, thrusting deeply and stimulating Jack's prostate as he rocked. Warmth and sweetness flowed through Jack's veins and he felt more at one with the man than he'd ever felt with anyone. It was overwhelmingly complete. They came simultaneously, Daniel sighing his name, Jack with a choked sob.
They lay together for a second and Jack suddenly felt himself floating, he and Daniel connected in a way which blurred the edges of where one ended and the other began.
"Daniel, what is this?"
"This is us, Jack. This is ascension. Let go and come with me."
And he did.
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