"I don't know what you freakin' bozos want," Jack muttered to himself thru clenched teeth. The head negotiator from M7R-633 didn't look any happier with Jack than Jack did with him. Jack glanced over at Major Davis and some other political yahoo from Washington. The three of them were supposed to be hammering out a deal for trade-in weapons technology-and a military alliance against the goa'uld. What they had accomplished so far, in Jack's humble opinion, was exactly squat. A slightly panicked check in with the SGC had earned Davis some rather emphatic encouragement from Hammond. Jack had only overheard from across the room, but he believed the exact words were "I'll open the iris when you've got a treaty to show me, Major."
Jack was sure the general wasn't serious. Well, pretty sure. After all, Carter and Teal'c were here, too, and Jack didn't think Hammond would strand them. The problem was Hammond was again under a lot of pressure to produce tangible military gains. The Mullawans weren't advanced to the level of, for example, the Tollan, but they had some nifty gadgets nonetheless. Their societal structure was similar enough to Earth's that the pencil pushing Pentagon pricks had decided that this could be the real deal. Jack snorted at the thought, distracting Davis from his glassy-eyed attention to the yahoo's long winded negotiating spiel. Carlson, Jack thought. The yahoo was named Carlson. A piece of information Jack decided was neither relevant nor particularly useful. Davis' eyes narrowed slightly as he watched Jack.
"Colonel?"
"We need Daniel here," Jack whispered.
"You know why he isn't," Davis replied sotto voce. Jack sneered. More Pentagon interference. They were afraid of another Eurondan situation. Actually, so was Jack. He was afraid that, without Daniel's interference, er, differing viewpoint, they'd actually make that deal with the devil they'd so narrowly avoided before. Instead Daniel had been kept in the dark. He'd been told that, as ranking field officer, Jack was required at the negotiating table purely as a matter of Mullawan protocol. Daniel was told that SG-14 needed his help understanding the non-English speaking natives on P9C-993. Daniel had headed through the gate obliviously happy at the chance to immerse himself in an alien yet earth based language, giving Sam and Teal'c a little grin that managed to convey both commiseration and relief. And Jack was stuck in a situation he found every bit as pleasant as facing down an armed snake.
"Perhaps it would be wise to take a short break," Esha, the chief Mullawan negotiator said, catching sight of Jack's disgusted look. Jack was just about to ask Esha where he wanted the break-arm or leg?-when Davis, also noting Jack's expression, jumped in.
"I think that might be a wise idea, Esha," Davis said with rigid politeness. "Maybe a little fresh air to clear our heads." The Mullawan delegation rose as one and exited the room. Davis slumped into his chair.
"Excuse me but what was that?" Carlson asked, disconcerted by the abrupt end to the session.
"That," Jack drawled, "was the blinding flash of recognition by both sides that this little confab is going nowhere fast." Davis sighed while Carlson made an affronted sniff.
"These things take time," Carlson argued.
"We're treading water here," Jack complained. Carlson glared at Jack.
"I have to agree with the colonel," Davis said wearily. "We haven't been able to get a handle on these people and we're not going to get anywhere until we do." Carlson was about to reply when Jack's radio crackled.
"Colonel, come in please." Jack grimaced but Carter knew better than to interrupt unless it was important, so he quickly reached for his radio.
"Yeah, Carter. I copy."
"Help is on the way. Carter out." Jack looked down at his radio with a befuddled expression.
"What the hell does that mean? Carter? Carter!" he bellowed into the radio. Jack glanced over at Carlson and Davis who were wearing identical puzzled frowns. "Oh, for crying out loud," Jack muttered, wondering if he should take the ten minute hike out to the stargate, or just wait for 'help' to show up.
"What did she mean?" Carlson asked. "What is the SGC sending?" Before Jack could shrug his answer he heard voices out in the hall. The bass rumblings that had to be Teal'c and a soft tenor counterpoint that could only mean one person. Jack allowed himself a small smile as he heard footsteps in the doorway behind him. "What.?" Carlson said as he looked over.
"That," said Davis with an amused expression, "is 'help'. I don't believe you've met Dr. Jackson, have you?"
"Ah, Danny boy," Jack said as he turned to look. All speech and thought died instantly as he took in his friend's appearance. The man was wearing some sort of leather pants. No, leggings, Jack thought. You wouldn't call them pants, they were too.primitive. And tight.and.. Jack completely lost the train of thought as Daniel moved across the room to take a seat next to Jack. Jack stared as the light brown pants-leggings-clung softly as Daniel moved.
"Hey, guys," Daniel said by way of greeting. "So, what's the problem?"
"Daniel, you're out of uniform," Jack informed him politely. Way out of uniform. Aside from the pants, Daniel wasn't wearing a stitch. Although Jack would concede that the designs painted on Daniel's chest and upper arms were.interesting, he didn't think they constituted clothing per se.
"Oh, yeah. We were the guests of honor at a feast," Daniel explained quickly, idly scratching at the painted squiggly just above one nipple. And quite inadvertently causing Jack's breath to catch in his throat. Hearing the faint noise, Daniel gave Jack a questioning look.
"You couldn't take five minutes to change?" Jack asked dryly, ignoring the look.
"The general said I should leave immediately," Daniel said guilelessly.
"I don't think he meant looking like that," Jack pointed out. Although Jack wasn't entirely sure about that. Hammond had a bizarre sense of humor that emerged at the most unexpected times.
"So, what's going on?" Daniel asked, throwing Jack a strange look. Davis quickly slid over his folder containing not only their own documentation but also the official statements of the Mullawan government and Davis' own handwritten observations. Daniel quickly lost himself in the sheaf of papers. Jack and Davis waited patiently but Carlson couldn't contain his agitation.
"Excuse me, Dr. Jackson, but are you a diplomat?"
"No," Daniel responded distractedly.
"A political scientist?" Carlson persisted.
"What? Ah.no," Daniel said finally glancing over at Carlson. "I'm an archaeologist." He didn't waste time waiting for Carlson's reaction, diving right back into the folder. Jack, on the other hand, thoroughly enjoyed the gaffed fish expression on Carlson's face. Sensing a hissy fit in the offing, Davis tapped Carlson on the shoulder.
"Remember that fresh air I mentioned?" Davis asked him. "Let's go get some." Carlson was at least savvy enough to pick up on the fact that questioning the propriety of Daniel's presence wasn't going to earn him any brownie points in this room.
"Go. Respire," Jack said agreeably. "I'll watch Jackson's six." Watching Daniel's six was never a difficult job for Jack. And he'd be on his knees begging if he thought it would get him a good look at Daniel's six in those leggings again. Actually, if he were going to get on his knees he might be more inclined to get a gander of the flipside of Daniel's six. Crap. Jack groaned at what the completely innocent torture Daniel was inflicting was doing to his self control.
"Jack?" Jack quickly returned his gaze to Daniel's worried eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Fine," Jack replied quickly. "Just fine. Admittedly, things haven't been going swimmingly here. But now that you're here I'm sure it'll all work out." Daniel just shook his head. He stood up and leaned over the table to reach for Carlson's folder. Jack tried to cover another hitch in his breathing but only ended up making a sort of choking noise.
"Jack?" Daniel's concern was more insistent this time.
"Fine!" Jack yelped. He forced himself to take a deep breath. "Just a frog in my throat." Frowning slightly, Daniel nodded and leaned over to finish retrieving the folder. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a strange expression on Jack's face. As he sat down a large part of his brain was still engrossed in the Mullawan problem, which was starting to look like it was more of a problem than even Jack probably suspected. However, at the same time, a small part of his brain went 'huh'. Jack had definitely been looking at his ass. Jack had had what Daniel thought was best described as a hungry look in his eyes. Huh indeed. Daniel returned his concentration to ingesting all the information about the Mullawans and put the question of Jack on a backburner for a short time. When he'd finished, he put that part of his brain on auto-pilot, allowing his mind to assimilate and process the data in the free form manner that worked best for him. Which allowed him to turn the other part of his brain loose on his suspicions regarding his CO. This part of his brain promptly decided it needed more data.
Jack watched Daniel while the archaeologist cum diplomat's mind worked, his normal paternal indulgence somewhat disrupted by the fact that the man was wearing leather leggings that were little more than a second skin and how the hell was Jack supposed to concentrate with that in front of him? The body paint wasn't helping either. Jack found himself having to constantly yank his mind out of a gutter lined with images of licking Daniel's chest clean before peeling the form fitting pants off of him. Or.Jack hadn't paid real close attention to how the leggings were constructed but he wondered if it wouldn't be possible to make a sort of alteration so that Daniel keep them on while Jack buried himself in that leather clad ass. Or vice versa. At that mental image, Jack's self control gave up the battle as being completely unequal and his cock stiffened as much as it could given the restraint of his own trousers. Jack groaned just as Daniel turned his chair to face Jack. Jack quickly crossed his legs to hide his bulging crotch; he then just as quickly uncrossed them because that was a damned uncomfortable position. He grabbed his own folder and dropped it in his lap in a maneuver that was completely unsubtle but at least served the purpose.
"Fuck," Jack muttered. Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Fuck the Mullawans," Jack continued as if that made any more sense.
"Possibly," Daniel said cryptically. He stood up and slowly and deliberately stretched, rolling his head and shoulders and arching his back. The last maneuver caused the flipside of his six to be highlighted by the supple, clinging leather and nearly brought tears to Jack's eyes. He closed his eyes and groaned in desperation. He didn't see Daniel's small smile of understanding. "Jack," Daniel said softly as he knelt down in front of Jack.
"Fuck," Jack answered. He opened his eyes to find Daniel's looking right into him. As much as Jack loved Daniel's ass, he loved those eyes even more. "Daniel.ah, crap. Daniel, there's something we need to talk about. Something I probably should tell you," Jack admitted reluctantly.
"I know," Daniel assured him softly.
"No, no, I don't think you do," Jack replied. Before Jack could react, Daniel slid his hand under the folder on Jack's lap and gently grasped the bulge of Jack's cock. "Or maybe you do," Jack allowed in a strangled voice. Daniel stroked his captive prize softly before reluctantly removing his hand.
"We'll talk when we get home," Daniel promised as he retook his seat. Jack's expression brightened and Daniel smiled at the response.
"We'll talk," Jack agreed. "And then we'll.?"
"And then we'll stop talking," Daniel responded in a husky voice. Jack's cock gave an enthusiastic twitch in response.
"It's a plan," Jack said. "But.can you bring the pants?" he asked hopefully.
"I think that could be arranged," Daniel said, two spots of color blooming on his cheeks. Which Jack thought was not only adorable but surprisingly sexy as well. "When.?"
"Now works for me," said Jack, practically falling in his haste to get up. Daniel stumbled slightly, too, as he left the table, and Jack was excited and amused to see that Daniel now had an embarrassing bulge of his own to hide. And he was going to have a much tougher time than Jack trying to hide it in those form fitting leggings. Grinning like the Cheshire cat, Jack led the way to the door. "Ah, crap!" he snarled, suddenly remembering.
"What?" Daniel asked anxiously.
"What about the Mullawans?"
"Well, I obviously haven't had time for a thorough examination of their society and.." Daniel's voice trailed off as he noted the light in Jack's eyes begin to dim. Daniel's own hormones were enthusiastically encouraging him to just give it up. "Do you want the long version or the short version?"
"Short," Jack responded without hesitation.
"Fuck the Mullawans."
"Works for me," Jack said as he grabbed Daniel's hand and led him out the door.
The End