Jack marched down the corridor towards his office, his face etched with a deep frown. They had both been in the Infirmary at the same time for their post-mission physicals, but rather than waiting for Jack to finish, Daniel had left as soon as Janet was done. Jack had already looked in the Doctor's office, no sign of him there and none in the Commissary either.
He was beginning to worry about the young man. They'd been lovers for a few months, and as far as Jack was concerned they were both as happy as a couple of pigs in the mud, but very recently he had noticed a subtle shift in Daniel's attitude towards him. No one in SG1 seemed to have noticed, and they bickered just as much as ever, but something was awry and Jack was bound and determined to discover what it was. Daniel was becoming distant, always looking as if he had something on his mind, the familiar frown more evident than usual. He usually did have something on his mind, it was true, but this was different.
Jack rounded the corner and almost ran Daniel over.
"Daniel! There you are."
"Jack. Were you looking for me?"
"Sure I was! Where did ya go? I thought we could head off to the Commissary, see what's the least dangerous on the menu today."
Daniel's face didn't even crack the smallest hint of a smile, nor did he give his usual indulgent roll of the eyes. Nothing. He just looked at his boots and shuffled. "Just walking. I... I needed some time, that's all."
"Mmm. Yes, I'm fine, Jack. Don't worry about it. Just a little tired I guess."
Jack didn't buy it, but the SGC wasn't the place to broach the issue, whatever it was.
"You... you wanna come by tonight? The Avalanche are playing the Rangers."
Daniel knew it wasn't just an invitation to watch a hockey game, or an invitation between lovers to spend some time alone for that matter. If he went to Jack's house, Jack would start probing and then Daniel would end up telling him, since he couldn't keep anything from O'Neill for long, and then...
He decided it would be best to leave it for a while.
"Thanks Jack, but not tonight. I have to make a start on these translations. I'll probably be here all night. SG6 need them by 13:00 tomorrow. Another time. I'll see you later."
With that Daniel walked away and Jack watched him almost shambling up the corridor with his head down, arms wrapped around his books, holding them tightly against him.
O'Neill's frown deepened and he headed back to see Doc Fraiser.
Janet was alone in her office. Things had been quiet for the previous couple of weeks other than routine physicals, and Janet had been taking some time to work on a research paper. She was tapping away at the keyboard industriously as Jack knocked softly on the open door. She looked around and smiled, acknowledging his presence.
"Colonel! What can I do for you?"
Jack entered the office and closed the door behind him, shutting out military protocol and indicating to Janet that it was going to be a private conversation between friends. She frowned slightly when she caught his expression.
"You got a minute, Doc?" he asked.
She motioned him to sit down and her face clouded with concern. She'd known Jack O'Neill for a lot of years and they were good friends as well as colleagues. She probably knew him better than most, since once upon a time they'd had a brief affair. They had been posted together, long before the SGC even existed and before either of them had been married. They had become friends very quickly, both of them having a quirky sense of humour and a quick wit. It had turned physical for a little while, but eventually they realized that they just weren't destined to be lovers and the physical affair ended leaving a deep and abiding friendship which had been rekindled after Janet's posting to the SGC.
Jack O'Neill had never been big on trust and his Special Ops training had taken that particular aspect of his personality and honed it to perfection. He was a solitary man, despite his 'life and soul of the party' persona, with plenty of acquaintances, but very few friends. Janet speculated that he was close to Teal'c and she knew about his relationship with Doctor Jackson, but other than those two, she was probably the best friend Jack had in the world; and he was troubled.
"What's wrong, Jack?"
Jack rubbed his face with both hands and sighed.
"Daniel?" she asked, quietly.
Jack nodded. "Look... I know you can't give me...aw crap! Is there anything wrong with Daniel? You don't have to be specific, just tell me. I need to know."
"No! I mean 'no' there isn't anything wrong with him. Not physically. He's fine. What's this about?"
"He's just been a little weird lately. Kinda cold. Shutting me out. It's nothing obvious, but Jesus Janet, we've been together a while now and he's just different. I thought maybe there was something wrong and he didn't want to tell me."
Janet put her hand on his thigh. "Honestly, Jack, he's fine. If there were anything seriously wrong, I'd have to tell you as his C.O. in any case. Whatever it is, it's emotional and you have to talk to him."
"I've tried, but you know how I am. If things don't change I can see me losing my temper and I don't wanna do that. I love him."
"I know, sweetheart. I wish I knew what else to suggest. As far as I'm aware he isn't having any problems, although knowing Daniel even if he was, he'd keep them to himself. One way or another, you have to get him to open up. I'd hate to see lack of communication break up what you have. You're as bad as each other, aren't you?" she smiled.
"Now that's what you get when two guys get together. Instead of having one closed-off emotional retard in the relationship, you have two," she teased.
"You know me too well. I'll have to have you reassigned," Jack grinned.
"But you'd lose my razor sharp wit, my scintillating conversation, my..."
"Megalomania," Jack retorted.
Janet chuckled. "There aren't many people who can keep up with you, Jack O'Neill. You're just annoyed because you've met your match."
Jack became serious. "He's my match, Janet."
"Yes," she smiled sympathetically. "I guess he is. You have to get him to talk somehow. I have no idea how, but if you don't..."
"Yeah. I know."
"You know where I am if you need me. Day or night."
"No problem. I'll see you later. Take care, honey."
Jack kissed her on the cheek and left, closing her office door softly behind him.
Daniel hadn't liked lying to Jack and wasn't looking forward bumping into him again in the corridor, so he packed the books he would need for the translations, went to the locker room to change and then left the mountain as quickly as he could without causing any raised eyebrows. Truthfully it hadn't been a lie exactly, more an obfuscation. He did have to finish some translations for SG6 in time for them to go back to P6C - 841 the following day, but he'd almost finished them and besides, that wasn't the real reason he'd cried off on the hockey game and the unspoken offer of wine, food and lovemaking.
Jack knew it was a crock too. He was becoming suspicious, Daniel could tell. He was concerned; worried even, but as much as Daniel hated the deception, he didn't think there was any other way.
As soon as he got home, Daniel threw off his clothes and got into the shower, beginning the preparations for something he hadn't done in a very long time. Guilt, fear and anticipation churned around in his stomach and two sides of him fought each other with a passion. One told him he should talk to Jack, tell him about this side of his nature, the other protested that Jack would turn away from him if he found out and that it was better to deal with it the way he always had. The latter side won, at least for now.
He washed meticulously, shaved his pubic hair and then cleaned the inside of his ass with an ear syringe. It was a habit, a routine he followed whenever one of these excursions was necessary. He'd been able to feel it building up over the past couple of weeks but had been unable to confess what he needed to Jack, as much as he loved him. He supposed it was because he was in love with Jack and he didn't dare ask. Besides, it was always so much easier with a stranger.
He switched off the water and towelled off, then cleaned his teeth, gelled his hair and shaved his face. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he padded back into the bedroom and retrieved a plain, white shoebox from right at the back of the top shelf of the closet. He opened it with shaking hands and placed it on the bed.
Inside were a leather cock-ring, a white cotton jockstrap, a leather harness, condoms and a small tube of lubricant, a butt plug and a large black dildo. Daniel shuddered at the thought of Jack finding this box. His desire for rough sex and his love of leather had been something he'd managed to keep from Jack so far. Given his outer personality, no-one would think he was anything other than vanilla, not even Jack. He wondered exactly how bad it would be if Jack did find out. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad; maybe Jack would be prepared to play sometimes too. That thought lifted his spirits just for a second, and then he began to wonder if having hard, rough leather sex with Jack would have the desired effect.
Jack was a caring, considerate lover. Strong and passionate, but romantic at the same time and although Daniel was completely devoted to him, sometimes... just sometimes he needed a man to dominate him sexually, which he didn't think Jack would ever want to do. He needed to be used just for that short time. The deep sense of relief and relaxation - not to mention the feeling of being protected - he always achieved from cruising a leather bar and having the ass fucked off him by one or more, large, brawny bears, was something he'd never been able to find any other way. It worried him sometimes, but he lived in hope that one day he'd be able to explain it all to Jack - but he'd have to explain it to himself first.
He slipped on the cock-ring, settling it just below his balls, then put on the harness. He shivered as he felt the cold leather on his skin, sliding his hands over it and around the metal ring in the centre. He cock began to fill as the excitement started to build. He pulled on it slowly, ghosting the other hand over the leather straps of the harness, then tugging and pinching at his nipple.
He moved towards the closet so that he could see himself in the full-length mirror on the back of the open closet door. The sight made him catch his breath. His cock seemed bigger and more sensitive, and goose bumps appeared on his skin as he watched himself jerk-off. He hadn't intended to do it, but going through the ritual of preparation and wearing the equipment after so long had made him painfully hard. To facilitate a quicker orgasm, he spread a little lube on his fingers and slipped his hand around behind him to tease his asshole. He moaned at the sensation of his wet fingertips easing inside, spreading the pucker and sliding in and out. He reached over to the box again and took out the butt plug, easing it slowly into his body as his other hand jerked and twisted his throbbing dick.
The fullness in his ass felt delightful and Daniel let himself go, stroking and jerking his dick, twisting and pulling his nipples, revelling in the pure selfishness of masturbation and the freedom of concentrating only on his own pleasure.
He moaned and muttered curses under his breath, his eyes partly closed so that he was still able to see. It was almost like watching someone else; this flushed young man in the mirror, harnessed and ringed, pulling hard on his cock and fucking himself with the butt plug as he raced towards climax. He twisted the plug inside him and yelled as the orgasm hit him with considerable force and the come shot out of him to splash against the closet mirror. His body jerked and writhed, shuddering as he squeezed the last drops out of the end of his cock and then wiped his hand on his belly, massaging the scant amount of come on his fingers into the skin.
He opened his eyes fully, breathing hard, his skin a rosy pink and shining with sweat. The sight shocked him and made him think that he would probably never be able to let Jack see this side of him. It saddened him, but he mentally shrugged and put that thought safely in the small box at the back of his mind where he kept all the things he preferred not to think about.
He began to walk back to the bathroom to clean up, and then stopped, remembering how much of a turn-on the smell of sweat and come was. He figured going into the club like this would get him laid a whole lot quicker. He gently removed the butt-plug, even though on occasion he'd been known to go out with it still inserted, and cleaned it carefully with soap and water, drying it thoroughly and putting it back in the box.
The outfit was standard, torn jeans, thick socks with biker boots and his harness with a leather jacket over the top. It wasn't warm enough to go out without it, and besides, he wasn't exactly in the mood to advertise his preferences to his neighbours. The only question was, should he go commando or should he wear the jock strap? Commando was common enough, he went commando on dates with Jack, the jock however; that hadn't been out for as long as... since the last time, and he knew how much some of the leather guys loved them. Not to mention how much he loved them, both on himself and on others. He slipped it on, settling his balls comfortably into the pouch and then straightened the straps around his buttocks. The whole scenario was beginning to feel real at last and Daniel smiled for the first time.
He finished dressing and went to the bathroom for the last small task: putting in his contacts. Daniel looked completely different without his glasses, and although the club he was going to was in Denver, it never hurt to disguise himself as much as possible, plus the fact that it made him feel different too.
Tonight he wasn't Doctor Daniel Jackson PhD, linguist, archaeologist, partner and lover to Colonel Jack O'Neill. If he used his name at all tonight, he would be plain Danny. Bottomslut.
He took out the condoms and lube, even though he knew that the club would have plenty of both, slipped them into his pocket and closed the box, putting it up on the shelf as far back as he could reach.
The forty-five minute drive seemed interminable, but eventually he reached Denver and parked the SUV at the back of the club. He knew he didn't need to worry about driving back. Getting loaded wasn't what he was there for, or most of the other punters either. It was a sex club; and although there was plenty of booze and drugs, Daniel had never felt the need to be drunk or high to get the relief he needed. Even if any of the guys he chose to have sex with were under the influence and unable to think safely, he always did and there was never any possibility of risky sex. As big as some of them were, if anyone tried to fuck him without a condom, they quickly discovered that it was unwise to judge this particular book by its cover. His unassuming demeanour and his desire for submission cloaked a very effective right hook, which he wasn't afraid to use when necessary.
He locked up the car and walked across the parking lot, pausing briefly as he reached the door. He watched a few guys go in attired similarly to himself and wrestled with the guilt at cheating on Jack: except it wasn't cheating. Cheating meant feelings. Cheating meant giving an inner part of yourself to someone other than your partner. Cheating was sharing. This had nothing to do with that. It had nothing to do with Jack or how they felt about each other. This was... scratching an itch, nothing more. It would be a couple of hours of meaningless sex, which would allow him to be a better lover to Jack.
He knew he'd been antsy, twitchy, withdrawn and moody over the previous week or so and he knew that Jack had noticed. How could he not? Jack loved him. Daniel cursed himself for being such a coward and not opening up to him, but the fear of losing Jack altogether when he found out about Daniel's kink was too awful a consequence for him to handle. Daniel knew he was talking himself into it, trying to justify something that wasn't justifiable, but at this point, in his heart of hearts, he really couldn't see another way out. If he denied this part of himself to stay faithful to Jack, it would eventually drive them apart in any case.
He sighed heavily and walked through the door.
Jack toyed with the stack of reports on his desk, unable to concentrate. Daniel had said that he'd planned to stay and work, and although Jack knew how much it pissed Daniel off to be interrupted, Jack couldn't settle and wanted to see his lover. He threw the untouched pile back into his 'in' tray and set off for Daniel's office.
The door was closed, which wasn't unusual; but it was also locked, which was. Obviously Daniel had finished what he was doing and gone home, but... something didn't sit right. It had only been a couple of hours since their conversation and Daniel had definitely given the impression that it would take him a lot longer than that to complete the translations for SG6. Had Daniel blown him off? It certainly looked that way. Jack grunted with annoyance and his hands balled into fists. It was time he found out what the fuck was going on with Daniel, no matter what the outcome. He'd had enough of being jerked around.
The club was smoky, dark and loud, the way clubs always were, and Daniel made his way to the bar, weaving through the crowds. He sat down and ordered a Bud -when the bar tender eventually got to him - then spun around on the bar stool to check out the clientele. Most of them looked like cruisers, (which suited him perfectly) and a good proportion of them were leather bears. His gaze lingered on a couple of them, tall, well-built, in their forties or fifties - perfect 'daddy' material. He tended to shy away from the guys in caps no matter how good-looking they were, basically because the leather chained caps looked ridiculous in his opinion and he was convinced he'd never be able to have sex with one of them and keep a straight face.
The anticipation rolled around in his gut and the expectation of one or more hard fucks by (hopefully) well-hung men was making his dick throb and his balls ache. He decided it was time to make himself available and began to wander slowly around the club's labyrinthine interior. There were rooms - which were already in enthusiastic use - off all of the corridors, along whose walls various couples were also making out. Daniel smiled and adjusted himself as the smells of sweat and sex assailed his nostrils. It wouldn't be too long now, he knew. His stomach was a ball of excitement and were it not for the fact that he needed to pee, he knew his dick would be making a very good impression through the well-worn denim of his jeans.
On his way to the bathroom, a couple of guys goosed his ass. Each time, he glanced over his shoulder and smiled. Neither smile was exactly an invitation, but nonetheless one of them followed him. He was a stocky, hairy, bearded guy, who Daniel guessed was probably in his early forties. He always seemed to go for the older ones. He really enjoyed the sense of security that being with an older guy gave him, especially if they were bigger, or stronger, but size and strength didn't always go together, Jack was living proof of that. He had a wiry strength that belied his lean frame and he had flipped Daniel effortlessly onto his back more than once. That fleeting thought gave him a shred of hope that maybe this would be the last time he'd have to do this.
Daniel stepped up to a urinal, deftly unbuttoned his jeans, took out his dick with one hand, the beer bottle still in the other, and began to pee. The older guy stood in the stall next to him and unashamedly watched while Daniel relieved himself, stroking his dick as he did so. A low, appreciative rumble vibrated through the older man's chest and as one hand jerked and pulled on his dick, the other pinched a hairy nipple.
"That's a pretty cock y'got there, boy," he growled. "You interested in having a real man suck it?"
Daniel shook off the drops and smiled as his cock began to fill, encouraged by squeezing strokes from his hand.
"Oooh yeah. Real pretty."
The older man sank to his knees and engulfed Daniel's cock in one swallow. Daniel moaned as the wet heat of the man's mouth engulfed him, his hips rocking forwards. The bear licked and slurped at Daniel's engorged penis, while pinching Daniel's nipples roughly. Daniel caught hold of the back of the guy's balding head and pulled him hard down onto his cock.
"Mmmm," the older man broke away then, wiping his mouth and moving up to bite Daniel's nipples, grabbing onto the leather straps of Daniel's harness. "Nice tits. Real nice." He sniffed Daniel's skin, licking his flat abdomen and murmured, "You smell of come. You been jerkin' off? Hmm? Rubbin' that cream into your belly? Dirty li'l fucker. Oh fuck! I love that smell."
Daniel set his beer bottle down and then held onto the guy's shoulders, rolling back his head and groaning as the other man bit and licked at his flesh, while at the same time shoving his jeans down towards his ankles. The man's large hands slid around Daniel's slim hips and he moaned approvingly when he felt the straps of the jock. He quickly spun Daniel around, bending him over the urinal and Daniel grabbed onto the water pipes for balance as his ass was presented to the older bear, beautifully framed by the white cotton straps.
"Oooh, y'got a pretty ass too. You like being fucked, boy?"
"Yeah, you think you're up to it?"
"Hmmph. You're gonna get fucked by a man, sonny. You wanna see the size of my dick, pretty boy? Hmm? Y'wanna see what I'm gonna fill that pretty little ass of yours with?" he growled into Daniel's ear while fondling Daniel's dick and balls.
Daniel grunted. This was what he had come for. This was why he was here. To be taken. Used. Fucked into oblivion just for the sake of cock in ass. No foreplay, no responsibility for someone else's pleasure. No responsibility for anything.
He hissed and shoved his ass backwards as the man touched his asshole with his spit slicked middle finger, turning and easing it inside the tight ring as his other hand continued to pull and stroke on Daniel's cock.
"Mmm, tight. Tight li'l asshole you got there. Ooh you're gonna be nice an' tight, aren't ya? Turn around and get on your knees boy, you're gonna suck me 'til I'm good and hard."
Daniel immediately turned around and dropped to his knees on the tiled floor, unfastening the guy's jeans and yanking them down. His hand pulled his own aching cock and balls out of the jockstrap and he began to stroke his cock rapidly, diving onto the older man's cock and deep-throating him. The man groaned, tangling his fingers into Daniel's spiky hair and pulling him closer. The older man had a long, thick cock and it took all of Daniel's control not to gag. His head moved up and down on the other man's cock while he jerked his own, twisting his hand around the head, squeezing and rubbing his thumb over the end. He continued to suck and lick, teasing the other man's cock to its full length and hardness, and slurping his hairy balls. Suddenly, the man pulled his cock out of Daniel's mouth and rubbed the wet end over his cheek.
"You got lube and a rubber?"
Daniel nodded. He stood up and pulled a condom and a tube of lube out of his jeans pocket, then handed them to the other man.
"Play with your ass, boy," the man demanded. " I wanna see you open up."
Daniel slid his first two fingers into his mouth and sucked on them, closing his eyes. When they were thoroughly wet, he turned and bent forward again, holding onto a pipe with one hand and sliding the fingers of the other around his asshole.
He looked towards the door and saw three men watching them, jerking their dicks slowly as they enjoyed the proceedings. Daniel shivered, as turned on by having an audience as by the stimulation of his fingers, which were stroking his tight pucker. The older man grunted and knelt down, roughly pushing Daniel's hand away and replacing it with his tongue.
Daniel shoved his ass into the older man's face as the guy's tongue licked and laved around his hole. He gave Daniel's buttocks a few tenderising slaps, turning the skin a light pink and making Daniel grunt and writhe. The man bit and licked the rounded globes, occasionally slapping him and jerking his cock. He pulled Daniel's long, slender dick backwards through his legs and licked the mushroomed head, then went back to his asshole, sliding his tongue further and further inside the loosening sphincter.
Daniel was in his element. He loved to be rimmed, and he especially loved Jack to rim him, which was something Jack appeared to really enjoy. All of a sudden it wasn't a stranger's tongue up his ass, it was Jack's and Daniel began to fantasise that Jack was the leather bear behind him, harnessed, ringed and hairy. It gave new impetus to the act and he shoved back again, urging the guy to fuck him.
He kept his eyes tightly closed as the big guy put the end of his covered cock against Daniel's asshole. He was sick of waiting and pushed backwards, encouraging the man to sink deep inside him. He looked to the side again, briefly, where the spectators were jerking each other off as they watched.
He began to pull on his dick as the guy began to fuck him, slow and deep. He was big: bigger than Daniel had taken before and as excited as he was, his ass was stinging a little from being stretched so far. He loved the feeling of being thoroughly filled and was thrilled by the fact that he didn't know this man, would never know this man and would never see him again after tonight; but images of Jack popped unbidden into his mind more and more often. As the guy began to speed up his thrusts, grunting and slapping Daniel's ass cheeks, Daniel gave himself up to the fantasy and imagined that it was Jack's cock inside him, Jack giving him the rough sex he needed, Jack using him, hanging onto the straps of his harness as he drove his cock deep, dominating him, taking care of him, needing him...
Daniel's orgasm roared upon him and his come spurted out onto the white porcelain of the urinal. The clenching of his ass muscles drove the big guy to his own orgasm and he bellowed, gripping Daniel's hips tightly and almost shoving Daniel's head into the wall as he came. Daniel rode out the aftershocks whispering Jack's name as he fought to get his breath back and gently squeezed the last drops out of his twitching dick.
Sounds of orgasm filled the bathroom as the spectators got theirs too and the big guy eased his cock out of Daniel's body. As he tidied himself up, Daniel stood and pulled up his jeans.
The big guy smiled approvingly and grabbed him for a kiss, shoving his tongue roughly into Daniel's mouth; something Daniel didn't appreciate.
"Man, you're a good fuck, son. Thanks. Hope you come back this way again, sometime. Soon," he grinned and walked away.
Daniel stood alone in the bathroom and walked over to one of the sinks. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and almost didn't recognise himself. His hair was awry, his face was flushed and his lips were swollen. He suddenly felt the wave of self-loathing that sometimes followed these encounters and ran the hot tap so that he could splash his face.
He had intended to stay at the club most of the night, taking what he could get where he could get it, but tonight was very different to the other times he'd been to sex clubs. The rough sex had been great, being watched had been even better, but now Daniel was left with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. As good as it had been, it was the thought of Jack that had made him come in the end: not the roughness, the size of the guy's dick or the anonymity. He decided to go home, get cleaned up and a good night's sleep, then try to find a time when he and Jack could get together and talk about it. The last thing Daniel wanted to do was hurt him, but if he carried on like this, eventually he would.
Jack knocked repeatedly on the door of the loft, calling Daniel's name quietly to not disturb the neighbours. If he was in there he was either sleeping, or ignoring him. Or something was wrong. He took out Daniel's spare key, berating himself at the same time for entering Daniel's apartment uninvited.
The loft was quiet, and dark save for a table lamp. Jack paced around, searching every room for some sign of his lover. Anger began to build inside him, tinged with jealousy as he realised that Daniel had obviously gone out. He couldn't remember Daniel's car not being in the parking garage and berated himself again for not looking more closely when he parked up himself.
Jack had decided they were going to have it out, one way or another and took a beer from the refrigerator and sat down. He flicked through the channels on Daniel's TV until he found something vaguely worth watching. The Home and Garden Channel was re-running some old episodes of Hometime and Jack settled back to watch, wondering if he could get some new ideas for the cabin and trying to take his mind off where Daniel might be, what he might be doing and with whom.
Daniel walked wearily up to the door of the apartment building, eager to get into the shower and attempt to wash away his shame. He knew it was a vain hope, but if he could at least get rid of the smell, he'd be a great deal happier. He needed his bed too; maybe a night's - well, half a night's - sleep would make things look better when he awoke in the morning. He doubted that as well, and sighed.
The elevator wasn't working - again - and he cursed as he began walking up the stairs to his loft. The elevator's unreliability was becoming a royal pain in the ass. That thought centred him on the real pain in his ass, which brought him back to his recent activities and he cursed again in annoyance and embarrassment. Pondering on his evening's entertainment as he trudged up the eight flights made him feel even more of a shit-heel than he already did and by the time he reached his floor he was dejected and despondent.
He eventually arrived at his door and turned the key. The sight that greeted him sent him into a panic. Jack: Lying on his couch, fast asleep and snoring. His guilt at cheating on Jack and fear of discovery quickly turned into annoyance. Jack had always been overprotective, in Daniel's opinion, but what the hell had his lover been thinking? Coming to his loft, checking up on him, using his spare key to just barge in when he had to know that Daniel wasn't there: The fucking nerve of the man. He dropped his keys noisily on the coffee table and folded his arms defiantly as Jack jerked awake, startled.
"What the... where... Daniel! You're back! What the..."
"Jack, what're you doing here?"
"I was worried about you and... what the fuck are you wearing? Where the hell have you been?"
Daniel's lips tightened into a thin line and his voice was quiet.
"Where I've been is none of your business. You had no right to just barge in here. What the hell do you think I am? A child to be checked up on?"
Jack became more awake and Daniel's attitude was beginning to piss him off.
"I was worried about you. You lied to me. You told me you were workin' at the mountain, but you weren't there, so I came over to see if something was wrong and you weren't here either."
"So, you figured you'd just come on in and make yourself at home whether I was here or not?"
"Jesus, Daniel. I didn't think you'd mind!"
"I do. Please leave."
"Leave? You've got some explaining to do, Dannyboy."
"I'm not your fucking boy!" he snapped, briefly thinking that he'd like to be. God knew, Jack was behaving like a parent.
Jack walked around the coffee table to stand closer to him and sniffed, a sickening mixture of aromas clung to Daniel's clothes and hair. The acrid smell of smoke, beer and sex insulted Jack's nostrils, hurting more deeply than a knife into his gut as the full realisation of what Daniel had been up to hit home.
"God! What the hell do you smell like? You been to a club? And what's with the... the..." he waved his hand towards Daniel's torso.
"It's called a 'harness'."
"I know what it is, Daniel. I just don't understand why you're wearing one. Where in the fuck have you been?"
"Is that anything to do with you? We're not joined at the fucking hip, even though it seems that way sometimes." He was no longer in the mood to just cave in and fall to his knees begging Jack for forgiveness and decided the best form of defence in this instance was attack.
"A sex club. GODAMMIT!! You've been to a fucking SEX club!"
"Apt choice of adjective, Jack."
"Don't get smart with me, Daniel."
"I have difficulty being any other way."
Jack couldn't cope with Daniel's cold sarcasm and threw his hands in the air, yelling.
"I thought we were together! You stand there and expect me to apologise for getting worried about you, when all the time you were out there screwing some other guy? Or was it more than one? You're not the only one who's been to clubs here. Do I even fucking know you?"
Daniel remained silent and Jack lowered his voice, the pain and the anger plain for his lover to hear.
"I guess I don't."
Jack stared at Daniel for a moment, in anticipation of an apology that never came. He picked up his jacket, took out the key and symbolically left it lying on the coffee table as he walked out, quietly closing the door on their relationship.
Jack tramped down the stairs and into the parking garage feeling numb. Of all the people he knew in the world, Daniel would be the last person he'd think of as being capable of infidelity and although he knew exactly what Daniel had been doing and knew that emotion didn't enter into the equation, at this point it damned well felt like infidelity. He slammed the door of the truck closed, and suddenly the dam of rage inside him burst. He hit the steering wheel repeatedly with his fists, yelling at the universe at large.
"Sonovabitch! Motherfucker! How can he fucking do this to me?!"
He started the engine and revved it until it screamed, then screeched out of the garage, with his tyres squealing.
Upstairs, Daniel picked up the nearest object to hand, a small figurine of Priapus, ironically apt in the circumstances, he thought, and hurled it against the wall.
"Shit! Piss! FUCK!"
Tears of anger flooded down his cheeks as he ripped off his clothing where he stood. He felt like setting a match to them immediately, but settled for finding a garbage bag and stuffing them in. Only his toys were left in the white box, but he retrieved it from the closet shelf and shoved that into the bag too. He'd screwed up royally and hated himself for it: for hurting so badly the man he was in love with.
He went to the bathroom and ran the shower as hot as he dared, and found the painful sting of it strangely satisfying, as he scrubbed hard to remove all outward evidence of his betrayal. He could hardly believe that he'd been stupid enough to risk - and lose - his relationship with Jack for the sake of a fuck. He doubted that even their friendship could survive given the look in Jack's eyes as he left, but surely it was worth fighting for? He should have told Jack at the beginning, should have been honest with him. Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
He hoped it wasn't too late.
Jack eased the truck up to the kerb outside his house and pulled on the parking brake so roughly, he was surprised it didn't come off in his hand. Slamming the door behind him, he clicked the remote locks on the truck and then opened the door to the house. After switching on the light, he went straight to the drinks cabinet and took out a bottle of bourbon, which he opened and chugged on until the amber liquid dribbled down his chin. He coughed and spluttered as the burn spread through his throat and chest, and decided that if he wasn't going to choke to death he'd better get a glass. He took one out of the kitchen cupboard, took it and the whisky up to the deck and proceeded to get completely out of his mind drunk under the stars. Maybe the alcohol would numb the pain a little, that's what the guys he knew who were alcoholics said.
He looked up and remembered what a useless sap he'd been, looking through the telescope towards Abydos, wondering what Daniel had been doing and how he was; he wasn't being fucked by some guy in leather, that was for sure, but it was less the betrayal that bothered Jack, as the fact that Daniel didn't trust him. That he couldn't tell him what he wanted.
The truth was that Jack had guessed Daniel was probably a sub even before they got together. Jack figured that he could go both ways, but being a sub was more likely to be his favourite. It wasn't his quiet public persona that gave him away, more the barely contained power Jack knew was inside him. His capacity for hate and revenge, his emotional strength and the way that life had forced him to deal with so much. From an early age, Daniel had been responsible for himself. Sure, he'd been with foster parents, but by all accounts the care they gave him had been a hit and miss affair. He'd been orphaned, shoved from pillar to post, abused by siblings, humiliated in front of the entire archaeological community, married, widowed, all in the space of twenty five years. That was more than a lifetime's worth of pain by anyone's reckoning. When you've had the universe throw that much at you, sometimes it's nice to just have that responsibility taken away for a while. Jack could understand better than Daniel knew. Obviously. Otherwise he would have talked to Jack about it by now.
As pissed as he was at Daniel, part of him could see why Daniel would try to keep it a secret. That didn't really take the sting away though and he filled his glass again, welcoming the slightly fuzzy feeling the bourbon was beginning to give him.
Daniel finally finished his shower, his skin red raw from scrubbing. It didn't take away the stench of his betrayal, or the guilt for that matter. However, he slowly began to feel that if he didn't work towards a solution to the problem, not only would it make being with SG1 intolerable, it would sink him into a mire of self-pity, and that wasn't his style. He dried off and tried to find the outfit that was as far removed from his earlier clothing as possible: corduroy pants and a plaid shirt.
By the time Daniel arrived at his house, Jack had almost finished the bottle of Jim Beam and was just on his way back to the cabinet to see if he had any more when Daniel knocked on the door. Jack knew who it was, but opened the door anyway.
"Well," he slurred. "If it ain't 'Love Cheat O' The Week'. You got our spot booked on Jerry Springer yet, Danny? And don't start gettin' all pissed off at me for callin' you 'Danny'. It's your fuckin' name isn't it?"
Jack began to applaud, slowly. "Ten outta ten for observation, Doctor Jackson. What? You learned that at the leather bar didja? How to tell when someone's loaded enough to want to suck your dick?"
"I asked for that."
"Yeah, you fuckin' did and more besides. Make yourself useful as long as you're here and get me another bottle." He began to walk unsteadily back up the stairs to the deck.
"You don't have to do this."
Jack turned around and shouted. "You're wrong, Daniel! I DO have to do this. It's either that or take your fuckin' head off and if I do that, Hammond will have me court-martialled. We all know that given the choice he'd take you over me any day."
"That's crap, Jack and you know it. You're just feeling sorry for yourself."
"Oh, I am, am I? Well, excuse the FUCK outta me, Daniel. Y'see, my partner, this guy, who I LOVE by the way, has just been out to a gay bar and gotten himself FUCKED by whoever the HELL knows, and plus the fact that he LIED to me about being a fucking sub when if he'd just fucking TOLD me I coulda given him what he needed in the FIRST fucking place and we wouldn't have to be going through all this SHIT!"
Jack sank down onto the stair and took a breath. "Get me the other bottle."
"No. You've had enough."
"I've had.... Who the FUCK are you to tell me when I've had enough?"
"I love you, Jack and I'm sorry."
Jack stood up again and began to laugh, mirthlessly. "LOVE? You LOVE me? Do you have ANY idea of what that fucking word means, Daniel? Any idea AT ALL?"
"I think so... what did you say about giving me what I needed?" Daniel asked, suddenly realising what Jack had said.
"I said, I could give you what you need, Daniel. I figured you were a sub from the start and would you like to know how I know? Because I'm a fucking Dom, that's how. That's not strickly true. As it happens I'm actually a switch, but that's not the point. If you'd just told me, if you'd just trusted me. Y'know, Daniel, that's what hurts the most about this fucking mess. Not that you had some other guy's dick in your ass, although that hurts like a motherfucker, I haveta tell ya, but the thing that gets me; the thing that really PISSES me off, is that you didn't trust me. You say you love me and I guess you believe it, but, see, I'm an old-fashioned kinda guy - guess it comes with bein' old - but I always thought that when you love somebody, you trust them. You tell it like it is; no bullshit, no lies, no deceit."
"I'm sorry. How many times do I have to say it?"
"A fuckin' helluva lot more times than you have so far. Get on your knees."
"I SAID ON YOUR FUCKING KNEES! And don't you dare look at me until I want you to. You want to be a sub, Doctor Jackson? I'll show you what it's like to be MY sub. You are way out of your league here."
The adrenaline in his system was sobering Jack up rapidly.
"You've only played at this, I can tell, but when I'm done with you, you'll know what it's all about, Danny. You'll really know. Do you understand?"
Daniel didn't speak and he was still standing, completely stunned.
Jack stepped off the stair and pushed him down to the floor. Daniel's head dropped as he winced and Jack grabbed him by the hair, pulling it backwards so that Daniel was looking at him.
"I said, 'Do. You. Understand?' Answer me."
Daniel's voice was croaky and barely audible. "Yes, Jack."
"I don't think you do, but you will. Playtime is over. If you want this, by Christ I'll give it to you, but you have to behave. You have to earn my trust again. NOBODY fucks with me, Daniel. NOBODY."
"Yes, Jack." Exhilaration coursed around Daniel's veins even as Jack verbally abused him. His cock was hardening and it was all he could do to keep his hands away from it. Daniel knew that if he told Jack to stop this, Jack would...but he didn't want to stop. He knew he'd fucked up and he wanted Jack to punish him. He felt safe.
Daniel meekly rose and followed Jack, who was now virtually sober and extremely aroused. He hadn't had a sub for a very long time and the prospect was making his cock hard and his nuts tingle. He was going to make Daniel pay for his betrayal, his lack of trust and his disobedience. This was make or break. By the end of the night, either they would be closer than they ever had been, or the relationship would be over.
Jack closed the door behind them as Daniel stood in the middle of the room, shaking with excitement and fear. Jack looked the younger man over silently with hungry eyes, pondering his next move.
"What do you want me to do?" Daniel asked, expectantly.
"First of all, I want you to shut up and not speak until you're spoken to. Then I want you to strip. Slowly."
Daniel began to remove his clothes as Jack's eyes continued to devour him. On cue, Jack licked his lips as Daniel unfastened his pants. Daniel almost didn't dare bend to pull them down in case Jack attacked him. He knew... at least he thought he knew, that Jack would never harm him, but a last scrap of fear tugged at his mind even as his dick strained against the cloth of his underwear.
Jack smiled dangerously, and fondled his erection.
"That's good. That's very good. Kick off your pants, get on your knees over here and suck my dick."
Daniel shivered in anticipation and did as he was told. He unfastened Jack's pants and pulled them down, slowly. Jack sat back into the bedroom chair as Daniel slipped the chinos over Jack's bare feet and off, allowing them to pool untidily on the floor beside him. He then tentatively opened the hole in Jack's boxers and stroked Jack's erection gently with the pad of his finger. Jack hissed and grabbed his head.
"I said suck it. If I'd wanted you to stroke it, I woulda said so."
Daniel had no choice but to open his mouth wide and engulf Jack in one go. He instinctively relaxed as Jack surged forward, cramming every last millimetre down Daniel's throat, not stopping until he felt Daniel's nose nuzzling his pubic hair.
"Aah, that's better. Oh yeah. Much better. Suck it, Danny. C'mon and take it all."
Daniel went to the task in hand with all the skill he could muster, bringing Jack almost to the point of orgasm and then stopping. Jack seemed to have much more control tonight than usual and most of the techniques Daniel used which normally would make Jack blow his stack and yell out loud, elicited little more than a moan. Jack fucked Daniel's mouth mercilessly, grabbing his hair and pulling him roughly, swearing and cursing as he pounded against the back of Daniel's throat. Daniel almost gagged once or twice - he also nearly came in his pants, having to tug his balls sharply to stave it off. This was nothing like he'd imagined. This was so much better.
Eventually Jack pulled out, his big cock shining with Daniel's saliva and its own pre-come, which dribbled down the shaft as Jack stroked it.
"Stop. Stay on your knees."
Jack rose from the chair and pulled down his boxers, kicking them off and turning around.
"Lick my ass. Tongue fuck me 'til I tell you to stop."
Daniel licked his lips, his mouth flooding with saliva at the prospect. He adored the sharp, tangy flavour of Jack's ass and having his tongue buried inside it was one of his favourite things. It didn't matter that he loved doing it; the point was he wasn't being given a choice. He parted Jack's buttocks to reveal his puckered anus and an involuntary moan escaped his lips.
"You'd better learn some control, Daniel. When I said no talking, that goes for making any other noise you might feel like making. Get to it."
So Daniel did, with enthusiasm and adoration. He licked and swirled around Jack's rosy hole, and stiffened his tongue, easing it inside which made Jack hiss and push back against the invader. Safe in the knowledge that Jack couldn't see, Daniel occasionally took the opportunity to fondle his own aching balls, knowing - hoping - that he wouldn't be allowed to come until Jack said he could.
Jack pulled and jerked his dick while Daniel tongue fucked him, his head rolling from side to side, eyes half closed and mouth open, murmuring encouragement and chewing on his bottom lip.
"Aaaah shit! Stop!" Jack demanded and Daniel immediately, but reluctantly, withdrew his tongue from Jack's ass, smoothing Jack's cheeks with his hands as he sat back, his dick pointing straight upward, ruddy and leaking.
Jack turned to face him, his face red and sweaty.
Daniel meekly undressed and stepped in under the water stream.
"Wash yourself, Daniel. I want to watch."
Daniel picked up the sponge and squirted a little gel onto it, then sensuously soaped his body. The foam covered him in a film of white bubbles upward from his feet, over his torso and then up to his throat, which he exposed by leaning back his head in an unspoken gesture of submission.
Without his glasses and with the water running he had difficulty focussing on what Jack was doing outside the shower cubicle, but as he turned away from him to wash the soap from his face, he soon found out. Jack stepped into the shower behind him and wrapped his arms around Daniel's waist, pressing his erection into the cleft between Daniel's soapy buttocks.
Jack nuzzled his neck, and then bit it harshly.
"Mine. Never forget that Daniel, and this is how it's goin' down. You're gonna stand there while I do a Princeton on you. Eventually I'll come all over your ass, but in the meantime I might just play with your hole a little bit if I feel like it. And you're gonna do nothing. I don't want your hands to move from that wall and if you so much as think about touching your dick, there'll be trouble. Got it?" he hissed in Daniel's ear.
Daniel nodded sharply and leaned against the tiles.
Jack rested his cheek on Daniel's shoulder as his hips began to rock slowly, sliding his cock between Daniel's ass cheeks. Daniel's cock swelled even more as Jack murmured against his damp skin, sending shivers coursing through his body as Jack's voice reverberated through his back and chest.
"So beautiful, my Daniel; So sweet and so mine. Y'know what? It almost did me in, just the thought of another man taking what's mine. Was he good? Hmm? Did he make you beg? I can make you beg, Danny. I can make you scream. I'll make sure you never even think about having another man in you, touching you. Did he kiss you, Daniel?"
"Sonovabitch! I could fucking kill him. Oooh God, that's good. You feel so good. I love your ass, babe." Jack slid a soapy finger down to Daniel's asshole and circled it, stretching the skin as Daniel squirmed against Jack's teasing finger.
"You like that, don't you? You like me touching you. You want my dick? Hmm? You can speak."
"Yessss," Daniel breathed, allowing himself to be surrounded by Jack's strength. "Fuck me, Jack. Please. I've been good, haven't I?"
"Not good enough," Jack whispered harshly.
He removed his finger, pushed himself away and began to rub himself between Daniel's buttocks again. He was angry and wanted to make Daniel pay for his betrayal. He rocked and thrust, using Daniel's ass to get off and came with a grunt, spraying come up into the small of Daniel's back.
He quickly cleaned off, and then stepped out of the shower leaving Daniel annoyed and frustrated, but uncomplaining.
"Get cleaned up, get dressed and get outta here. I want you back at oh-seven hundred and I don't want you to touch yourself in the meantime. If you do, you'd better believe I'll know and Daniel, you don't want to piss me off any more than you already have."
Jack slipped on his robe and walked out of the bathroom. By the time Daniel entered the kitchen, dry, dressed and with blue balls, Jack was leaning on the refrigerator, chugging on a beer and looking like God's gift. Daniel was speechless.
Jack fixed him with a look Daniel didn't recognise. It scared him a little, mostly because he couldn't work out if it was anger, rage, hurt, affection... it seemed to be all of those things rolled into one. There was an uncomfortable silence until eventually Jack spoke quietly.
"You betrayed my trust. You have to earn it back and I'm going to tell you exactly how to do that. I won't be taken for a fool, Daniel. You should know that by now. You're in the wrong here and you know it, don't you?"
Daniel nodded silently.
"If you don't want to go through with this, tell me now and we can call it quits right here."
"God no! I mean, yes! I mean... I'll do anything you say, Jack. I was wrong. I know I was. I'm sorry." At the instant he said it, Daniel realised that he meant it. He'd do anything to gain Jack's trust again. Whatever it took, whatever Jack had planned, he'd do it.
"It'll take more than sorry. Go on. Out. Oh-seven hundred. Not a minute later."
Daniel nodded and left the house, stunned. He'd had no clue. He should have seen. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel of his car in anger, frustration and shame. If he'd known that Jack was a Dom, all of this could have been avoided, but now it was out, Daniel couldn't stop a shard of excitement from tearing through his body. His balls ached and he was desperate to come, but Jack would know. His expression had brooked no argument.
Jack moved the curtain aside with shaking hands and watched Daniel go. He was hurt and he was angry, but on a certain level he understood why Daniel had done what he did. It was an urge that eventually became impossible to resist. He couldn't really blame Daniel too much, but on a different level Jack hurt like hell. The thought of another man having sex with Daniel was abhorrent. Someone else touching him intimately, kissing him, having Daniel's dick in his mouth. Jack needed to make him pay.
This could potentially be the most significant relationship of Jack's entire life. Or it could be a bust. The next twenty four hours, maybe even less than that, would tell. Jack rubbed his cock through his sweatpants as images of Daniel on his knees flashed through his mind. The idea that Daniel Jackson, a man so strong-willed, arrogant, brilliant and determined would be willing to submit to him turned Jack on more than he could remember. Not only that, but if Daniel was prepared to switch, Jack could bottom again, for the first time in a lot of years. The possibility of it took his breath away and he pushed down his sweats, lay on the couch with his legs splayed apart, and stroked his dick, fantasising.
He awoke, still lying on the couch, to a soft knock at the door and he blearily tried to focus on the mantle-clock. 7 o'clock, on the nail. He rose and ran a hand through his unruly hair, walking slowly up the stairs as he tried to find his 'Top' persona again, since he knew who would be on the other side of that door.
He opened it and there was Daniel with his head bowed, dressed in leather pants and a biker jacket, with nothing underneath it.
Jack grunted and beckoned him in.
"Tell me you didn't jack off."
Daniel shook his head meekly.
"Good." Jack walked back down the stairs and sat in the armchair, opening his legs.
"Take off your jacket and kneel down here."
Daniel took off the leather jacket: his muscles rippled and a shiver ran down Jack's spine. Even now Daniel had no idea how sexy he was, and that turned Jack on even more. Daniel knelt before him, his head still bowed.
"Look at me, Daniel."
Daniel obediently raised his head.
"You will never do that again. Is that understood?"
"Your ass is mine and only mine. Your cock is mine. Your mouth is mine. Your love and your trust, mine. I own you, body and soul. You understand that, don't you?"
"Yes, Jack. Yours and only yours."
Jack smiled. "Stand up and take off your pants. As beautiful as you look in 'em, they're gonna get in the way."
Daniel smiled back at him and quickly removed the skin tight leather, deliberately turning away from Jack as he peeled them off his ass. Jack's breath sucked in despite himself and Daniel allowed himself a small smile of triumph. When he turned to face Jack again, his dick was hard and bobbed in front of Jack's face, willing him to suck it. Which Jack duly did, engulfing it all in one swoop and making Daniel groan.
His knees sagged as Jack fellated him, driving him wild, making him want to beg for his orgasm, and Jack knew it, but he wasn't going to let him, not just yet. He abruptly stopped, causing Daniel to cry out in frustration. He rose, kissed Daniel deeply and whispered in his ear.
"Lean against the chair and give me your ass."
Daniel immediately dropped to his knees, leaning forward to rest his arms on the arms of the chair. He gasped as Jack licked his hole, and then flinched briefly as he felt Jack's cool lubed thumbs teasing and spreading the sphincter open. He wanted to yell, to beg Jack to fuck him, but still stayed quiet save for a low moan, deep in his throat.
Finally, Jack was inside him. Jack's big cock filling him, Jack's body surrounding him, Jack fucking him, taking possession of him. It was everything Daniel had dreamed it might be and tears pricked his eyes at the intensity of the moment.
Jack thrust hard and fast, grunting and talking to him.
"You are so mine. Show me, Daniel," he gasped. "Show me you're mine. Come for me."
"Oh Christ, Jack!" Daniel relaxed his control and gave himself up to the most intense orgasm he'd ever had, feeling Jack shoot his own load deep inside him as his ass clenched rhythmically around Jack's cock and his come spurted out of him onto the chair and the floor.
Gradually they both got their breath back, but Jack was plastered against him, unwilling to let him go. Daniel smiled and leaned back his head to rub against Jack's face.
"Love you, Jack. Yours for good."
"Damn straight, Daniel. I love you. I'm never gonna stop loving you, and you'd better get used to it because I am never gonna let you go," Jack whispered, kissing Daniel's ear and withdrawing from his body.
"Am I forgiven?"
"Yeah, I guess. But we still need to talk. I haven't been completely honest with you either, have I?"
"No. I guess you haven't."
"Go to my bathroom and take a shower. I'll use the guest shower and then I'll put the coffee on."
The pot began to bubble reassuringly and Daniel joined Jack in the den as it brewed. Jack leaned back on the couch, his posture open and receptive as Daniel sat down in the armchair opposite, perched on the edge with his hands between his legs. Jack smiled as he remembered Daniel having this same little-boy-lost look the night he'd come back from Abydos.
"It's okay, Daniel. Just talk to me."
Daniel sighed. "I suppose it really started in college. I found that the boyfriends and girlfriends I had were all strong people, maybe even a little domineering. It wasn't exactly that they pushed me around, but they made all the decisions about where we went and what we did. They took away all the responsibility. It felt... secure. I hadn't had that since my parents were killed. The different homes I went to were mostly fine, but I never felt like I belonged in any of them. I wanted someone to really take care of me. I didn't really have that growing up."
"It must have been tough. I can't imagine what it would have been like for me if I hadn't had my family."
"I guess I was looking for a protector, and the other side of it was that some of the guys I ended up with liked things a little rough too. It wasn't exactly what I was after, but I put up with it in the beginning, and then I started to get off on it too. I can enjoy sex without it - as you well know - but sometimes I just get this..."
Daniel nodded. " And I just have to do something about it. It's like an itch."
Jack nodded sagely. "Me too. It's been a long time since I had a regular sub. I guess you could say Hank Boyd was the last one."
"Would I know him?" Daniel asked.
"No, I don't think so," Jack smiled sadly. " He and his team were killed on the planet where we found the black hole, while you were off-world. It was their first mission together as a team."
"I'm so sorry."
Jack shrugged. "Shit happens, but it was damned hard watching them die and knowing that they knew what was coming. I guess you couldn't call it a real relationship, we were hardly ever stationed in the same place, but when we did get together we had some good times. I guess it was another itch scratching kinda thing, but he was a good man. I cared about him and I really went through it for a while after he died. I tried to keep it separate from work and blame any overspill on the fact that I'd recommended him for the command and I felt responsible. All that was true too, but it was way more than that. It was always more than that. For a change I was glad you were off-world. Usually I'm like a bear with a sore ass when you're not around, but that time at least I knew you were safe."
"God, you must have been in terrible pain. I had no idea and I'm angry at myself for not seeing it. Why didn't you say something?"
"You weren't expected to notice, Danny. I'm ex-Special Ops, remember? When I need to lock my emotions away in a little box, I'm so good at it no one spots the difference, not even you. I don't know why I didn't mention it."
Daniel sighed in frustration. "But I love you. That's what I'm here for."
"My mistake," Jack smiled. "I should have told you before. We wouldn't be in this mess now if I had."
"The same goes for me, Jack."
"Well, I know I have a Masters degree, and I know I only play up being dumb to irritate Carter, but I can still be a little dense sometimes."
"Yeah, you can, but I have two PhDs. What's my excuse?" Daniel grinned.
Jack snorted softly. " I could ask you the same question and I'd bet dollars to donuts the answer would be the same. It's just not the kinda thing you bring up in conversation, is it?" he smiled. "Guess we were both pretty dumb."
"It's not the first time and it won't be the last. What about safe words?"
"I used to use 'Blackhawks' for 'stop what you're doing', and 'Time out' if I needed to slow things down. What about you?"
"'Red' for 'stop' and 'Yellow' for 'slow down' but 'Time out' does just as well. So, now I've gotten over the shock, what's your story?"
"With me it was a little different. I was with a guy at the Academy who liked playing rough too. I'd always liked it when I was on the bottom, but he really seemed to get off on it when I was topping. I played along at first because he liked it, just like you did, but then I started to really get off on it myself. That eventually led to me becoming a switch, but I prefer being a dom I think. We'll have to play with that one, eh?"
Daniel smiled and nodded, silently. Although the idea of dominating someone else hadn't really occurred to him before, the concept of completely possessing Jack in a tangible way sent a shiver of excitement through him.
"I found I needed it less when I was in a relationship - like after Sara and I had Charlie - but even then, every six months or so I'd head out to another town on the pretext of going fishing and I'd just cruise and fuck for a coupla days. Then I'd go home and be the loving husband and father. I always seemed to be able to separate the two so that I never really felt bad about what I was doing. Sara never found out, thank God, and neither did the Air Force. I was careful, but still, I was lucky."
"Yeah, I guess you were."
"I had this box at the cabin where I kept all my stuff. It was funny; I'd get this tingle whenever I'd get the box down and take the stuff out. Sometimes I'd just look at it; sometimes I'd put it on and get so horny I'd have to jack off. Other times I 'd go down there just intending to fish, but I ended up going cruising anyhow."
Daniel nodded in understanding. "Is there a good club near the cabin?"
Jack chuckled. "Y'have to go a little ways, but there's a club and a coupla parks too."
Daniel shook his head and laughed. "You're not the only one who has a box. Should I bring it over sometime?"
"Yeahsurey'betcha," Jack grinned. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
"Absolutely. In fact, I've been known to get off on showing mine to anyone who wants to watch," Daniel smiled, a little shyly, not quite sure what Jack's reaction would be.
Jack raised his eyebrows. "'S'at so?"
Their eyes met for a second and then Daniel went into the kitchen to fix them a cup of coffee.
"So, you're a sub and an exhibitionist?"
"You could say."
Jack grinned. "Sweet. The idea of showing you off sounds like a good one to me, not to mention showing how damned good I am to be able to keep you. Ooh, I like that idea a lot."
"Y'know, I'm getting hard just thinking about it."
"Oh yeah." Daniel carried the mugs down the steps into the den and Jack saw the bulge in his pants.
"Oh. Yeah, I see."
"You want to help me out?"
"Shall I take the coffee?" Jack asked mischievously.
"That's a start," Daniel smiled.
Jack rose from the couch and took the steaming mugs out of Daniel's hands, kissing him softly as he did so. He put them down on the coffee table and put his arms around Daniel, pulling him close.
"I have absolutely no hope of getting it up again right now, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with not wanting you and everything to do with that treacherous bastard Jim Beam. I just thought I'd say that. So, tell me. What do you want?"
"Can we go back to bed?"
Jack took his hand and led him back to the bedroom, where they both stripped naked and lay down facing each other on top of the comforter.
"So? What can I do for you, Doctor Jackson?" Jack asked while stroking Daniel's face gently.
"I'd like to just make out for a while, then..." Daniel nibbled his lip nervously. "If you're okay with it, I really want to fuck you."
"Oh, I'm more than okay with it, babe. Way more than okay."
Daniel smiled happily and kissed him.
On Monday morning, back at the mountain, Jack bounced out of the elevator with a very smug grin on his face. Dr Fraiser noticed him coming out and stopped him in the corridor.
"You're bright and breezy today, Colonel," she smiled.
"And the top o' the morning to you, Doc. Had a good weekend?"
Janet raised her eyebrows. " Not really, I was working last weekend, but I can see you obviously did."
"Wonderful Doc! Absolutely wonderful," Jack beamed. "Thanks for asking. In fact, you remember that spot of trouble I was having?"
"All cleared up. Not a trace. That stuff you gave me was great."
"Well, I'm glad to hear it, Colonel. If it ever comes back again, you be sure to come back to the Infirmary and I'll see if I can find some more," she smiled, nudging him playfully in the ribs.
"I'll remember that. Thanks."
"By the way, have you seen Daniel today?"
"As a matter of fact, I have. He seems pretty chipper too," Jack replied with a hint of mischief.
"I guess he had a good weekend as well."
"I've had no complaints from him so far," Jack grinned. "I'm just off to see the General to see what our orders are for the week. I'm going to ask if we can have a few days off. I think SG-1 has earned itself a little R&R, don't you?" he winked. "I mean, just how many times do we have to save the planet to get a decent furlough around here?"
"On medical grounds I'd absolutely recommend it," Janet replied, trying not to laugh. "Would you like me to speak to General Hammond?"
"Y'know what? I think I can handle it, but thanks all the same."
Janet chuckled. "You're welcome, Colonel. Have a good day."
"You too, Doc. You too."
Janet could have sworn she heard Jack whistling 'Dannyboy' as he sauntered happily up the corridor.
After having words with the General, Jack had decided to find his team and guessed they'd be in the commissary. However, although Daniel was still eating his breakfast when Jack arrived, Sam had just finished and was about to take her tray back to the counter and Teal'c was nowhere to be seen.
"Good morning campers!"
Daniel looked up from his oatmeal, peering over the rim of his glasses and smiled.
Sam smiled too, but her smile was a little more suspicious.
"Now, what are you two lookin' at me like that for? Can't a guy be happy of a morning?" he complained.
"On a Monday, Sir?" Sam replied, incredulously.
Jack sat down beside Daniel and nudged him. "Ah, Monday Schmonday. Every day of the week brings new...stuff: new challenges for us to overcome. It's so exciting!"
"Yes, Sir. Whatever you say. I'll... I'll be in my lab if anyone needs me." Sam wandered away looking rather worried, shaking her head.
"Well, you're in a good mood," Daniel muttered, trying not to smile as he chewed.
"Aren't you? Jeez Daniel, I thought we had a pretty good weekend."
"Oh, we did, we did. It's just... I wasn't expecting to see you so... how can I put this? Liberated."
"And that's exactly it. Liberated."
"Hmm. I should really recognise the feeling, shouldn't I? Since it takes one to know one," he smiled, a little teasingly.
"When the one actually 'fesses up to being one," Jack chided.
Daniel chuckled. "So, how are we going to explore this liberation?"
Jack moved to sit opposite him and leaned forward.
"First of all, we get a few things straight. Now, I have a little theory about you and I want to test it out," Jack whispered huskily. The tone of his voice made the hairs on the back of Daniel's neck stand on end.
"I think that you'd really get off on playing in a public place."
Daniel almost choked on his oatmeal. "You can't mean here?"
"Calm down Daniel, I'm not going to ask you to drop to your knees and suck me off in the 'gateroom - although that idea has some appeal - no, just a little subtle playing. Like if I say the word 'green' to you, it means we're in the scene and you do whatever I tell ya to do."
Panic continued to grip him. "Christ, Jack. 'Green' is such a common word. How will I know when you're just saying it and when you're... saying it?"
"Trust me. You'll know. You won't know when to expect it though and you won't know what I expect from you. I told you, I'm good at this and I'll be the best you ever had. That's a promise."
"Jesus," Daniel gasped, shifting in his seat and willing his dick to calm down.
Their briefing with the General was long and boring. SG-1 had been scheduled to go out on back to back missions for ten out of the next fourteen days with only one weekend break, and with plenty of supplementary work after their off-world missions were finished. Granted, they were only either general recons or meet and greets, but the sheer work load wasn't something any of them were looking forward to.
"See if that doesn't dampen his chirpy mood," Sam muttered bitterly to Teal'c as they were leaving the briefing room.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Indeed. Perhaps after these missions are over we will be granted leave."
"God, I hope so. I can imagine me not even seeing my house for the next two weeks," she added miserably and trudged off to her lab.
"Be ready to ship out at 11:00 hours, guys and gals!" Jack yelled up the corridor after them. Daniel walked beside him looking a little forlorn.
"I don't know what you're so happy about. We just get all this stuff worked out between us and he's sending us on so many missions we'll be lucky if we can take a leak on our own. Who rained on the General's parade, anyhow? I was looking forward to... well, you know what I was looking forward to."
Jack just grinned. "There's a method in the madness."
Daniel looked at him in shock. "Sonovabitch! You planned this! This isn't the General, this... this is your idea!"
"Guilty, but that's hardly any way to talk to your 'master' is it?" Jack continued, grinning.
"You wanna tell me what the hell you're playing at? And I don't remember you saying the word 'green' recently."
Jack put his arm around Daniel's shoulders. "We spend the next two weeks working our asses off and then straight after that, we get two solid weeks off. That was the deal. Hammond already had these missions lined up for us to go on over the next four weeks. There was just a coupla breaks in between. I figured they'd be straightforward, so we could get 'em done in two and then take a long vacation. Which means you and me go to Minnesota." He leaned in close. "For Two. Whole. Weeks. That's fourteen days, Daniel and fourteen nights. One. Four. Have you any idea what we can get up to in two weeks?"
A filthy grin was spreading slowly over Daniel's face and his eyes were bright with excitement.
"You are a devious bastard, Colonel O'Neill. I'm proud of you."
"Why, thank you, Doctor," Jack chuckled. "That's why I have this bird here..." he looked down at his shoulder, and then squeezed Daniel's shoulder again. "...And this guy here."
SG-1's fifth straight mission was fast approaching and they were all beginning to tire - even Teal'c. They wearily got ready in the gear up room, Sam and Teal'c finishing first and making their way out to the 'gate room, leaving Jack and Daniel to finish up on their own.
Jack shut his locker door noisily and turned to Daniel with a dangerous glint in his eyes.
"I think you should leave the boonie at home and wear the green bandana this time, Daniel."
Daniel gulped. He'd begun to think that Jack had forgotten his threat (or was it a promise?) to start their scene at work. There was excitement, but it was overlaid with fear. There was the fear of discovery, and the fear of the unknown. They'd had virtually no time alone in the past couple of weeks, so Daniel had been unable to gauge what kind of a dom Jack might be. They'd snatched a few hours here and there, even managed to make love a couple of times - as tired as they both were - but other than that Daniel had missed him and longed to feel Jack's possession of him again; for much longer this time.
"You think so?" he asked, nervously.
"I know so."
Daniel swallowed again. "But..."
"Ah, ah. No buts, Doctor. Otherwise..."
Daniel actually had no idea what 'otherwise' meant at this point, but the expression in Jack's dark eyes brooked no argument and Daniel had no intention of finding out what 'otherwise' was. All he knew is that whatever Jack had planned for him off-world, 'otherwise' would be infinitely worse.
A little while later, SG-1 stood in front of the shimmering event horizon as they had hundreds of times before; but this time Daniel's heart was hammering in his chest even more than the very first time. He was grateful it was only a recon mission. Their preliminary analysis had indicated that the planet was uninhabited, and although there was some evidence of nah'qahdah, at this point it was unclear exactly how much was left. Sam and the General had decided it was worth them looking, just in case there was enough for the SGC to use. The UAV had also sent back pictures of what looked like an old settlement some distance from the 'gate, and Daniel was hoping that he and Jack would be checking it out while Teal'c and Sam conducted the mineral survey.
They stepped through the wormhole on the other side and Jack checked his watch. Daniel watched his back with trepidation.
"Okay, kids. Daniel and I will take a hike over to the settlement. Carter, you and Teal'c check out the old mine. Be careful. We'll stay in radio contact and if all goes to plan, we'll meet back here the day after tomorrow. That should give us all enough time to at least do a prelim. The boys back home can come out here and do it all in more detail later. Any questions?"
Sam and Daniel shook their heads; Teal'c remained as impassive as always.
As they left, Jack grinned at Daniel, enjoying the obvious discomfort Daniel was in. Jack hadn't really got anything heavy planned, but Daniel didn't know that and oh, it was so nice to torture him with the uncertainty. All part of the game; a game he was a master of in more ways than one.
By the time they'd reached the old settlement, Daniel was sweating and it wasn't just because of the heat. There were scant remains of rudimentary huts scattered around the area, but other than that not much evidence of solid structures except for the ruins of what was once probably a temple. While Daniel went over to check it out, Jack wandered around the perimeter, ever watchful.
Now and then, he'd look over to where Daniel was working, taking rubbings of wall carvings and inscriptions to study later, back at the SGC. 'Frottage' Daniel called it. Was there anything this guy did which didn't make Jack think of sex? He paused for thought. He couldn't recall anything.
Jack could still barely believe he'd fallen so hard for the young man and he was looking forward to training him very much. He adjusted himself as his dick began to fill, just imagining what an obedient sub Daniel might be and knowing that it was also in Daniel's nature to Dom, even if he didn't recognise it yet. He'd make a damned good 'top' too.
The thought of it made Jack salivate and he rubbed his erection through the rough material of his BDUs while he watched Daniel's ass moving from side to side as he rubbed a pencil over the paper on a low part of the outer wall.
Daniel stopped immediately. "Jack?" His heart began to thump at the tone of Jack's voice, pumping the blood into his cock at an alarming rate.
"Get over here."
Daniel began to stand.
"No. On your knees."
Daniel crawled over to him, the end of his tightly confined dick rubbing painfully against his underwear and pants. He stayed in that position, looking at the ground, and waiting for Jack to tell him to move. He felt a thrill of anticipation, wanting to serve him, needing to please him.
A surge of erotic power blasted through Jack as he continued rubbing his cock, revelling in the submission of the man on his knees before him. He pulled his belt out from his pants and ran it through his hands, hoping Daniel would make him use it and hoping that the experiment wouldn't backfire.
"That's good. Very good. I want you to listen carefully and do exactly what I say. You're going to unfasten my pants and take em down, and then you're going to lick my dick through my shorts. At no point are you to touch yourself in any way. Your entire body belongs to me. Is that clear?"
"When I say so, you can take my dick out of my shorts, then I want you to bend over the altar and take your pants down. Don't move yet."
Jack decided to take a chance and the end of his belt hit Daniel's ass with a surprising thwack, making Daniel jerk forwards and suck in his breath. It wasn't a hard blow by any means, just enough to send waves of sensation through Daniel's aching erection. No-one had ever struck him that way before and he was amazed at his own reaction.
"Do you want to please me, Daniel?"
Jack's voice was hesitant. The decision to hit Daniel hadn't been taken lightly; he'd had no idea what Daniel might do, but he was delighted that it had elicited the reaction he'd hoped for. Jack had never trained a sub that was so compliant, so eager to please him. It gave him a thrill like nothing else and he took several deep breaths before continuing.
"GOD yes." Daniel's voice was low, but strong.
Jack raised the belt and brought it down a little harder on Daniel's raised buttocks.
"OH! Thank you..." Daniel groaned, as his chin dropped to his chest and his buttocks quivered beneath the khaki. "Jesus... Jesus..." he murmured. "Time out!"
Jack immediately dropped to the floor beside him and put an arm around his shoulders.
"You okay?" he asked, his voice full of concern.
Daniel turned to him and smiled, taking shaky breaths. "It's okay, Jack, it's not what you're thinking. I only asked you to stop because if you do that to me once more, I'm going to come in my pants and I don't have a spare pair. It would be pretty difficult to explain if I go back to meet Sam and Teal'c with a come stain on the front of my BDUs wouldn't it?"
Jack held him, speechless.
Daniel returned the embrace, needing to reassure his lover that no damage had been done, in fact just the opposite. "I've never had that done before, although I've thought about it. I had no idea it would turn me on so much. We shouldn't do it any more while we're here, but it's definitely something to think about when we're at the cabin. Can we?"
There was such a raw and powerful need in that small question, a strangled, "Fuck, yes," was all that Jack could manage. The power exchange had just gone completely the other way, albeit only for a short while. They needed to finish this the way it had started, but Jack could only wonder at Daniel's strength. The thought of Daniel dominating him was becoming increasingly compelling as Jack found out more about Daniel's hidden depths.
He pulled himself together, using all the control he could muster not to stop the scene altogether and just make sweet love to Daniel with all the emotion welling up inside him.
"Are you ready?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't sound as shaky to Daniel as it did to him.
Daniel nodded, and then unfastened Jack's pants, sliding them slowly down to his ankles, and not daring to look his master in the eye. It shocked and surprised him that this scenario was turning him on so much. Obviously he had hidden submissive depths that even he didn't know about. However, he'd always found Jack's quiet strength erotic. The man was so dangerous and yet so ordinary: able to snap a man's neck in a second, but equally able to show a child how to be a child.
He nuzzled into Jack's groin, murmuring happily as Jack stroked his bandana-covered head with great affection. He mouthed Jack's balls until the material was wet, then licked up the shaft and sucked at the cotton covered head, straining for the slightest taste of pre-come, licking desperately, trying to force the tip of his tongue into the weeping slit at its tip.
Jack leaned back his head and moaned. "Stop! I changed my mind, " he barked, and Daniel sat back on his heels, dropping his head in both submission and disappointment. Jack pulled his pants back up and shoved Daniel away with his foot.
"Against the altar, Daniel. Bend over and drop trou. We're both going to get what we want. That is what you want, isn't it? My cock in your ass? You can tell me."
"Yessssss," Daniel hissed, his limitless vocabulary condensed into that one word.
"Yes, please, sir."
He turned and shuffled over to the large stone altar and then rose, facing away from Jack, with his heart pounding and his breath shaky. His trembling hands unfastened his pants and dropped them to the floor along with his shorts. The cool air caressed his bare buttocks; accentuating his vulnerability and making him wonder if that belt was going to come into play again, even though he'd told Jack they shouldn't. Making him hope that it might.
Jack followed him, in awe. In this as in everything, Daniel was the best he'd ever had. Jack needed to own him and be owned by him. He stood behind Daniel and dropped his pants again, fondling his aching balls with one hand and caressing Daniel's buttocks with the other.
"I love your ass, Danny," Jack murmured, his voice deep and husky with want. "I love the way it curves, I love the hair on it, I love the way it tastes and how tight it is when I'm buried as far inside you as I can get... and you know what else?" He leaned down to whisper in Daniel's ear. "I love the fact that it's mine!" The last word was punctuated by a slap with the flat of Jack's hand, making Daniel jerk forward into the cold stone. Now he'd seen the effect the belt had, Jack needed to see what he could do with his bare hands.
Jack kept himself in check, slapping Daniel's buttocks one after the other, and stopping before the point where he knew he would leave bruises. He dropped to his knees, barely noticing the pain, and began to adore Daniel's ass. He licked and laved the hot flesh of his buttocks, stroking and caressing, murmuring and moaning, dipping his tongue into the cleft and working Daniel's winking hole until the younger man was writhing and begging Jack to fuck him.
He continued to work Daniel's asshole with his fingers as he stood, lathering up some spit and coating the end of his cock. Without any further preparation he sank himself inside Daniel to the root in one powerful thrust, circling his hips as his balls touched Daniel's.
Daniel closed his eyes tightly and howled into the material of his sleeve as Jack began to fuck him hard and fast, grabbing onto the shoulders of his jacket for purchase and grunting. Jack's blunt cock head bruised his prostate, causing waves of pleasure to flow through him that were so intense they were at the point of pain. Jack's balls bashed painfully into his own time after time, but Daniel never wanted it to stop. Jack suddenly pulled out of him, making Daniel cry out both from pain and loss, then ordered him to turn around.
"Jerk off, Daniel. I want to watch you and I want you to watch me. Stroke it. Show me how much come you've got for me."
Daniel needed no further encouragement than Jack's low growl and the wild expression in his eyes. They both watched and stroked themselves into a frenzy of sexual energy. Their eyes were locked, although they barely recognised the other, fondling and pinching their bodies as they each saw the other's balls retreat and within a split second their cries echoed around the ancient ruin and their come spilled onto the sandy floor, merging into a single pool.
They stood for a few seconds, panting for breath and then Daniel sank to his knees again to tenderly clean the end of Jack's cock with his tongue. It was a gesture of such naked affection, it brought a lump to Jack's throat. After he was done, he pulled up Jack's shorts and refastened his pants, still averting his eyes, and then tidied himself.
Jack was still shaking as he pulled Daniel to a standing position and into a close embrace, kissing him tenderly. They had just broken the kiss when Carter's voice came over the radio.
"We're done here, Sir. We'll set up camp for the night and head back to the 'gate in the morning."
"Ah... okay Carter," Jack began, stroking Daniel's face with the back of his hand as Daniel nuzzled into it. "We're... ah, just about done here, too. I guess I over-estimated how long it would take. We'll see you there sometime tomorrow."
Jack looked into the eyes of his lover and saw a deep satisfaction in them he couldn't ever remember seeing before.
"Christ, Daniel," he whispered. "I really wish I'd known."
Daniel smiled, resting his arms on Jack's shoulders. "And as I've said, I wish I'd told you. I should have trusted you. I should have known how good you'd be."
"We shouldna done that, though. Not here. It was dumb and I'm sorry. I should have been able to control myself."
"Do you hear me complaining? It'll be fine. Janet usually does our post mission physicals and she already knows about us doesn't she?"
Jack nodded, still feeling guilty.
"So, all I have to do is make sure I go to her. She'll probably give me a telling-off. And you too for that matter..."
Jack chortled, "So, what else is new?"
"And if it isn't Janet, I can make an excuse. I'm a civilian. The 'don't ask, don't tell' doesn't apply to me. Besides, my records show that I've had romantic relationships with both women and men. You worry too much. I thought that was my department," he teased, gently.
Jack held him close and spoke quietly. "For a flake, you can talk a lotta sense sometimes. Now, listen, Daniel. I know I've asked a lot from you already, but I want to push you even further. Not now, but when we get out to Minnesota, I'm going to ask a great deal of you. I know you can do it. You'll have to trust me completely. Can you do that?"
A frisson of excitement shot through Daniel, as languid and sated as he was.
"Yes," he replied, his expression calm, but with an undercurrent of fear visible in his eyes.
Jack nodded. "Good. Let's pitch camp. You make a start on getting the tent up, I'll find some wood and make a fire. It's gettin' kinda chilly."
Daniel picked up the equipment and left the temple grounds, glancing at the floor as he passed the place where their combined come had landed, congealing in the sand. All of his life he'd been looking for 'the one'. The man who would drive him to the edge, coax him along it and maybe take the leap over it with him. He smiled as he acknowledged that Jack O'Neill was that man.
He didn't know what Jack was talking about when he mentioned 'asking a lot' of him, but knew that Jack was experienced and wouldn't push him too far too soon. He wanted to try so many things. Pain was one, fisting another, but he'd never have thought of suggesting any of them to his lovers before Jack. This time Daniel really felt that his nirvana was reachable and couldn't stop the grin from creeping across his face.
Jack collected sticks and twigs, the tedium of it a foil to his whirling emotions. This relationship had the potential to be more than he'd ever dreamed. Daniel was inexperienced but so damned eager it took his breath away. Everything he'd tried so far had gleaned a positive response. He hadn't been lying to Daniel back in the temple. When they had the time and the privacy at the cabin, he really did intend to see exactly where Daniel's limits were; and his own. He could feel his cock getting hard again at the thought of tying Daniel up, using the belt on him, showing him the pleasure and release he could attain through pain, having Daniel use the belt on him. God, it had been so long...
After Iraq, Jack had found one way of taking back control. He'd been beaten, tortured, addicted to drugs and the few months after he'd returned were filled with nightmares, when he allowed himself to sleep. The physical scars had healed well enough: some of the emotional scars were raw even now. He'd been powerless, helpless, abandoned by his team. Forgotten. The shrink had tried numerous techniques to help him combat his continuing sense of powerlessness, all to no avail, so Jack had decided to take matters into his own hands.
Even as he considered it, the logic seemed too weird to work, but part of him was convinced it would give him back control of his life and his emotions, so he persevered. He'd gone to a specialist club in San Francisco while still on sick leave. He'd fed Sara a line about seeing an orthopaedic surgeon there and convinced her that he needed some time alone. She hadn't been difficult to persuade. She was as unable to understand, as Jack was unable to explain. Jack could see how desperate she was for him to be well and come back to them again; he'd just hoped that his hunch was right.
'Master Stefan' was a professional in the S&M world, well-respected and extremely talented. Many inexperienced bottoms came to him to be shown the delights of pain in a controlled environment, or to be fisted for the first time by someone with years of experience both as a top and a bottom. Jack needed the Master to turn pain into pleasure and allow him to take back the control over his life that the Iraqi prison guards had taken away.
The Master had been patient and understanding as Jack explained his story. He had also been through torture as a POW in Vietnam and knew precisely what Jack needed. It was a slow process, undergone over a couple of weeks of daily sessions.
The Master took him gently through each stage: from being loosely tied, to being spanked, until the final day, when Jack had been tied to the Master's table and beaten with a leather belt until he'd reached the orgasm of his life without a hand touching his cock, spewing his come all over the tile floor of the Master's dungeon. By turning the pain into erotic pleasure, Jack had wrested the power back from the men who had tortured him. It had been the final victory and the first real step towards his rehabilitation.
He'd found as time went on that he didn't need to be strapped often, which was a good thing, since it was neither easy nor convenient for him to disappear for a few days and return to the family home with welts on his back, buttocks and thighs. Now and then, though, he'd manage a couple of weeks of 'fishing' or 'golf' and went back to the club for a session with the Master. He hadn't met anyone since the Master whom he'd wanted or trusted enough to strap him: until now. Daniel just might be strong enough, as much as he loved to sub. Jack could see it in him, he just hoped he was skilled enough to entice it out.
A little while later they sat in companionable silence after eating their field rations, whatever they were supposed to be. Jack glanced sideways at Daniel who seemed to be in a world of his own. The flickering shadows danced across his profile and his eyes shone in the moonless dark.
"Y'okay?" Jack asked.
Daniel stretched and smiled, then leaned into him.
"I'm good. You?"
"Hmm. More coffee?"
Daniel shook his head. "I'm about ready to turn in, it's getting cold out here. You want to take first watch?"
"I guess. I'd rather be snuggled up in there with you, but someone oughta be out here keepin' an eye on things I guess," Jack sighed, resigned and gazing back into the fire again.
With a small kiss to the top of Jack's head, Daniel stood and walked over to the tent, opening the flap, and Jack sadly watched him disappear inside.
He spent the next few hours making plans for their two weeks in Minnesota, getting himself so hot in the process he'd had to jerk himself off. He couldn't remember the last time he'd given himself completely to someone he loved. He thought back and wondered if that had ever happened. He'd subbed for the Master, and for one other, but any memory of loving someone as much as he loved Daniel and playing this game with them eluded him. He'd loved Hank, after a fashion, but as he'd explained to Daniel, it was more of an itch scratching arrangement than a full-on love affair. He shivered as he realised that this might be the very first time. He wanted desperately to make it right for him, to show him how good it could be, and knew that it would bring them closer; if that was possible.
Jack had been far too wound up to sleep and had let Daniel go through the night, smiling as the young man's quiet, regular snoring mingled with the night sounds of the woods. When morning arrived, he woke his lover with a kiss, and Daniel smiled against his lips as he instinctively nestled into Jack's comfortable embrace. Jack unzipped the sleeping bag, opened it fully and reached for the impressive morning bulge in Daniel's shorts, stroking and squeezing it as Daniel moaned softly.
Daniel didn't want a quick hand-job and wrestled with Jack's clothing until his pants had been pushed down to his knees. In one swift and smooth move, Daniel rolled an unresisting Jack onto his back and he lay there with a slightly amused expression in his eyes, licking his lips as Daniel took his shorts off. The amused twinkle was mirrored in Daniel's own eyes as he straddled Jack's body.
"Daaaniel..." Jack smiled. "What're you doing?"
"What do you think I'm doing? Starting the day one of my favourite ways; with you inside me," he grinned lasciviously. "Chances are I'm going to be busted anyway. I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb."
Jack began a half-hearted protest as he felt the head of his cock touch the warm dampness of Daniel's asshole. "But...you know what we sai... oh... gaaad..." the remonstration died on his lips as slick heat enveloped his cock and Daniel sank down, engulfing Jack in one smooth glide.
Jack opened his eyes to see Daniel's grin had widened. "You were saying?"
"Oh... nothing," Jack smiled back, more with his eyes than his mouth. "Not makin' a sound."
"You will shortly," Daniel chuckled softly," otherwise I'm not as good as I thought I was." He clenched his ass muscles, making Jack hiss and rock his hips upwards, resting his hands on Daniel's hairy thighs, then cupping his balls allowing them to nestle warm and furry against his palm.
"Oh, you're good. Definitely...good. Better than good. Terri... ah fuck it. C'mere." Jack loosed his hold and then pulled him down, thrusting his tongue impatiently into Daniel's mouth as Daniel chuckled around it.
They settled into a steady and leisurely rhythm, Jack rocking his hips gently and stroking Daniel's cock as Daniel slid effortlessly up and down, squeezing in all the right places and stroking Jack's chest and nipples. It was a gentle, languorous, morning fuck and when they both came, it was warming rather than explosive, Daniel taking both their dicks in his hand and stroking them to orgasm. Afterwards they lay for a few moments, stuck together as Jack stroked Daniel's hair.
Daniel's warm breath puffed against Jack's neck as he snuggled in close. Jack's hand was underneath his rucked up t-shirt, the finger-pads tracing lightly up and down his back.
"You know I'm crazy about you, dontcha?" Jack murmured.
"Mmm. Ditto," Daniel mumbled against Jack's skin. He raised his head and smiled, a little goofily. "I can't wait until we get out to the cabin."
Jack smiled back and gently pushed Daniel's head to rest on his chest. Daniel held him tighter and could feel Jack's chest vibrating as he spoke.
"You know... this could get a little heavy. D'you think you're ready for that?"
"More than ready. Besides, that's what safe words are for. If things are a little deeper than I'm comfortable with, I know you'll stop." He leaned up again, looking at Jack earnestly. "There are plenty of things I've wanted to try that you don't know about, Jack. There's a part of me that's very dark; a part of me that I've never let anyone see before. I need... I need it to be intense and I know that you can give it to me. I know how much you love me and it goes both ways."
He rested his head back down, needing the relative anonymity of not looking at Jack as he confessed some of his desires; desires that had been so well hidden from all of his previous lovers, it felt a little odd bringing them into the open.
"I want to give you what you need, too. I don't see this trip as being just to satisfy me, you know? I'm going there for us both to take what we already have to a higher level. I've never wanted to do this with anyone else before. I need to show you who I really am, with no bullshit and no pretence. I'm trusting you with the deepest part of me. Do you understand?" He raised his head again and moved over so that the two men were face to face.
Jack's expression was difficult to read. It was sombre and serious, with no sign of his usually ever-present sense of humour. He looked a little stunned, if Daniel was honest. He stroked Daniel's cheek and nodded. "I understand better than you know. But you will. Love you, Daniel."
"I love you too, and I have to pee," Daniel kissed him and rolled off, padding out of the tent to relieve himself.
Jack chuckled; amazed at the way Daniel could read situations so accurately. It had been time to break the moment and Daniel had, quickly and effectively. He reached into his pack and retrieved some wet wipes to clean himself off and then began to dress.
When they met Sam and Teal'c back at the Stargate, Sam looked at Daniel with a slightly puzzled expression.
"Daniel? You okay?"
Daniel smiled. Actually, he broadened the smile he'd had playing around his lips from the moment he and Jack had emerged from the trees.
"He's more than fine," Jack interjected, before Daniel had a chance to say any more. "Found a bunch of old ruins. He's had a ball. C'mon kids, nothing else to see here. Let's get back to the barn and tell the General what a cosmically thrilling mud ball this is. Dial it up, Daniel."
The briefing was mercifully short and all four of them were impatient to begin their down time after such a long and intense period of duty. The General dismissed them with a smile. "Go get some R&R, SG1. You deserve it."
"Yes Sir!" Jack grinned and pushed his chair away from the table.
Daniel glanced sideways at his lover and grinned, standing himself.
Sam sidled over to Daniel, whispering in his ear. "Are you sure you're going fishing?"
"Absolutely!" Daniel replied with his best innocent look. "It's going to be hell. You know how bossy he can be. He'll have me baiting his hooks, getting him coffee, and generally running around after him. I could do without it, tell you the truth, Sam."
"So, tell him you can't go. Find an excuse."
Daniel looked slightly shocked. "I promised!"
"Hey, I've managed to get out of it so far."
Daniel huffed with soft laughter. "Well, look at it this way, I can make it so hard for him, he won't ask me again. Or maybe I'll actually enjoy it. It won't be the first time I've been fishing," he shrugged.
Sam looked incredulously at him and raised her eyebrows. "There aren't any fish in his lake, Daniel."
"Ah!" Jack began, having crept up behind her.
Sam jumped, startled, and turned around to face her grinning C.O.
"As I tried, unsuccessfully I might add, to explain to T-Man over there, the whole point of it is fishing. Actual fish are not important. And I'm very disappointed in you, Carter. Finding excuses not to come fishing with me," he waved his finger and tutted, shaking his head as he walked away. "Smacks of insubordination, Major."
Sam rolled her eyes and Daniel's shoulders shook with repressed giggles.
"He's so full of it," she murmured.
Daniel kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I can handle him, Sam. Don't you worry a bit."
The plane touched down at International Falls with both men having reached an understanding. The scene was to begin the moment they set foot in the cabin and Daniel would know his place. Some negotiation took place on the couple of hours drive to where the cabin was located and they had agreed that the first week would be to take Daniel to the limit of his submission, the weekend would be out of the scene completely to give them a break, and the second week was for Daniel to see just how far he could go as a top.
By the time they parked up outside the wooden building, Daniel's whole body was thrumming with excitement. Jack had kept one of the bags with him the whole journey. It was a battered leather pilot case and Jack refused to tell Daniel what it contained no matter how much he cajoled and eventually begged. Jack surprised himself by really getting off on keeping him guessing. Fragmented visions of various items of BDSM equipment rolled through Daniel's mind, only serving to heighten his anticipation and he could hardly wait to enter the cabin and submit himself body and soul to Jack.
Jack smiled dangerously as they unloaded the truck, and he stopped Daniel at the threshold. He put his arms around his lover and held him close.
"You still sure you want to go through with this?" he asked quietly. "We can call the whole thing off right now and just have a nice, relaxing coupla weeks with no harm, no foul. Just being with you on our own is the most important thing for me. Tell me now one way or the other and I'll shut up about it."
Daniel kissed him softly. "I'm sure. I need this, Jack. I need you."
Jack nodded. "Fair enough. Take the bags through to the bedroom, take off your clothes and wait for me there."
Daniel did as he was told, setting the bags down before removing his clothes with hands shaking so badly he could barely unfasten the buttons.
He could hear creaking floorboards as Jack walked around in the rest of the one storey cabin and as he stood naked and vulnerable in the bedroom he wondered when Jack was going to get there and put him out of his misery; except he wouldn't have exactly called it misery. There was excitement, fear and anticipation whirling around inside him, evidenced by his trembling hands and his semi-erect cock which was thickening and lengthening, slowly rising and twisting between his legs. By the time Jack came through the bedroom door he was fully hard, which elicited a satisfied smile from his master.
"Beautiful," he murmured, carrying the pilot case into the room and setting it down on the floor beside the bed. He had changed his clothes and was now dressed completely in black. Jet black jeans, which hugged every contour of his groin and thighs, black boots and a very tight black tee with half cut-off sleeves. The darkness of his clothing made the silver flashes at his temples shine even more brightly in the lamplight. Outside, the sky was mottled with purples and deep blues as night began to descend like a cloak over the trees.
Jack bent to open the suitcase and retrieved some items from inside. His back was to Daniel and Daniel dared not move to see what he was doing, although he did lift his eyes and suck in his breath as he watched Jack's jeans stretching against his ass. When he finally turned, the dangerous smile was back and Daniel caught his breath again when he saw what Jack was holding.
In one hand was a leather collar, lined with fine velvet, and two similarly lined leather wrist bands. In the other hand were two more bands, which Daniel assumed were for his ankles. All of them had sturdy steel buckles and rings. Jack placed them on the bed and walked all the way around Daniel, looking him up and down and nodding approvingly. Daniel's face flushed with excitement and embarrassment at being this naked. It was almost as if, in his current state, Jack could see into the depths of his soul. He didn't want to disappoint. From the look on Jack's face and the outline of his heavy and swelling cock constrained by the tight denim, it seemed that Jack was satisfied. As Jack moved around him, he caressed various parts of Daniel's body, stroking the fine hair on his thighs, his arms and his buttocks as Daniel stood meekly, not making a sound or a movement. After his inspection, Jack stood facing him and dipped the tip of his finger into the pre-come pooling at the tip of Daniel's cock. Jack lifted the finger and licked off the tangy liquid.
"You taste good."
"Thank you, sir."
"And you look good. You see these?" He gestured towards the restraints. "You'll wear these all the time, except for when you're sleeping. If I see you without them, I'll have to punish you. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," Daniel nodded.
Jack picked up the collar, gently put it around Daniel's neck and began to fasten it.
"Is this comfortable?"
"Good. The point of this isn't to hurt you. You know that, don't you?" Jack's voice had taken on a different quality. Daniel had never heard Jack talk this way before. He was calm, and strong... actually, when Daniel thought about it, he had heard this tone before, but only when Jack was flying. He was completely in control and part of him obviously revelled in it. It was the voice of a man totally at ease with command: of a machine, a situation or a person. In this case the person was Daniel and the more Jack talked to him, the safer and more secure Daniel began to feel.
As Jack fastened the metal buckle, he crooned into Daniel's ear.
"This is to remind you who you belong to. Every time you turn your head, every time you see yourself in the bathroom mirror you'll know."
He walked back to the bed again, kissing Daniel's shoulder on the way, and picked up the wrist restraints. As he began to fit them, snugly, but not tightly, to Daniel's wrists, he began to speak again.
"These are to remind you that your every action will be controlled by me. Your ability to make your own decisions has been taken away and you won't be able to so much as pee without my permission."
Picking up the ankle bands, he went to his knees and began to fasten those too.
"And these are to remind you that wherever you go will also be controlled by me. This isn't just about sex, Daniel. This is about you giving up control over your whole life to me for the time we're in the scene. You can stop it at any time if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If you say your safe word, I'll stop immediately. If you say 'time out', we'll break. Clear?"
Daniel nodded. Jack stood again and stroked Daniel's face tenderly.
"I'm going to show you what it is to really submit your soul to someone who loves you. I'm only going to ask you this once, and when you've given me your answer you'll have taken the last step and I will be your Master. Your everything. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Jack," Daniel replied, shakily.
"You call me 'sir'."
"That's better. Now." Jack took Daniel's face in his hands and looking earnestly into his eyes.
"Do you trust me?"
"With your body?"
"With your life?"
"With your soul?"
"Good. You're doing very well, Daniel. I'm pleased with you so far." He looked down at Daniel's weeping and obviously aching erection.
"You want to come, don't you?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.
"If it pleases you, sir," Daniel replied, looking at the floor and flushing with embarrassment.
'God,' thought Jack. 'He's a fucking natural.' Jack could barely contain his own excitement at finding such a wonderful pupil.
"Take off my clothes."
Daniel slid his hands gently up inside Jack's tight tee shirt and carefully pulled it off. Then he sank to his knees to unfasten the boots, acutely aware of the leather collar around his neck. He could hardly loosen the laces, his hands were shaking so much, and he yearned to tug his balls, desperate not to come before Jack gave him permission. Jack was every fantasy he'd ever had about being dominated. He wasn't yelling. He didn't need to. As much as the scene at the apartment had turned Daniel on, it wasn't about that. Daniel had handed over complete control of every facet of his life to Jack, and Daniel had never felt safer, more relaxed or more secure.
Finally, Jack was naked, his impressive erection level with Daniel's face. He longed to make love to it, but wouldn't... couldn't move until Jack said so.
"Suck me a while, Daniel," Jack murmured and Daniel went to the task with enthusiasm, thrilled and encouraged by Jack's every moan and gasp.
"Enough!" Jack barked after a few minutes and he urged Daniel to stand.
"Get on your knees on the bed," he whispered, stroking Daniel's head affectionately, the way he had on the planet. "I want you to open your ass up. Show me what belongs to me."
Daniel complied, spreading his legs wide and resting his head on the pillow. Jack moved around the bed and attached chains to the wristbands with quick release fasteners, tugging the chains to make sure they were tight enough. Then he repeated the procedure with Daniel's ankles.
Daniel grabbed the chains with his hands and a satisfied sigh escaped his lips. He'd never been chained to a bed before, never been this vulnerable before and he finally, unequivocally knew that he could never do this with anyone but Jack. He'd made the right choice.
Anticipation fluttered in his gut as he felt the bed sink behind him and the lubed end of Jack's cock touch his asshole. Jack stroked his ass cheeks, then gave them a few tenderising slaps, which sent bolts of sensation up through Daniel's balls to the end of his cock. He'd barely gasped his shock at the slaps when Jack sank inside him in one smooth stroke. He cried out from the burning as the sensitive skin of his unprepared asshole was stretched and then sighed at the comforting heavy weight of Jack's balls against the back of his thigh.
"No noise. I won't tell you again."
"No sir, I'm sorry, sir."
"Oh God, Daniel," Jack growled through gritted teeth, as he took total possession of Daniel's ass.
Daniel's face was thrust into the pillow and Jack reached forward, removing it and allowing Daniel to breathe. Jack leaned his head on Daniel's back, and then bit down hard. Daniel almost cried out, but bit his own lip and stopped himself, swallowing the cry. Jack continued to fuck him, bruising his prostate and taking him to the very edge of orgasm. It took every ounce of Daniel's control to not come, but his determination not to disappoint Jack was stronger than his desire to orgasm. He needed to prove both to Jack and to himself that he was able to go as far as Jack wanted to take him.
Jack pounded into him with short, stabbing strokes and leaned over him again.
"Come for me, baby," he gasped and Daniel threw back his head, tugged hard on the chains and roared as pearly come spurted long and hard out of the end of his cock, pooling on the bed-sheet below. Jack grunted and sank even deeper inside him, letting his own load fly and biting down again into Daniel's shoulder blade. The intense pain caused Daniel's cock to jerk again, spewing out another jet of come after Daniel thought he'd finished.
He sank boneless onto the bed, panting as Jack withdrew and began to unfasten his bonds. The experience had been so intense, Daniel could feel the emotion welling up inside him, but bit back the tears. Jack rolled him over and kissed him, softly.
"You have my mark now. It'll show up more in the morning, and it's gonna hurt, but you know now, don't you?"
"Yes, sir," Daniel replied, his voice shaking.
"Change the sheets and then go get cleaned up. I'm proud of you."
Daniel smiled and began to take the damp, come stained sheet off the bed while Jack put on his clothes. "Thank you, sir."
"When you're done, you can come into the kitchen and get something to eat. It's been a long day."
They had arrived at the cabin on Sunday and now it was one o'clock on Thursday morning. Daniel turned to watch his Master sleeping and remembered with affection what had become their evening ritual. At 10:45pm exactly, Jack would begin to remove Daniel's restraints, placing them one by one on the nightstand at Daniel's side of the bed. First, he would slowly take off the ankle straps and place a kiss on each ankle bone in turn, then he would remove the wrist bands, again placing a soft kiss on the inside of Daniel's wrists, and finally he would unfasten the collar, his warm breath caressing the edge of Daniel's ear as finally the game ended for the day. He would invariably take Daniel into his arms and kiss him deeply, then quietly ask Daniel to make love to him; and Daniel did, every night, joyously and gratefully, needing to be inside Jack just as much as Jack needed him to be there.
As Daniel watched him sleep, he realised that this could never be a lifestyle choice, only an occasional diversion from their regular intimate relationship. He couldn't deny that he felt safer and more secure than he ever had in his life when Jack was in control. It was an indescribable feeling to be owned by the man he loved in such a solid way, but Daniel couldn't imagine himself being able to keep this up for too long. He enjoyed their intellectual sparring too much, and already felt the itch to turn the tables on Jack. As the scene had progressed he had begun to understand more fully that Jack needed this as much as he did and Daniel wanted to give it to him. He stroked Jack's peaceful face softly and smiled.
Jack had been gentle with him, if the truth was told, and there were still things that Daniel wanted to explore. He was particularly hopeful about two of them. He could still remember how fantastic it had felt when Jack slapped him with his belt back on the planet. He hadn't been kidding when he'd said he was about to come. Daniel had never felt anything like it and wanted Jack to do it again, he was just a little afraid to ask. It was absurd, but when Jack was in the scene, his power was overwhelming, which was part of the attraction. Perhaps now, while they were in 'time-out' would be a good opportunity to suggest it. The other thing he wanted to try with Jack was as far out on the edge as he could imagine himself going on a physical level and from what Jack had instructed him to do, he wondered if that was what Jack had in mind. He'd told Daniel to wear a butt plug for several hours each day of the last two days, and yesterday Jack hadn't actually fucked him, he'd ploughed his ass with a very large dildo.
A knot of excitement began to form inside Daniel's gut. If Jack asked him to do one more thing, that would be it, and Daniel would know that his fantasy was about to be realised. His dick had begun to swell and throb beneath the comforter as he thought about it. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine what it would be like and his hand strayed downward to caress his erection.
Jack was habitually a light sleeper and woke up at the movement beside him. He rolled over and looked at Daniel's face as he pleasured himself. It really turned him on to see his lover looking that way, but he did feel a little left out.
"You started without me, that's not very fair," he whispered, placing the flat of his warm hand on Daniel's soft, flat belly.
Daniel's eyes snapped open and he turned to Jack, smiling. "Sorry," he whispered back and picked up Jack's hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing the palm. He began to roll over, but Jack stopped him.
"Carry on doin' what you're doin'. I want to watch your face. Just open your legs up for me, I wanna play around a little," he grinned, ghosting his hand down Daniel's body, cupping his balls and then gently pushing his legs apart.
The slight contact made Daniel shiver and he spread his legs as asked, drawing up his knees so that Jack had full access to his asshole.
Jack rolled back over to his nightstand and picked up a tube of lube, coating his fingers liberally with it, then shuffled down slightly so that he could play with Daniel's ass and watch his face at the same time.
"Get back to it, baby," Jack encouraged, pushing down the comforter and kissing the end of Daniel's dick.
Daniel leaned back against the pillows again and began to stroke and squeeze his dick, sliding his hand up and down, twisting it around the head, spreading the pre-come around and then picking some up on his finger which he then licked with great relish. Jack's answering growl made him smile in triumph, a smile that soon faded. He gasped as Jack slid one slender finger inside up to the third knuckle, and then twisted it. Daniel began to roll around, moaning softly as his hand sped up. His other hand pulled and twisted his nipples, pinching and rolling them, pulling them so hard, Jack had never seen them look quite so long. He made a mental note to bring out the nipple clamps the following day.
One finger became two, and then three as Jack slowly and carefully finger-fucked him, twisting and sliding, opening up the muscle. Only Jack knew what he had planned for the day after. He was pretty sure that Daniel was ready for it, and because he'd done this before he was also pretty sure that Daniel was coming to the end of the road with this particular game. He could see that it would figure in their lovemaking from time to time, but Daniel wasn't a permanent sub and Jack was happy with that.
Daniel was getting close to his orgasm, and Jack asked him to slow down for a while, make it last. Daniel nodded, and relaxed, allowing Jack to curve his fingers together slightly and begin to ease his little finger in also, tucked in behind the others. The extra width caused Daniel to gasp, and his asshole reflexively clenched hard around Jack's fingers, causing Jack to grimace in pain.
"Easy, Daniel. Just relax."
"Jesus Christ, Jack..." Daniel grunted.
"It's okay. You never had four, huh?"
Daniel shook his head, his jaw clenched tight.
Jack began to move the fingers in infinitesimal movements, crooning into Daniel's ear, reassuring him. He added more lube around Daniel's hole and the base of his fingers, and then very slowly began to slide them out.
"That's good, you're doing fine," he murmured as his fingers slipped out and the sphincter contracted.
Daniel's erection had subsided and after Jack had wiped his hand, he wrapped it around Daniel's half hard dick.
Daniel relaxed and rolled towards him, so that they were face to face.
"Yeah, I'm okay. It was just a little... too much. Jack, are you planning what I think you're planning?" he asked with a frown.
Jack kissed him. "How close to the edge do you want me to take you, Daniel?"
The exclamation came out as a harsh whisper as Daniel realised what was going on.
Jack stroked Daniel's dick slowly and gently as he spoke. "If you don't want it, I won't do it. This isn't something to be taken lightly. You have to be sure."
So it was true, Jack was planning to fist him. He'd never gone anywhere near that level before, although he'd thought about it plenty of times. He hadn't lied when he'd said he'd never had four fingers inside him before, but he'd almost broken his wrist a couple of times trying. He'd heard from so many people how fulfilling it was, how it took erotic pleasure to a new level, that the sense of trust and belonging it could bring was almost overwhelming but he'd never been able to bring himself to do it with a stranger. Friends had recommended a couple of guys who were extremely experienced tops who had been more than willing to initiate him, but if he was going that far, Daniel wanted it to be with someone he cared about. If anyone was going to fist him, it would be Jack.
"I'm sure, but not tonight."
Jack shook his head and frowned. "Hell no! There are things you'll need to do before we even attempt it, and it'll take a long time to actually get there, but when you do, I promise I'll make it worth the wait." He leaned in close and then rolled on top of Daniel, looking into his face and smiling.
"I'm gonna blow your mind, Doctor Jackson."
Daniel smiled back. "Always."
Jack kissed him deeply, their tongues curling around each other possessively. When they finally broke, Jack was the one to pull away.
"The only question I've got, is do you want this to be in the scene or not?"
Daniel frowned again. "What d'you mean?"
"I mean, you want me to fist you and Christ knows I want to do it, it's a form of possession you can't get any other way. At least, that's the way it's always felt to me. Thing is, we can still do that if I'm not your Master and for me it'll work just as well. Better, maybe."
Jack rolled to the side and Daniel was quiet, contemplating his answer. He wanted it. He wanted Jack inside him up to the elbow. Jack had read him so well, and if Jack thought it would be just as emotionally fulfilling with them as equals, rather than him subbing to Jack, then Daniel was happy doing it that way.
"Not in the scene. Don't get me wrong, it was what I needed, I see that now, but it's not something I want all the time, you know?"
Jack smiled in acknowledgement. "Yeah. I know. Besides, I want my turn too y'know."
Daniel chuckled. "I hope you know what you're letting yourself in for."
"Oh I reckon you're up to it, Daniel. And as long as it features the leather belt I have in my little box of tricks over there connecting with my ass, I'll be a happy camper."
Daniel leaned up to look at him.
"You want me to beat you?"
Jack coloured slightly in embarrassment. "Well, yeah, I do. It's... ah... it'll be best if we have a run-through before we start playin', just so's I can let you know where and how hard really does it for me. See, the thing is, I've never let anyone this close to me before, never submitted to anyone since..."
Daniel's eyes widened expectantly.
"I'll tell ya some other time. Anyway, I've always topped. Never found anyone I wanted to sub for. I guess I have now, huh?" he smiled, stroking Daniel's face.
Daniel reached forward and cradled Jack's face in his hand. "Whatever you need."
"Right now I need to wash my hands," Jack grinned and rolled away.
As Daniel watched him go, he wondered for a fleeting moment if he could go through with it. He knew Jack would never hurt him, that was the whole point of this exercise after all, to take the leap of faith and know that Jack was there to catch him, but those four fingers had hurt. He hadn't been expecting how wide Jack's hand would be, and if that was only four...
He leaned back onto the pillow and tried to remember his Transcendental Meditation techniques to help him relax. The way things were looking, it was that, alcohol or poppers, and the latter two were not options.
He also questioned whether he'd be able to beat Jack or not. He could only imagine Jack's reasons for getting off on it from the way it had felt when Jack had hit him; they'd never talked about Jack liking it done to him before. Daniel had difficulty imagining getting off on doing it, other than the fact that he was giving his lover pleasure, but this week had been full of surprises, so he really didn't know.
Before now he'd imagined BDSM relationships to be complicated, but now he was in one, the psychological nuances of it blew his mind. He tried to analyse, break it down into simple chunks of information as he would with a translation, but that didn't work. The more he thought about it, the more he realised how the whole thing was based on trust and mutual respect. He decided that he'd been spending too much time around Sam, and some things were better left alone. He trusted Jack with every cell in his body, with his memories, his pain, his happiness, everything. And that was all either of them needed to know.
Jack walked back into the bedroom smiling. "You look a little pensive there, y'okay? If we don't do it, it doesn't matter, y'know."
Daniel frowned as Jack got back into bed. "It does. The point of all this for me is to see how far I can go. I love you with everything I am, you know that. I've never really felt this way about anyone and I need to push it with you. I want... I want to be able to jump off the cliff and know that you're there to catch me. Does that make any sense?"
Jack scooted over and took Daniel into his arms, laying Daniel's head on his chest.
"Yeah, it makes sense. It works both ways too. Guess I should do a little explaining. I know I said I'd tell you another time, but since we're having an 'Oprah' moment," Jack smiled and kissed Daniel's hair as Daniel huffed softly against his chest-hair.
"When I came back from Iraq, I was seriously screwed up. The physical wounds took their time, but you get over that eventually, but mentally and emotionally I was a wreck. It drove Sara nuts. She couldn't communicate with me and try as I might I couldn't explain. I couldn't explain it to myself, so I hadn't got a snowflake's chance in hell of explaining it to her. It got to the point where I was withdrawn and moody; I snapped at Sara all the time, I had no patience with Charlie, I was a mess. The thing I couldn't seem to get out of my mind was the fact that they'd left me there. They fucking left me there. My team. My buddies. The ones who are supposed to watch your back. They all got into that chopper and fucked off to safety leaving me to be captured. That all but destroyed my trust in anyone. Then I got to talking to a couple of guys in the VA hospital. We really bonded, y'know? One of 'em was Hank, the guy I told you about who got killed when we dialled into that black hole."
Daniel stroked his chest gently. "I remember."
"Well, being bi isn't something you'd share with just anybody, especially when you're in the military, so when we got together it was... a comfort I guess. To be around someone who understood. I tried to explain to him how I was feeling and he told me a story about a guy he knew who'd been in the same position. He'd been left in country by his platoon in 'Nam and the VC had captured him. They were fucking brutal. The Iraqis were bad enough, but these guys were professionals. Totally destroyed any sense of dignity. Treated them like they were less than human. So, when he came back he promised himself he'd find a way to get it back. It... bear with me here, Danny, because this is gonna sound like the weirdest crap you ever heard."
"It's okay, Jack. Carry on."
"Okay. Well, he tried a whole bunch of techniques, sexual and non-sexual, to try to get back what the VC had taken away from him, his ability to trust. He found it by going to a Master and with the Master's help he discovered that he could get off on being beaten. It was like by turning the physical pain into pleasure, he took back what his platoon and the VC had taken away from him in 'Nam. The pain became pleasure and through submission and domination he learned to trust again."
"So, what happened?"
"This guy is a Master in San Francisco now, and I went to him. I was there for a couple of weeks, and he helped me do the same thing. I can't explain to you why it works, it just... it worked for me anyway. Thing is, since then I've only topped. I've wanted to bottom, but there was always something that stopped me going that extra yard. I cared about Hank, but not enough. Then there's you," Jack squeezed him tighter. "You got in there deeper than anyone else ever has, Sara included. I always had to keep a part of me secret from her. Hated to do it, but it had to be done, y'know?"
Daniel kissed his chest and stroked his stomach. "Yeah, I know."
"I even kept it secret from you, but now... Jesus Daniel, you don't know how it feels to just be able to relax and be who I am. This is it. I mean, this is everything. 100% Jack O'Neill with nothing held back. No-one in my life before has been this close and it still surprises me sometimes. What the hell is it about you that makes me drop every firewall I ever built, huh?"
Daniel nuzzled into his chest and smiled, "You're not on your own, Jack. I'm not exactly known for being emotionally open, I've never made friends easily and as for lovers... there's been a few, but not that many and never anyone I felt a connection with like I do with you, as much as we drive each other insane."
Jack chuckled softly, "Maybe that's just one of the things that makes you and me so strong."
"Maybe," Daniel agreed.
"And on that note, I'm going to sleep. All this 'baring your soul' crap tires me out," Jack smiled. Daniel started to roll away, but Jack pulled him back in.
"I feel like waking up with a dead arm in the morning," he whispered and turned off the nightlight.
Daniel looked up and smiled, kissing him softly. "Sleep well, babe."
Jack woke before him, as usual, and as usual, spent a few minutes just watching. Daniel's face in repose was almost completely different to his waking face. It was certainly different to his working face. The frown lines were gone and all Jack could see was a hint of the laughter lines around his eyes. Jack hoped he'd played a part in them being there. They'd laughed a whole lot since they'd been together, something which had obviously been missing for them both for a very long time.
For all of Jack's bluster and hard-assed image, there was a wide streak of softness within him that he tried to keep under wraps as much as possible. With children it came out as protective and kind, with Daniel he had to keep a check on the sap factor. As a lover, Jack was inclined to be nauseatingly sappy on occasion and he didn't think Daniel would appreciate it. There were occasional gifts, meals out, signs of appreciation, but for the most part they were a couple of 'guys'. This week had given Jack the opportunity not so much to let out the sap inside him, but to really let his urge to protect and take care of Daniel come out in all its force.
At work, he knew that Daniel didn't need his protection. He was big enough and ugly enough to take care of himself. Well, perhaps not ugly... The thing was, that Jack sometimes desperately wanted to shield him from the evils of the universe and that just wasn't an option. Daniel was a full part of the field unit and as such pulled his own weight in every area of its operation. It had taken some time for Jack to persuade General Hammond to allow Daniel to use heavier weapons than the knife and hand gun he usually carried, but as always Daniel had taken to using them quickly and efficiently. He could never understand why people were so shocked to see Daniel with a P90, but then sometimes Daniel gave a very good impression of being the weak link in the chain. His stumbling, bumbling fool had a core of steel and a callous streak which sometimes scared even Jack. He was a perfect foil to Jack's 'dumb Colonel' routine, which covered a ruthless soldier with an incisive and tactical mind. Both could be useful in lulling enemies into a false sense of security, but sometimes Jack just wanted to hold him. Like now.
The converse of that was Jack needing to submit to Daniel as much as Daniel had needed to submit to him. As strong as he was, he wanted to be taken care of too. He'd never met anyone before Daniel who had been able to allow him to simply be. He wanted to leap off that cliff-top. He needed to know that there was one person in the entire universe whom he could trust that much. There were no doubts in his mind that Daniel was the one, but the thought of submitting himself completely to someone who wasn't the Master still sent ghosts of fear skittering around his gut. That said, there was plenty of excitement and anticipation mixed around in there as well, and Jack couldn't wait for the game to begin. He wondered how it would pan out, whether they would agree on a particular time to start, or if Daniel would just spring it on him. He wasn't sure which he'd prefer.
Daniel stirred beside him and opened one bleary eye.
"Humph," Daniel grunted, and managed a weak smile. Jack stifled a chuckle. His archaeologist didn't really do mornings and Jack suddenly felt a little guilty for not starting the coffee before now.
"Coffee?" he asked.
"Mmmph," Daniel replied shaking his head and placing a hand possessively over Jack's soft dick. Jack chuckled and stroked his face, eliciting a bigger smile.
"Feelin' frisky are we?" Jack asked with raised eyebrows.
"A little," Daniel replied croakily, the smile turning into a fully fledged grin. "We missed out last night with all the talking. As useful as it was."
"True, true. C'm'ere."
Jack pulled Daniel on top of him and they began to kiss, Daniel rocking between Jack's legs and rubbing their cocks together as Jack wrapped his legs around Daniel's hips to lock him in. As was so often the case with their morning lovemaking, it was gentle and affectionate, both of them coming messily within seconds of each other with soft gasps of pleasure rather than wall-shaking roars. Afterwards, Daniel nuzzled into Jack's neck, kissing him gently, his stubble rasping against the soft skin.
"Y'know, I really love it when we wake up like this," Jack sighed.
"Sap," Daniel teased.
"Asshole," Jack retorted, smiling. "You knew I was a sap when you met me. Y'can't complain if you bring out the romantic in me."
Daniel laughed and raised his head to look into Jack's face. "You're such a fucking marshmallow. I love that about you. And I also love that it only comes out when you're with me."
"So, now who's the romantic?"
"Sue me. Wanna share a shower?"
They spent most of the day chilling out, taking a walk through the woods and pottering around the house, Jack trying to make Daniel forget what was going to happen. Even though timing hadn't actually been mentioned, they both knew that today would be the day. Jack was affectionate and playful and it was a joy for him to see the constant small smile on the face of his lover.
This past week had been a revelation for them both, a sea-change in their relationship. Jack knew that Daniel trusted him as far as any person can trust another and it gave him a great deal of pride and satisfaction that he had managed to not only break down Daniel's sturdy walls, but crush them into dust. He was looking forward to being able to let go in the same way, and felt a little envious of the way he knew Daniel would be feeling right now.
Daniel spent long moments during their relaxed day just watching Jack read or watch TV, wondering exactly what he'd done to get this lucky. The sap factor was about to reach the roof when Jack went into the bathroom and returned with what Daniel recognised as an enema kit. His stomach lurched when he saw it and Jack must have noticed the look of trepidation in his eyes.
"Have you used one of these before?" Jack asked quietly.
Daniel nodded. "Couple of times. It's been a while, but I remember."
"You're still sure about this?"
"Completely sure," Daniel replied in as strong a voice as he could muster.
Jack frowned slightly. "Okay, off y'go. I'll get everything else set up."
Daniel took the kit and disappeared into the bathroom.
Jack went to his leather case and took out a large tub of Crisco, and some latex gloves, which he checked for splits and then he placed the tub above the fireplace to allow it to soften. He took out a couple of candles, which he took into the bedroom and placed on shelves at opposite ends of the room and then put a CD of Chinese music in the player; something he knew that Daniel enjoyed and that they both found relaxing, and turned it on, allowing the music to flow gently around the room.
He knew that Daniel would be a while, and took his time preparing. After a couple of minutes any residual tension disappeared and he immersed himself in the ritual. He'd fisted a few men in the past where there was no emotional involvement, but this was different even though the preparations were very similar. Those guys had simply known he was an experienced top and Jack supposed he did get off on the power, in a way. He didn't think it was worth telling Daniel about his own experience of being fisted, not today at least, and it had been such a long time ago he was surprised it still stayed so vivid in his memory.
The irony of it was that Daniel had met the last guy before the Master that Jack had bottomed for in that way. Charlie Kawalsky had been on the first and second Abydos missions but Daniel had never known how close they'd been. Charlie and Jack had been lovers in the late Seventies, deeply in love, but only able to take their moments as and when they could. It wasn't as tender a relationship as Jack had with Daniel, but it was intense and Jack had been broken hearted after Charlie had died.
When the alternate Sam and Charlie had come through the quantum mirror, the weirdest thing for him to deal with wasn't the fact that his alter ego was dead, or that he was married to Sam, although that concept was too bizarre to think about too deeply: the amazing thing was Charlie, and knowing that in their universe Jack had left him when he fell in love with Sam. Jack couldn't imagine ever wanting to leave him. In his universe their affair had continued even after Jack had married Sara. It hadn't been a lavender marriage by any means, but Charlie fulfilled a need that Sara never could have.
They'd lost touch after Sara got pregnant, but Jack named the child Charlie in honour of the bluff New Yorker and they didn't meet again until the first mission to Abydos.
Charlie had been much more knowledgeable than Jack in the ways of gay sex and was a very adventurous lover. He'd taught Jack a great deal and had fisted him twice during their affair. Jack shivered at the recollection. He knew how Daniel was going to feel and one day, maybe not on this trip, but one day, he'd ask Daniel to do it for him too.
Jack lit the candles and spread towels out onto the bed, straightening them carefully, then went back into the den to pick up the gloves and the Crisco, placing them on the blanket box at the end of the bed. He'd heard of a new lubricant that had a small dose of local anaesthetic in it, but hadn't been able to find any before they left. Jack had thought it might be useful, this being Daniel's first time, but personally he was more comfortable with using Crisco. He knew how much to use and when and in any case was confident that he had the experience not to cause Daniel pain.
Eventually, Daniel reappeared from the bathroom, naked, his soft dick swinging gently between his thighs. Jack smiled.
Daniel nodded. "It's... it's just a little scary."
"I know. C'm'ere baby."
Jack enveloped Daniel in a close embrace and talked quietly into his ear as Daniel snuggled into him.
"You need to relax and you need your gut to settle for a half hour or so. It's gonna be okay. I'm not going to hurt you and I won't do anything you don't want me to do. You trust me?"
"Of course." Daniel squeezed him tighter.
"Good. What's your safe word?"
"'Red' to stop and 'time out' to break."
Jack kissed him softly. "Okay. Now, go lay down."
Daniel lay on his back and Jack stripped down to his boxer shorts and lay beside him, rolling Daniel into his arms. They began to kiss gently, stroking each other and making out, then Jack rolled him over onto his back again and began a trail of kisses down his body to his half-hard cock. He licked, laved and sucked, taking his sweet time and making Daniel writhe, stroking his body and working his tongue up and down from balls to tip, then up to his nipples and back again. He stopped for a second and took one of the pillows from beneath Daniel's head, urging him to raise his hips so that he could slip the pillow under them.
Jack dove back onto Daniel's cock again and began to gently tease his hole. He paused to get the lube, coating his fingers with it and returning to caress Daniel's ass again. He slid one finger inside and searched around for the prostate as he carried on sucking. He found it and grazed it a couple of times, and suddenly Daniel sucked in his breath and came, the sphincter pulsating around Jack's finger as he swallowed Daniel's come.
Jack took advantage of Daniel's relaxed state to add more lube and two more fingers, sliding them gently in and out, coaxing the muscle to open up and let him in. He curled his fingers together again and tucked his little finger inside them, using gentle but constant pressure to ease them inside.
This time Daniel didn't tense, and Jack smiled. "That's good baby, relax for me. How're you doin'?"
"Feels huge, but I'm okay," Daniel whispered, opening his eyes and returning Jack's smile.
"You're doin' great, just focus on breathing and relaxing, okay?"
"It's gonna feel like you can't take it, but you can. I know you can."
Jack withdrew the fingers and went to wash his hands. After washing he put on two pairs of gloves and knelt back on the bed again.
"Turn over for me," he said quietly, and Daniel complied, trying hard to relax his muscles as tension from his excitement began to creep up his body. The fear was beginning to take a back seat to the anticipation of actually having Jack's hand inside him; the fact that Jack was confident he could take it was all he needed to know. He was pleased with himself for taking four fingers with such relative ease, but knew that soon the width of Jack's hand would be stretching him further than he ever had been before. He twitched as he felt Jack's cool thumbs pulling and stretching the muscle around, easing inside and withdrawing; he felt two fingers slide in, then three and finally four, going deeper this time than they had previously.
There was a little burning as Jack worked on him, but no pain, just an increasing sensation of fullness and joy at fulfilling one of his longest held fantasies with the man he trusted and loved above anyone else.
After more applications of lube, Jack was inside Daniel up to the knuckles and almost ready to add his thumb. He wanted to see Daniel's face when he went the whole way and withdrew again, which made Daniel groan in disappointment.
"It's okay, just turn back over. I want to see your face. I need to know you're all right."
Daniel rolled onto his back and hitched up his legs, holding them up and open by the knees.
"You ready, Danny? I'm going in with my whole hand now. Concentrate. Relax. Breathe. And stop me if it gets too much."
"I'm ready, Jack. Just do it," he replied calmly. "You have no idea how much I need this."
Jack kissed him softly and then withdrew to cover his hand with Crisco again. He began with two fingers, then three, and then four and after sliding his hand slowly in and out, Jack tucked his thumb in with the rest of the fingers and eased inside all the way up to the knuckles, his hand forming a fist as it entered.
Daniel gasped and gripped the sheets until his own knuckles were white.
"Easy Daniel, easy. You've almost got my whole hand now. Just relax baby, relax," he crooned and turned his hand slowly so that the ridges of his knuckles rolled around the outer lip of Daniel's asshole.
"GOD! I've never... it's... FUCK! Jaaaack...." Daniel groaned and tipped his hips forward, sucking Jack's hand inside him to the wrist.
"So full. Jesus. Can't... oh Jesus..." he hissed, his head rolling from side to side on the pillow.
Jack's cock began to fill as he watched Daniel really feel him. Jack knew how full he was, knew that the feeling was indescribable, knew that the endorphins had taken away any pain and he was in another place. He held his hand still as he whispered.
"Oh yeah. That's right, baby. This is the clifftop for you, huh? This is you takin' that leap and you know I'm here. I'm right here. I won't let you fall, Daniel. Never."
Tears began to flow down from Daniel's eyes onto the pillow as Jack held still for a moment or two, and then turned his hand once more before slowly withdrawing until his hand was all the way out. He took off the gloves and began to clean Daniel up with a small towel, urging him silently to lower his legs.
Jack removed his shorts and scooted up the bed to lie beside him, wiping the moisture from his cheeks with his thumbs and then kissing Daniel's lips, which were swollen from chewing. He pulled Daniel onto his side and wrapped his hand around both their cocks, stroking steadily as he kissed Daniel's face, neck and shoulders. Daniel held him, kissing him back frantically and stroking his body, occasionally pinching one of his nipples and making him gasp.
As Daniel approached orgasm his hand dug deep into Jack's flesh and when he finally came it was incredible, heat spreading from his balls and crawling up his back, radiating through his whole being. Just seeing Daniel come so strongly sent Jack over the edge too, and their come mixed together, spurting up to Jack's chest, then boiling over his hand and dripping onto the towel beneath them.
Jack held him close through the aftershocks, stroking his back gently.
"Love you, Daniel."
"Oh, God. Love you too," Daniel gasped with a hitch in his voice. "More than you know. More than you'll ever know. Don't you ever fucking leave me."
Jack chuckled. "Not in a million years."
Jack held him for several minutes before he felt he could let go, stroking his hair and kissing him gently. He remembered how intense the experience had been for him when he'd been fisted, especially the first time, and how tender Charlie had been afterwards. Very little had been said, they'd just petted each other and stayed close, Charlie occasionally whispering words of affection, looking into his eyes and stroking his face. After being inside Daniel that way, Jack had become more convinced he wanted that feeling again for himself and decided to ask Daniel when things had calmed down. Maybe the next time they took a trip to the cabin. He needed to share that feeling and was confident he could teach Daniel how to do it.
"How're you doing, babe?" he asked softly.
Daniel smiled. "Good. I feel... I feel like I've had a fist in my ass, but apart from that I'm good. I... I had no idea it would be so intense. I'd imagined, but..."
"It's not something you can really explain."
"So... does that mean you've been fisted too?"
Jack nodded, stroking his hair. "Charlie Kawalsky."
Jack chuckled at the shocked expression on Daniel's face.
"Yeah. How 'bout that, huh? We were together for a while and he was... he was somethin' else."
"Did you love him?"
"Sure I did. With just about everything I had. Even after Sara and I got married... I just couldn't give him up, y'know? I had something with him that..."
"It's okay, Jack. I know. You get something from being with a man that you just can't find with a woman. I couldn't even describe exactly what it is, but it's more than sexual."
"Yeah. So, you slept with guys when you were with Sha're?"
Daniel nodded. "It was more accepted in their culture, as much as anything due to the lack of contraception. It wasn't healthy for the women to be continually pregnant, the infant mortality rate was high, and it made more sense for men to be with each other sometimes. For relief mostly, although there were real relationships amongst some of them. Kasuf had a regular lover and they were very close. He was the one who encouraged me to be with another man and told me that Sha're would accept it as part of the relationship. She didn't see it as me being unfaithful."
"I guess you could say I had the best of both worlds. I never fell for any of them... except maybe Skaa'ra, but even then I wasn't in love with him. I think it was just a complication of him being my brother-in-law. Before they were betrothed, all the young guys would fool around with each other and Skaa'ra was no different. He probably came to me because I was Tau'ri and I'd travelled among the gods. It was flattering, but... I couldn't stop thinking about you. Even when I was with him I'd sometimes imagine I was making love with you. I felt too guilty in the end and I finished it. He was upset, but he got over it and I didn't sleep with another man until I got back to Earth."
Jack remembered how desolate he'd felt knowing Daniel was so far away and wondering if Daniel was thinking of him too. "Jesus, Danny. What a coupla messed up..."
"Yeah, but we're together now and we're working it out, right?"
Jack kissed him gently. "Youbetcha. I'll go draw us a bath."
Daniel reluctantly let him go and rolled over onto his back. He couldn't imagine what his ass looked like right now, and frankly didn't want to know. It almost felt as if it should belong to someone else and he wondered how long it would take before it felt normal again. Still, he'd done it and it had been incredible. Being possessed by Jack these past few days had been better than his wildest fantasy and this had been the pinnacle. He couldn't ever imagine anyone but Jack making him feel this way and began to feel a little teary again as he realised how much he loved the guy.
As he listened to the water running into the tub in the bathroom, his thoughts turned to what Jack might need. He'd already said he wanted to be beaten and if Daniel was honest with himself he still wasn't sure how he'd feel about doing it. He just hoped that Jack wouldn't want too much; he wasn't sure he'd have the strength to beat Jack until he bled. As for topping Jack, Daniel knew that he had a streak of the dom inside him and shivered with excitement at the thought of Jack wearing the same restraints he'd worn over the past few days.
By the end of their trip, their relationship would be on a different footing, it would have changed irrevocably, but only for the good.
Jack smiled smugly as the bath filled. It had been a first time for him, too. The other men he'd fisted had been virtual strangers and had come to him because he had a reputation for knowing what he was doing. This was vastly different. He'd felt such a rush of love for Daniel, knowing that he was taking him further than he'd ever been with anyone before, his heart was fit to burst. The sense of possession was overwhelming, the knowledge that Daniel trusted him to that degree, humbling and he still wasn't sure he deserved it.
He walked back into the bedroom and was taken aback by what he saw. Daniel was lying back with his eyes closed and such an expression of serenity on his face it took Jack's breath away.
"Bath's ready, babe."
They sat in the soothing water, with Jack leaning back opposite the faucets and Daniel reclining between his legs, sighing contentedly.
"I'm going to be as sore as all hell tomorrow," Daniel smiled. "But ask me if I care."
"Was it what you wanted?" Jack asked quietly as he washed Daniel's hair.
"More than I could have imagined. Can't tell you how grateful I am."
"Well," Jack continued as he massaged the shampoo into Daniel's scalp, " you can return the favour sometime... if you want to."
Daniel closed his eyes and leaned back into Jack's embrace.
"If I want to? Of course I want to. I want you to feel that... that..."
"Yeah," Jack answered, kissing his shoulder.
For the next couple of days they were inordinately affectionate with one another, the enormity of the emotional connection that had been forged between them affecting them both very deeply. Daniel didn't think he'd seen Jack be quite this sappy before and in normal circumstances it would have made him slightly uncomfortable, but for some reason it felt absolutely right.
Nothing sexual had transpired since the fisting, and Daniel thought it could be for his benefit. He'd been right, he was still sore, but the feel-good factor was also still very much in evidence, so he didn't mind a bit. He looked over at Jack, who was watching a nature programme and his cock began to twitch. Jack often looked at his sexiest in repose, his long legs were stretched out in front of him and the flannel shirt he wore was undone just enough to see a small thatch of greying chest hair teasingly exposed.
Daniel decided that it was his turn to top and an evil smile spread across his lips.
Jack turned to look at him and then swallowed.
Daniel shook his head.
"Not any more. I think 'Sir' would be more appropriate in these circumstances."
Jack's hands slowly came down to his sides from where he'd been cradling his head on them while watching TV.
Jack gulped again at the tone of Daniel's voice.
He got off the couch onto his knees as quickly and gently as he could "How may I please you?"
"Go to the bedroom and get naked."
Jack hurried off and Daniel followed him, his dick getting harder by the second. Jack was shucking off his jeans by the time Daniel got there, his shirt already discarded.
"God, but you're beautiful, Jack. Do you know how much I want you?"
"No, sir," Jack replied meekly, his eyes fixed on the floor.
"Do you want me to show you?"
"Yes, sir. Please."
Seeing Jack this way had given Daniel the hard-on to end all hard-ons. It was a reaction he never expected and he massaged the aching flesh inside his pants as he walked slowly around, taking in every inch of Jack's naked form. Jack's dick was up and ruddy, a pearl of pre-come glistening at its tip.
Daniel walked to the briefcase and took out the leather belt, snapping it between his hands. Jack flinched at the sound and took in a sharp breath.
"Lean on the bed."
Jack bent and took his weight on his arms, steeling himself for the first blow.
Daniel continued to walk behind him, stroking his ass and back, then he flicked the belt gently against Jack's buttocks. Jack groaned.
"Quiet. You told me you want this, and I'm going to give it to you, but I don't want any noise. Safe word."
"Use that word and it stops. Clear?"
"I'll assume that what I'm doing pleases you unless I hear that word, and unless and until I hear that word, or 'time-out', I don't want a single sound to escape your lips. Is that understood?"
Daniel fingered the soft leather, running it through his hands as he watched Jack tense, his back muscles as taut as a bowstring. The sound of the first blow cut through the heavy silence like a sharp knife and Jack flinched at it, but made no noise.
The sense of power came over Daniel like a head-rush and he began to strike Jack more strongly with each blow. The skin of Jack's ass and thighs began to turn light pink and then red as Daniel continued to hit him and Daniel knew how the rush of histamine would be sending bolts of sensation through his balls all the way to his cock with every blow. He could see Jack's hands tightening their grip on the sheet and could only imagine how much strength it was taking to hold his tongue. Daniel suspected he would have come all over the sheet by this time if the positions were reversed.
Daniel was using all his strength with each slap of the belt and his own desire was threatening to overtake him.
"You can speak now, Jack."
An agonised howl was Daniel's answer, followed by "Fuck me! Please! Do it now!"
"Don't use that tone with me, Jack. You forget your place. I'll fuck you in my own sweet time."
Daniel made him wait, undressing slowly and fondling his balls as Jack watched.
"This is what you want, hmm? I'm so hard for you, Jack. Can you see? I want you so much, because you're mine and I'm going to do whatever I want with you. You understand that, don't you?"
Jack's face was red and sweat trickled down from his temples. "Yes. Yes, sir. Whatever pleases you."
Daniel climbed onto the bed and stroked Jack's face, whispering to him. "Oh, you please me. You please me very much. I'm going to fuck you so long and so hard you'll forget what planet we're on. I'm going to get my dick so far up your ass, that you'll be able to feel the head banging against the back of your throat and when you come... which won't be until I say so, you'll feel as if you're flying. I'm going to take you to another place, Jack. Just have a little patience."
Daniel kissed him and Jack kissed him back desperately, thrusting his tongue into Daniel's mouth and panting.
Daniel got off the bed and went to get the lube, and then he stood just to the side, sliding his slick fingers up the crack of Jack's glowing ass.
"Mine. Every single fucking inch of you. You don't belong to the Air Force, or the United States Government. You belong to me and I'm the only Commander in Chief you'll ever need."
"Yes, sir." It came out as a strangled gasp and Jack had no clue how he'd stop himself from coming, because the way he felt as he heard those words, as soon as Daniel entered him, it would all be over.
He gasped as the cool lube was spread around his hole and over his burning ass cheeks, then moaned as Daniel slid his hot, hard cock in the cleft, teasing his asshole with the head.
Jack nodded, wanting to shout, scream, beg Daniel to fuck him, needing him inside more than the air he breathed and knowing that one wrong word would cause Daniel to withdraw.
"Good!" Daniel barked and slid all the way inside him, immediately pumping hard and fast. Daniel grabbed onto Jack's shoulders and fucked him furiously, rolling his hips and angling his cock to hit Jack's prostate. Jack bit his lip and felt the metallic tang of blood on his tongue as Daniel shafted him without mercy, growling and hissing his desire, taking possession the way Jack had always hoped he would.
"Come on Jack, yell for me, shoot for me, cover that bed with your come and make me feel your ass milk me dry. Do it!" Daniel commanded.
"DAAANIEL!" Jack's desperate scream echoed through the room and his come spurted out long and thick, soaking the sheet beneath him. Daniel yelled behind him and sank his cock even deeper as he felt the head expand and the first jets of his own come fire inside Jack's grasping, twitching ass. He leaned forward onto Jack's back holding him tightly around the waist, and sucked hard into his neck, leaving an angry welt.
"Fucking mine! Never letting you go. Never!" he panted as the aftershocks continued to shudder through him. All Jack could do was hang his head and sob.
Daniel slowly withdrew and went over to the case again. He put the belt back in and took out a bottle of arnica gel, squirting some onto his hands and tenderly massaging it into Jack's reddened skin. Jack's shoulders were still moving, although his sobbing had subsided and Daniel felt it would be best to keep quiet, just for a moment or two, to allow Jack to recover with some dignity.
After generously slathering Jack's buttocks and thighs with the gel, Daniel gently urged him to stand and held him close. Jack clung on tightly and buried his head in Daniel's shoulder.
"Jesus Christ, Danny," he whispered.
"Ssh, it's okay baby, it's okay. I didn't hurt you did I?"
Jack shook his head. "It was..."
"We can talk about it later. C'mon. Let's get into bed."
Daniel held him for several minutes as they lay together, kissing his shoulder and neck softly, and caressing his back and arm until Jack appeared ready to talk to him.
"It was never that good before. Not even with the Master. I can't tell you... Jesus, I don't have the words. You figure it out."
"Over the cliff-top?" Daniel smiled.
"Yeah," Jack smiled back. "I guess you could say that."
"I'm there to catch you too, Jack. Always. Do you understand now how I feel about you?"
"Oh yeah. I got the message," Jack replied as he stroked Daniel's hair. "I don't think I've ever loved anyone like this before. It's... it's a little scary, y'know?"
"Tell me about it," Daniel chuckled quietly. "It was... it was okay for you though? I mean, it was what you wanted?"
"And then some. Jesus, Daniel. Who knew?"
"I suppose you did, otherwise you wouldn't have suggested it."
"Yeah. Smarter than I make out sometimes, huh?"
"Way smarter. Wait here and I'll get fresh sheets, then we can shower if that won't be too uncomfortable."
"Long as the water's not too hot, I should be fine. Y'know it's hard to explain the relief, y'know? It's... I could just float off this bed," he grinned.
"Don't float too far. You can help me change the bedding," Daniel grinned and got out of bed.
After they'd showered and got back into clean sheets, Daniel held him, Jack's head resting on his chest. The steady beat of Daniel's heart lulled Jack to sleep quickly and unbeknownst to Daniel, he nodded off with a small smile on his face. It took Daniel a while longer to drift off, since he was unable to stop replaying the events of the previous hour in his mind. He could honestly say he'd never seen Jack let go like that and felt a surge of pride that he could make him do it. He'd never seriously considered topping before, but the realisation that Jack knew he could do it had opened up a raft of new possibilities.
He doubted he could ever be a Master, as Jack was; they'd discussed their experiences and their feelings at length during the previous week and had probably divulged more of themselves in those few days than they had in the preceding few years. Daniel wasn't sure he really wanted to be a Master in any case. He was, for the first time in his life, in a relationship which was completely honest, and had neither the desire to sub for anyone but Jack, nor the desire to top anyone but Jack. He did wonder how the rest of the week would go; if he would be able to keep it up, afraid that he might learn to like it too much, but he trusted in the relationship as it now was.
He also wondered how it would affect them at work. They'd always had an unspoken bond between them, even before they'd actually got together. He suspected that this would be even stronger now, which might make it more difficult to keep their affair from Sam and Teal'c. He didn't know how he'd handle it if they found out. He saw Sam as an older sister and he loved her unconditionally; he saw Teal'c as an elder brother, drawing strength from him and being constantly amazed by his wisdom, his sense of honour and his serenity. The bond they shared as members of SG1 was unique to those who'd shared battle experiences and he was anxious that nothing changed that. Having a relationship with his commanding officer was not only illegal, but also unethical. However, there was no going back for them: No matter what transpired.
He kissed Jack's greying hair as he listened to his lover's even breathing. He had to be honest, if the rest of the world ceased to exist, he had just about all he needed right here.
When Jack awoke, he was alone. He stretched and then grimaced as he became fully aware of the soreness in his ass and thighs. After the grimace though, came a proud smile. He'd known that Daniel could do it and it was satisfying to know that his confidence hadn't been misplaced. He hadn't lied when he'd said it was better than being beaten by the Master. He felt so completely relaxed he could hardly believe it. To be able to let go like that with someone he loved was something he hadn't dared dream was possible and thanked whatever or whoever that Daniel was the man for the job.
He rolled gingerly onto his back and put his hands behind his head, unable to wipe the smile from his face. He had high hopes for the two of them. Long-term hopes. Maybe one of these days, when he did finally retire, he could give the Air Force the finger, grab Daniel and kiss the shit out of him. He couldn't help a small chuckle escape as he pictured the scene. Him in dress blues, Daniel in a suit and tie, in the 'gateroom after long and boring speeches from the General and himself. Daniel would come up to the podium, take him by the hand, turn Jack to face him, and then take Jack's face in his hands and try to remove his tonsils with his tongue, while the whole of the SGC watched aghast.
"Something amused you?" Daniel asked with a small smile as he brought in a tray with two steaming mugs of coffee and toasted bagels.
Jack opened his eyes and grinned. "Just thinkin'."
Daniel put down the tray on the nightstand and removed his robe, slipping beneath the comforter and sitting up against the pillows beside him.
Jack coloured slightly. "I was just thinking about when all this crap with the Goa'uld is over. For me anyway."
"Yeah. I was thinking that when I retire I want to be with you. Whadaya say?" Jack linked his fingers with Daniel's and squeezed.
"Colonel, are you proposing?" Daniel teased, chuckling.
"Hey, don't laugh at the old guy. I'm serious. This past week has been amazing. I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone else but you. Ever. I'm sorry we have to sneak around like this, but maybe one day we won't have to."
"You really are serious, aren't you?"
"As serious as I ever get. You know me. You and me... I don't know why, but it works. You can't say it doesn't."
"You're right. As much as we drive each other to distraction, it does. I don't want to be with anyone but you either."
"So, you're willing to nurse me through my senility?" Jack asked, turning to face him. "And the grouchiness and the drooling?"
"Not sure I'd notice."
"Smartass," Jack grinned.
"Guilty. And yours is no slouch either, not to mention it being tight, and tasty, and mobile, and you drive me out of my fucking mind, O'Neill. I can't believe I'm lying here as hard as nails talking about looking after you in your old age!"
Jack's eyebrows twitched as he slid a hand down between them and wrapped it around Daniel's hard cock.
"Oooh yes," Daniel moaned. "Jesus, and to think, I just came back in here expecting to eat breakfast but now... turn over. The menu just changed."
"Yes sir," Jack replied and rolled over onto his stomach. Daniel pulled down the comforter and hissed in sympathy as he saw how red Jack's ass still was.
"How is it?" he asked, feeling a little guilty. "It looks like I got a little carried away."
"Not as bad as it looks. Don't worry about it. You can put some more arnica on it and the marks'll be gone in a day or so. In the meantime..."
Daniel grinned lasciviously. "Put a pillow underneath you and relax. I plan to be down there a while."
"I will, but first, get that beautiful cock up here. I want to taste you."
Daniel moved up the bed and knelt as Jack slid down, so that he could reach Daniel's cock. Jack's tongue snaked out to lick the tip and Daniel moaned.
"Oh yeah. Morning wood," Jack grinned. "Y'can't beat it with a big stick."
He engulfed Daniel's cock whole, curling his tongue around the shaft and sucking upward to the tip, letting it fall out of his mouth again.
"I don't think I'll ever get sick of the taste of you, Daniel. I love sucking you so much..."
"Well, shut up and get... ooooooh yeah, just like that..."
Daniel rocked his hips, sliding his cock in and out of Jack's mouth, Jack's lips and tongue making slurping and smacking noises which sounded loud and a little ridiculous in the quiet of the bedroom, but neither of them cared; they were way too far gone. Jack savoured every lick, revelling in the hot, salty sweetness of his lover's flesh. He loved the way Daniel's dick scraped the roof of his mouth, adored the feel of its length sliding down his throat as he swallowed, contracting his throat muscles around it. He could have stayed there all day, but from Daniel's responses, it wouldn't be long before Jack had more than just cock sliding down his throat.
Daniel's head was thrown back and as he stroked Jack's hair he murmured, "Baby, baby..." repeatedly, in rhythm with his thrusts which were gradually becoming shorter and more rapid. Jack stopped.
"Aw Jesus!" Daniel complained.
Jack slapped his ass and grinned. "You have a breakfast appointment. Don't want you forgetting your responsibilities, Doctor." He rolled onto his stomach and pointed at his own blush pink ass.
"Right! Right. I'm sorry. How remiss of me. I was just about to come," he shrugged. "You know how it is, some hot guy is sucking your dick and all sense and reason go out of the window. I'll be there in a just a second," Daniel grinned, massaging his aching balls.
He settled himself between Jack's open thighs and just looked, sighing. "God, I love your ass. If ever there was such a thing as a beautiful asshole, I swear you've got it."
"Y'don't need flattery to get you my ass, it's yours. Now for fuck's sake do something with it, before I go insane! Jesus H, I never knew such a fuckin' tease."
This week was not playing out in quite the same way as the previous one. Daniel had a sense that although Jack wanted to bottom, he didn't need it to be as all-encompassing as it had been for Daniel, so much of the time was spent just being together as a couple. They'd made a few forays out onto the main highway, to a gay hotel bar Jack knew there. It felt wonderful to go somewhere in public where they didn't have to be constantly aware of every touch or glance, in case it was misconstrued. They'd laughed, joked, got a little drunk and one time made love upstairs in one of the rooms. Another time they couldn't wait and had ended up outside at the back of the bar with Daniel fucking Jack hard and fast against the wall and both of them moaning their pleasure for all to hear. Daniel couldn't remember feeling so horny.
One night the weather had been warm enough for them to go outside the cabin and make love under the stars. Jack was grateful for the darkness; he still wasn't comfortable with Daniel seeing him cry.
They lay together afterwards on the comforter they'd brought outside with them, Jack snuggled into Daniel's arms, sated. This past week he had felt completely safe, for possibly the first time ever, certainly for the first time since he joined the Service. His working life had been filled with danger and responsibility, but being here with Daniel, exploring who they were and how they related to each other had made him realise what he'd been missing.
Daniel stroked Jack's hair and smiled, gazing up into the fuzzy night. He couldn't really make out the stars, but sky seemed like a huge purple blanket and took him back to other nights he'd spent outside, on Abydos, thinking of Jack, wondering if he was okay, and wondering if Jack missed him as much as he had missed Jack. It also conjured up memories of the archaeological digs of his childhood where the acrid smell of log fires and the sweet scent of spices had hung over the camps where he stayed with his parents.
Daniel had come to know Jack better since they'd been at the cabin than he ever had before, and he'd thought he knew the man better than anyone. He probably did, but there were so many well and long hidden recesses in Jack's complicated psyche that Daniel wondered if he'd ever know Jack completely. Topping had been a powerful experience for Daniel and one he'd never explored before. To have a man of Jack's strength and intelligence submit to him was so humbling, it almost overwhelmed him.
There was one more thing he wanted Jack to do, but Daniel wasn't sure his lover would be willing or able to go that far. Daniel wanted to see if Jack would allow him to chain him. Jack making love to him while he'd been chained to the bed had been a profound experience and one he wanted Jack to share.
"You awake?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah. Just," Jack replied.
"We should go in, it's going to start getting cold."
Jack nodded against his chest, kissed him and stood up, offering his hand to Daniel. Jack helped him up, and then picked up the comforter, shaking off the grass and throwing it onto his shoulder. Daniel slipped his hand inside Jack's free one and their fingers linked as they walked slowly back up to the cabin. As they walked, Jack loosed Daniel's hand and put his arm around his lover's shoulders. Daniel slid his arm around Jack's waist and pulled him in close, setting Jack a little off-balance. Jack chuckled.
"Never letting you go, Jack. I told you that and I meant it," Daniel smiled, although the look in his eyes as he said it made Jack realise how serious he was. That kind of possession was a little frightening, but comforting at the same time. Jack was with the person he was destined to be with and how they manifested that destiny was their call and theirs alone.
They entered the house, and Jack took the comforter back into the bedroom while Daniel stayed in the kitchen to make coffee. Jack walked back in and looked at Daniel, who had a sombre look on his face.
"Do you remember when you said you'd be asking a lot of me out here?"
"I want to ask the same of you."
Jack took the mug of coffee Daniel was offering and sat down at the table.
"I... I'm not sure if it's going to be best for me to just spring it on you, or if we should negotiate," Daniel began quietly, then smiled. "I'm not really used to this."
Jack cradled his mug and looked thoughtful. "If it's something that you think I'm going to freak about, we should talk first. I trust you, but I don't want to be unpleasantly surprised by what you have in mind. So, spit it out. What're you thinking?"
"I... I want you to wear the restraints you had me wear last week."
An echo of fear ghosted across Jack's eyes for a fraction of a second, and then it was gone.
"I think I can do that," he replied, taking a mouthful of coffee.
"And I want to chain you to the bed," Daniel looked at him, trying to gauge his reaction. Jack remained impassive, a veil dropping over his eyes.
"I don't think I can do that, Daniel."
Daniel sat opposite him and leaned forward. "I understand that, but hear me out. When I was chained, it was... incredible. It felt so..."
Jack smiled. "Yeah, I think I know."
"I want to make you feel that way."
"I don't think chaining me up would have that effect. Don't forget I'm a Master. I'm not used to subbing for anyone, and being chained up or tied up... It's kind of a no-go area for me, Danny. It makes my skin crawl just thinkin' about it. I go right back to Iraq and being chained to my bed for hours at a time, or chained to a wall while they..." Jack closed his eyes, unable to continue.
Daniel got up and then knelt down beside him. "This vacation is about letting go, Jack. Going to the edge and taking the leap over. You took me there and stayed with me. Trust me. Let me take you there too."
Jack traced around the rim of his cup with the pad of his finger, spreading the moisture around and making the cup edge shine. Daniel was right; he had gone further than he ever had before. He'd taken that leap and trusted Jack to be there. It hadn't been easy, but he'd done it. Didn't Jack owe him the same trust?
"I... I don't know, babe."
Daniel took his hand and kissed it. "Okay. You know I won't make you do anything you don't want to. What time is it now?"
Jack looked at the clock. "1:15."
"Let's go to bed, hmm? How about if we start the scene in the morning, and you can wear the restraints? Just wear them and see how they feel. You'll have your safe word or we can time out and talk about it if it begins to freak you out, but I want to do this. I need you to feel owned by me in the same way that I'm owned by you. The restraints played a big part in me really feeling that possession. Will you try?"
Jack nodded and smiled, but behind the smile he was afraid. Afraid that he wasn't strong enough to go there, afraid that he'd freak out, afraid of disappointing Daniel and letting himself down in the process.
As they walked hand in hand back to the bedroom Jack pondered silently. He had honestly thought that being beaten by someone who wasn't the Master would be his cliff top and at the time that's how it had felt; like being thrown off a cliff and being caught in Daniel's arms before he came to harm. Now? Now he knew. That wasn't it. It was close, but no cigar. Daniel, as usual, had homed in on the heart of the matter. Jack's fear of being restrained. If they were truly going to take this relationship to the edge, Jack had to face that fear, and conquer it, with Daniel's help and his love.
They got into bed silently, but before Daniel could roll over to settle down to sleep, Jack pulled him close.
"I need you, Danny," Jack whispered urgently. "I need to feel you."
Daniel kissed him and was surprised by the ferocity with which Jack kissed him back. They wrestled and rolled around the bed, until finally Daniel pinned Jack down, holding him by his wrists.
"This it? This what you want, Jack?" Daniel asked, harshly.
"Fuck me. I need you, Danny. Please!" Jack begged.
Daniel looked at the tense expression on Jack's face, and saw fear and desire, trust and trepidation. He needed Daniel to show him it would be all right, and he did. Their lovemaking was stormy; passionate almost to the point of violence, and when it was over they both felt physically and emotionally drained.
Jack cleaned himself up quickly and rolled over onto his side, Daniel spooning up behind him and kissing his shoulder.
"It'll be all right baby, I promise. I won't let you down."
Jack squeezed his hand. He knew that Daniel wouldn't fail him. He still wasn't sure if he'd fail Daniel.
Jack slept fitfully, memories and nightmares of his imprisonment punctuating his short periods of sleep. The knot of fear in his gut almost made him wake Daniel and confess that he couldn't go through with it, but each time he was about to wake his lover, he stopped. The rational side of his brain told him that Daniel would never hurt him; that it was necessary for him to overcome the fear and that Daniel was the only one who could help him through it. The other side wouldn't quit screaming.
He turned and looked at the clock. It read 06:00, which meant that Jack still had a couple of hours before Daniel awoke. He quietly slipped out of bed and went to the briefcase in the corner of the room. Sitting in the bedroom chair, he took the restraints out of the case, trying to calm his breathing and his thudding heart.
He stroked the leather, passing his fingers over every millimetre of each one, feeling the soft velvet inside and the cold metal of the buckles. He'd known that making Daniel wear them would make him feel possessed; make Daniel know that he belonged to someone utterly. He also knew that to feel that sense of possession for himself, it would be necessary for him to wear them.
As he gradually became more familiar with the texture of them, the fear began to dissipate and after about half an hour he began to feel that wearing them might not be so daunting after all. He wanted to be possessed by Daniel; owned by him body and soul. He slipped the collar around his neck, just to feel what it would be like. The velvet felt warm and strangely cosy against his skin, but he knew that the effect wouldn't be the same if Daniel didn't fit them and put them back into the case again.
He leaned back in the chair, trying to remember what the Master had taught him. 'Freedom through captivity' he'd said. 'Freedom from pain, through pain'. Well, that had worked well enough. He could remember the Master tying his arms loosely to the table before he had begun strapping his ass, back and thighs. The fear had risen like bile into his throat and it had taken a long time and plenty of patience from the Master before he had control enough not to cry out and beg the Master to release him.
He took a long, deep breath and rubbed his face with his hand. Daniel was inexperienced. He'd never topped before this trip; at least not in any meaningful way. Jack began to worry that Daniel wasn't up to the task and then dismissed it, cursing his treacherous mind.
Daniel began to stir and Jack slipped back into bed again, unwilling to answer any awkward questions. He was almost okay with the restraints themselves now, and almost comfortable about the idea of wearing them. Perhaps after a day in the restraints, Jack would be less terrified about the prospect of Daniel chaining him down. Perhaps they could do it tonight, get it over with, and then Jack wouldn't have to think about it any more.
Daniel's arm automatically stretched out to embrace him and Jack snuggled in. He needed the bodily contact and was hoping they could make love before Daniel started the scene. He knew that sometimes he was too much of a sap for his lover, but being honest Jack needed sap right now, and plenty of it. He needed Daniel to make love to him, not fuck him; he needed to hear Daniel profess his love in the way he only ever did when he was inside him; needed to feel Daniel's body possess him and surround him with warmth and affection, and he needed to hear Daniel call out his name, breathy and desperate, as he came.
"You're chilly," Daniel mumbled.
"Needed to pee. It's my age," Jack whispered back, kissing him softly.
Daniel huffed against his hair and held him closer. Jack stroked his chest, gently rubbing one nipple with his thumb and snaking out his tongue to lick the other.
"Mmmm," Daniel murmured sleepily. "S'nice."
Jack moved up and kissed him, tenderly.
"Y'know what I want?" he whispered.
"I'm getting a clue," Daniel smiled.
"I want you, baby. Long and slow. Lotsa sap."
Daniel looked at him a little quizzically. "You all right?"
"Sure, why wouldn't I be?"
"Hmm. I'm not convinced." He turned onto his side so that they were face to face. "Spill, Jack. Something's up, and I don't mean me."
Jack sighed heavily. "I want to do it, y'know? I really want to, but... I'm scared. I'm scared it'll take me back to that... place, that time in my life. And I really don't want to go back there, Danny."
Daniel stroked his face softly, able to see the fear in Jack's eyes even in the dimness of the room.
"We don't have to do it. If it's too painful or too scary we don't have to do it. I told you I'd never hurt you."
"I know. I know you wouldn't. I do trust you, and that's why I want to. I need to go that extra mile and there's no-one else I could even conceive of going there with but you. It's just... I need a little sap. Actually, that's a lie. I need a lot of sap. I want..."
Daniel put his finger to Jack's lips to silence him.
"Sssh. I know what you want. Let me give it to you, hmm? I love you. Let me take care of you."
Daniel held him close and for the next half hour made love to Jack as tenderly and sweetly as he knew how, putting all of his love for the man into every caress, every kiss and every stroke. At the end, there were tears pricking at both their eyes.
"Christ, Danny," Jack whispered in the darkness.
"I know, baby, I know," Daniel replied, kissing the tears away. "You spend all of your life trying to keep me safe. It's my turn to do the same for you."
"Go to sleep now. We'll start later on."
Jack snuggled into the safety of Daniel's embrace and sank into a deep and restful sleep.
Daniel woke up first for a change, and looked at Jack still blissfully sleeping. He was a little concerned that this might be going too far for Jack, but was equally convinced that it was the right thing to do. Despite his relative inexperience, he needed Jack to feel his possession and to breach that last barrier. He looked in the case, and took out the leather restraints, ready to put them on Jack when he awoke, and noticed some silk rope in there too. Perhaps that was the way forward: a compromise. Daniel would still be able to tie Jack to the bed, but they wouldn't need the chains. He assumed that Jack knew about knots, otherwise he wouldn't have brought the rope. As it happened, Daniel knew a fair few himself, they were always useful on archaeological digs. Maybe by using the rope and a quick release knot, they could devise a scene where Jack was comfortable enough to be tied, which was the point after all.
Jack began to stir, and Daniel felt the rush as he realised they would be going straight into the scene.
Jack opened his eyes, trying to focus on Daniel who was standing at the end of the bed, the collar in his hand.
"Are you ready?"
Jack nodded, swallowing hard. "Yes, sir."
"Come here, then."
He slid out of bed and walked stiffly over to where Daniel was standing. Daniel reached up and stroked his face.
"Do you remember what you said to me?"
"I'm going to ask you the same questions. Do you trust me with your body?"
"Yes," Jack replied, shaking.
"Do you trust me with your life?"
"Do you trust me with your soul?"
"Yes, sir. With my body, my life and my soul. I am yours to do with as you see fit."
Daniel smiled. "Yes. You are. Everything you are is mine and I'm going to take good care of you. Now, go and get me the other restraints."
When Jack returned, Daniel reached around and fastened the collar loosely around Jack's neck, kissing his shoulder and feeling him tremble.
"You can do this, Jack. Just trust me."
Jack nodded sharply and Daniel bent to fix the ankle restraints, then the wrist restraints. By the time he had finished, Jack was panting.
"Good. That's good, baby. You're doing fine. Just one more thing."
Daniel reached into the bag and took out an adjustable cock ring, then slipped it around Jack's balls and dick.
"Now go and fix me breakfast."
"Yes, sir," Jack bowed and left the room.
As he went about the business of fixing coffee and cooking eggs and bacon for Daniel's breakfast, the initial surge of panic began to subside and although Jack could obviously still feel the restraints, he didn't feel encumbered by them. He gradually began to see them for what they were; a brand. Daniel had put his brand on Jack in a tangible way. He couldn't do anything, go anywhere, move his head without knowing that he belonged to Daniel and he smiled. He finally understood. It was one thing to know that wearing the restraints gave the bottom the feeling of being possessed, it was quite another to actually feel it for himself, and for the first time since this had been mooted, Jack felt like he could go through with it, all the way.
"Where's my coffee!" Daniel yelled from the living room.
"Coming, sir!" Jack shouted back and hurried in. His breath caught when he saw Daniel reclining on the couch, his cotton pyjama trousers open at the fly and his hard cock sticking out of the hole. He was looking at Jack with mild amusement and stroking it gently.
"Put it down. While it's cooling, I have another little task for you. Get over here and suck my dick."
Jack got hard almost immediately, seeing Daniel looking so damned sexy and hurried over to the couch where he got onto his knees.
"Get to it."
Jack moaned and swirled his tongue around Daniel's mushroomed cockhead. Daniel grabbed his head and shoved it down.
"I said suck it, didn't I? I want to feel the back of your throat. Come on."
Jack gagged slightly, but recovered quickly and sucked with all his skill, deep throating and curling his tongue around the shaft.
Daniel leaned back on the couch and groaned. "Ah yeah. You always did give good head, O'Neill. Suck it... Oooh, that's it..." he suddenly grabbed Jack's head by the hair and pulled him off his aching cock.
Jack's face was flushed and he was panting. Daniel grinned evilly at him, sending a flutter of fear through Jack's stomach.
"You understand, don't you? I mean you really understand."
Jack bent on all fours, facing the fireplace and felt Daniel's hand on his ass.
"You know," Daniel crooned as he stroked Jack's ass cheeks, "When you said you wanted to switch, I wasn't sure I'd get off on being a top, but..." he slapped Jack's ass hard, making the older man jerk forward. "Knowing I fucking own you is a bigger turn on than I ever would have believed." He slapped Jack again, first one buttock, then the other, repeatedly until Jack's ass glowed.
Daniel chuckled. "I so own this ass and you know I own it now, don't you Jack?"
"Yes, sir." Jack's head was bowed and his cock was preparing to explode with absolutely no contact from his hands. Jack gritted his teeth and tried to hang on.
"I'm going to fuck this ass. And when I say you can, you're going to shoot your come all over the floor and you're not going to touch yourself once. If you do, I'll be out of you so fast your fucking head will spin, and I'll jerk off while you watch, then come all over your face and you won't be allowed to so much as lick your lips. We clear on this Jack?"
Jack groaned, "Yes, sir. Fuck me, sir. Please. I'll be good."
"I know you will. First though, I'm going to taste some of this beautiful ass that I own and you're going to keep quiet." Daniel chuckled. "I know how hard that's going to be for you, Jack. You're a moaner." He dipped between the cheeks of Jack's ass and licked from Jack's balls all the way up to the base of his back. Jack bit his lip to stop the groan threatening to escape.
"Usually I love to hear it, but right now I need to know that you can do exactly as you're told. I'll make it worth it, don't you worry. Mmmm, beautiful..." Daniel licked, and sucked, working the pucker expertly until it twitched and winked even without Daniel touching it. The pre-come seeped out of the end of Jack's cock and dripped slowly onto the wooden floor as he gripped the edges of the rug in front of him until his knuckles turned white.
Daniel stroked his cock slowly while he watched Jack's winking hole beckoning him in. He marvelled at Jack's self control; he hadn't uttered a sound since Daniel told him not to, and Daniel had tried everything to make his usually very vocal lover break down and groan.
"You've done very well, Jack," Daniel panted. "And now it's payback time. I'm going to fuck you, babe. Long and slow, but not like last night. I'm going to drive you out of your mind and you're going to have to hold on to that sweet load that's just waiting to come out. Your balls ache, don't they?"
Jack nodded, unable to speak, his eyes tearing in frustration.
"You can hardly stand it, you want to come so badly," Daniel growled, the deep, sinister tone in his voice turning Jack on and scaring him all at once.
"And the cock ring just won't let you, will it? But, if you continue to be as good as this while I'm fucking you, I'll let you come and you'll come so fucking hard..." Daniel grunted and touched the end of his lubed cock to Jack's ass, making it twitch even more. Jack thrust back instinctively.
"Ah, ah. My pace. Not yours," Daniel admonished him. "You can wait."
Jack bit back a groan as his cock throbbed and Daniel moved away from him. He'd never been so frustrated, yet so turned on. He had to get control, so that when Daniel (hopefully) came back from drinking his coffee and finally fucked him, he wouldn't make an inappropriate sound or movement. He didn't think he could take much more. His safe word was on the tip of his tongue, but he needed to prove to himself and to Daniel that he was strong enough to do this.
Daniel had slipped into his role with frightening ease and was enjoying it way more than Jack had ever expected. There was a great deal of potential in Daniel, and Jack felt a surge of pride that he'd been the one to let it out.
After what felt like a lifetime, he felt the damp end of Daniel's cock touch his ass again, and his head dropped in relief.
"Oooh, there it is... so hot... so tight... my Jack..." Daniel murmured as his cock slipped smoothly inside Jack's ass. Every so often Daniel slapped Jack's ass cheeks as he fucked him, long, smooth strokes, then short, stabbing ones, hitting his prostate almost every time, the constant stimulation making Jack's cock and balls hurt. He needed to come, he was desperate, and he wanted to plead with Daniel to loosen the ring so that it could be over, but the pain was so exquisite he wasn't sure he wanted it to be over. He felt out of it: the only things that existed were the cock ring holding onto his come and Daniel's cock stroking and fucking like he had all the time in the world.
Just as Jack reached the edge of his endurance, Daniel leaned across his back.
"You ready, Jack?" he whispered.
Jack grunted, coherent speech or thought impossible.
"I'm almost there... almost..." Daniel panted.
Daniel released the cock ring and Jack's come jerked out of him in a long stream, pulse after pulse, accompanied by his agonised scream. Daniel jerked and writhed behind him, coming deep inside and holding Jack tightly, sinking his teeth into the back of his shoulder blade.
Eventually Daniel withdrew and kissed Jack's back where he'd bitten it.
"That was good, Jack. Damned good. Go get cleaned up, then clean the floor," Daniel said, and left Jack boneless and panting by the fire.
They didn't really speak very much for the rest of the day, save for Daniel ordering Jack around. He should have been used to that, having been in the Service for so long, but this was different. He chuckled to himself. Just about everything about the last two weeks had been different. He'd had the best sex he'd had in years, and he'd found out things about his lover that had both shocked and amazed him, but always in a good way. He felt closer to Daniel than he ever had in the years they'd known each other, and for the first time ever, it seemed, he was completely comfortable in his own skin. He owed Daniel a debt of gratitude for that if nothing else.
Daniel lounged on the couch reading for most of the day, while Jack fussed around doing laundry and catching up on household tasks. Every now and then, Daniel would watch him from behind his book and trying to work out what was different about him. His movement seemed more fluid, his face looked...younger. Some of the lines had disappeared and he appeared to have a half smile playing around his lips for the entire day. Daniel smiled to himself, feeling smug at being able to elicit this response in the man he loved so much.
He had enjoyed topping Jack on a level he had never expected. He found it a little frightening, how easily it came to him and how much it turned him on. Before, he'd always thought in terms of being a sub, and when Jack had confessed to being a Dom, it had been like all his birthdays had come at once. They'd been further this last couple of weeks in terms of their emotional and sexual exploration than they had at any other time in their relationship, and while part of Daniel couldn't help feeling a little sad that it had taken a near break-up to get them to this point, at least they were here. Jack just had a little further to go.
After dinner, Jack cleared the table and began to load up the dishwasher. Daniel watched him, an idea percolating in his mind.
"Jack. Go into the bedroom and fetch the case."
Jack immediately stopped what he was doing and brought the case. Daniel reached inside and took out the bondage ropes. He could see the flicker of fear pass over Jack's eyes and smiled, reassuringly.
"It's all right. Come over here and give me your arm."
Jack complied, even though his mind told him not to.
"I'm not going to chain you. I think that would be a step further than you're willing to take this trip, even though I know you were willing to try and I appreciate it, but I've decided to use these instead. The same rules apply, you'll still have your safe word, but I'm putting a little extra security into the scene for you."
Daniel took off the restraints and began to tie a clove hitch around Jack's wrist, with a slight variation.
"Have you seen this knot before?"
Jack nodded, his hand trembling as Daniel tied the silken rope around him.
"It's almost a clove hitch with a bight, but the way I'm tying it, you have two loose ends that you'll be able to reach. If you pull either one of those, the knot will undo, and you'll be free."
"Are you going to tie me up now, sir?" Jack asked tentatively.
Daniel smiled, trying his best to reassure his nervous, but still obedient lover. "Not just yet. I want you to become accustomed to the rope before we do anything else. Give yourself a little time, Jack. We don't need to rush this."
He tied the rope to Jack's other wrist and then dismissed him to go about the rest of his chores. Daniel then went back to his book, every few minutes glancing over to see how Jack was doing.
Jack was handling it: just. The silk ropes felt good on his skin, but the fact that they were tied to his wrists kept his mind on what they were about to do. Daniel had been strong for him so far, giving him the courage to almost feel that he could do this. All he had to do was stand on the edge of that cliff, close his eyes and jump, knowing Daniel would be there. He took deep breaths and kept up the mantra in his mind. 'Trust Daniel. Trust Daniel.' He'd come so far this week it would be stupid to fall at the last hurdle. It would be all right, Daniel would be there. He didn't need to be afraid, and when the time came, Daniel would tie him to the bed and make love to him, and he would know again the freedom he hadn't felt since he was last with the Master.
Jack finished up his work and Daniel beckoned him to join him on the couch. Jack nestled into his embrace, sliding the rope between his fingers.
"I think a little 'time-out' is in order, don't you?" Daniel asked quietly, stroking Jack's arm. Jack nodded.
"How're you doing?"
"Good. Better than I thought I would up to now. It was a smart move to use the ropes though. I wasn't happy about the whole 'chains' thing. Too many memories."
"Perhaps we'll get there one day. It doesn't all have to happen now," Daniel murmured into his hair.
Jack turned his head to look at Daniel. "You're good at this y'know? I should have realised you would be. You can be an ornery sonovabitch sometimes," he smiled.
Daniel chuckled softly. "Damned by faint praise. Thanks babe."
"You know what I mean. You've always had it in you, I... I'm just glad it's me you decided to let it out with."
"So it's been okay for you so far?"
Jack laughed. "Okay? Well, that's not exactly the word I'd use, Daniel. Amazing. Incredible. Those kinda words would fit best. What about you?"
Daniel rested his head on the back of the couch and sighed.
"Unbelievable. I... I feel so close to you now. It's like there's nothing in the way any more. Nothing held back. I've never been with someone... I've never felt like this with anyone else. In some ways I wish we never had to go back to the mountain."
"I know what you mean." Jack paused, and then said, "Result?" grinning.
Daniel laughed. "God, you always have to bring it back to sports, don't you? Yeah. Result."
Jack put his head back into the crook of Daniel's arm and relaxed while they both watched the dancing flames of the fire. It was beginning to get dark, and although it was still technically summer, the nights were a little chilly, so Jack had lit the fire as part of his post-dinner routine. The one time they'd been outside to make love had been at the end of an unusually warm and humid day.
Daniel continued to read, both of them enjoying the intimacy of being close, until the lack of light made him stop reading and he put his book down.
"It's time, Jack. Are you ready?"
Jack's stomach flipped and he swallowed. "As I'll ever be, I guess."
"Come on, then."
Daniel took his hand and led him back to the bedroom. Jack stood alone and vulnerable in the middle of the room, needing Daniel to tell him what to do next.
"Take off my clothes, then take off your own."
Jack stood close to him, unbuttoning the cotton shirt and taking in Daniel's unique aroma: pheromones and a day's worth of sweat. It was intoxicating and had an almost immediate effect on Jack's dick despite his nervousness. Daniel smiled as he noticed the tell-tale bulge in Jack's shorts.
As Jack knelt to unfasten Daniel's belt, Daniel stopped him and removed the collar. Jack looked at him, puzzled. He thought this was going to be within the scene. Daniel stroked his hair. "You'll feel more comfortable without it. I'm not taking the ankle straps off, just your collar."
Jack nodded and continued to undress him until Daniel was completely naked, then undressed himself.
"Lie down, Jack."
Jack moved to lie on his front on the bed.
"No baby, on your back. I need to see your face."
Jack rolled over and Daniel walked to the side of the bed. He picked up Jack's right arm and unfastened the rope, only to re-tie it to one of the D-rings attached to the bed frame.
He could feel Jack tense, and stroked his arm gently.
"It's the same knot," he said quietly, picking up the release strings and putting them inside Jack's palm. "You hold these, and if you can't bear it any more, pull them, then say your safe word. Okay? I'm going to do the same on the other side. You're doing so well, Jack. I'm proud of you."
Jack was breathing heavily and he could feel the adrenaline coursing around his body. He was teetering on the edge of calling it all off, but the part of him that was ridiculously in love with Daniel won the argument and he tried to calm himself.
Once Daniel had tied his other arm, Jack really did feel a surge of panic. Daniel obviously saw it in his face and climbed on top of him, enveloping him in a warm embrace.
"You're okay, Jack. I'm here. I won't let you fall," he whispered into his lover's ear and gradually Jack began to relax, tugging against the ropes gently. Jack had thought that being here in this position would take him back to his captivity in Iraq. What it was actually doing was bringing back the sense of relief and security the Master had given him in San Francisco all those years ago. He sighed. He didn't know how it would feel when Daniel was inside him, because he and the Master never had sex, but a small, growing part of him was looking forward to it.
Daniel caressed Jack's body with his lips and tongue, concentrating on all the spots he knew drove Jack insane until Jack pulled and tugged on the ropes, trying to find a way to respond, hold Daniel, touch him. Anything.
Jack moaned as he felt Daniel's lips engulf his cock and struggled more as Daniel slid his tongue up and around, licking his balls, moving back to his asshole and then up again. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to keep quiet this time and begged Daniel to do it, and do it quickly.
"Open your eyes, Jack. If you're going over the edge, you have to do it with your eyes open and I need you to know I'm here, all the way."
Jack opened his eyes, and as his gaze met Daniel's, he knew. He knew how Daniel had felt with Jack's fist in his ass. He knew he could get past this barrier and that he was safe: knew that all he had to do now was let go. And as Daniel fucked him, he did. He wrapped his legs around Daniel's waist and thrust up to meet him, revelling in the feeling of being immobile, tied securely, unable to move his arms. He cried out as Daniel stroked him to orgasm, then came himself with a triumphant yell.
Jack mumbled incoherently, sobbing as Daniel untied him, and then gathered him up into his arms.
"I did it, Danny. I fucking did it," Jack whispered. "And you never left me. You never left me..."
Daniel's tears ran down his face as he held him. "Yeah, you did it, Jack. Over the edge. With me."
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