"Daniel!" Jack rushed into Daniel's office hot, dirty, and out of breath having just returned from a training mission. Daniel looked over at Jack, took in his appearance and licked his lips slowly. "Daniel?"
"Uh... what?" Daniel asked, his concentration broken.
"Tell me Carter's yanking my leg."
"Okay. Sam's yanking your leg," Daniel answered obligingly. Jack gave an exasperated sigh.
"You didn't agree to participate in this slave auction thing. Did you?"
"Oh, that. Yes, actually, I did." Daniel tore his eyes from Jack's biceps and reluctantly turned his gaze back to the text he was trying to translate. "Sounds like fun."
"Fun?" Jack said incredulously. "You're going to sell your body."
"No," Daniel said slowly. "That would be your other friend. The one who hangs out at the bar on..."
"Daniel! She's not and I didn't. And quit changing the subject," Jack said testily. "You're going to shake your bootie in front of a crowd of horny women with open checkbooks?"
"I'm going to participate in a charity function," Daniel corrected. "I'm going to wear a nice suit and do kind of a GQ thing," he continued with a confident smile. Jack stared at him, mouth agape. "And one of our nice female colleagues will buy me and I'll do some odd jobs for her. Big deal."
"They are going to eat you alive," Jack said, slapping himself in the forehead. Daniel frowned. "I mean, we never did figure out who was stealing your underwear."
"Personally, I think it was Sgt. Wilson. She had means, motive and opportunity," Jack continued.
"Wilson?" Daniel repeated numbly. "But... but I'm not missing any underwear."
"Because the laundry keeps replacing them," Jack explained irritated by Daniel's failure to grasp the point. And even more irritated by the idea of someone, other than himself, buying Daniel for lascivious purposes.
"But why would...? That's... that's..."
"That's what will be bidding on you," Jack said pointedly. Daniel struggled with the idea for a moment, determined to not let Jack's self blindness about his own motives deter Daniel's enjoyment of the event regardless of the outcome.
"Well, maybe it'll be okay," Daniel finally said. "It's not like I have a full social life at the moment." Daniel smiled inwardly at Jack's horrified expression. "And let's face it... after Hathor and the Destroyer of Worlds, how bad could even Sgt. Wilson be?"
Okay. Upon catching a glimpse of Sgt. Wilson's predatory stare Daniel had to admit that this might not have been the best idea he'd ever had.
"Slave number 13 is our own Dr. Daniel Jackson," General Hammond said. "Linguist, archaeologist..."
"Babe," Fraiser muttered at the general's side. She turned bright red when the howls of laughter and hoots of agreement broke out, realizing that the general's microphone had picked up her comment.
"Apparently so," Hammond agreed, noting the level of interest in this particular slave. "So, people, what am I bid?" Daniel fixed the smile on his face, refusing to let Jack's dire predictions scare him. Besides, if his plan was to work he needed exactly this type of response from the crowd. 'Someone buy me, please' Daniel thought, preferring that the someone be Jack. Catching sight of a scowling Colonel O'Neill, Daniel's smile became genuine. His smile became even broader when Jack finally made a bid. After 5 minutes of fast and furious bidding, and threatening glares from Jack that were not in the least subtle, Hammond banged the gavel. "Sold to Colonel O'Neill for $750." Jack made his way to the podium amidst angry mutterings from the female attendees. "Colonel, I would have thought you would be more inclined to pay to have Dr. Jackson kept away from you," Hammond chuckled with a wink to Daniel.
"Yeah, well," Jack mumbled. "This way he actually has to obey me for a whole 24 hours." Hammond chuckled again and then turned to announce the next volunteer slave.
"Daniel, what are you doing?" Jack asked as he walked up to his front door.
"I'm your slave," Daniel responded cheerfully. Jack shook his head and gestured Daniel through the door.
"I told you this isn't necessary," Jack grumbled. "I only bought you to protect you from the she wolves."
"I'm very grateful... Master," Daniel said as blandly as he could. "Allow me to express my gratitude." Jack frowned. No way was the Daniel he knew this 'grateful'. Daniel was up to something. Jack just wasn't sure what. "Can I get you a beer?" Daniel asked. Jack nodded and sat slowly in the easy chair. Daniel returned moments later with the beer. And sans jacket, shoes and socks. His shirt and tie were undone and revealing a tempting peek of sleek, muscled chest and abdomen.
"Uh.Daniel?" Jack stuttered as Daniel handed him the beer. Daniel looked down at himself.
"Oh. Well, I thought wearing a suit was a tad overdressed for the situation. It'll just get in the way while I take care of your needs," Daniel explained with apparent innocence.
"Needs?" Jack croaked as a list of 'needs' flashed through his mind before he could slam the lid on them again.
"In fact," Daniel continued as he slipped off the shirt and draped the tie around Jack's flushing neck. "It'll be positively a hindrance while I draw your bath."
"Bath?" Jack repeated, thinking to himself that he needed to get past these monosyllabic responses and at the same time wondering that he was able to muster even that much of a reply.
"You need to relax after a long hard day fighting off she-wolves," Daniel, grinning as he sauntered off toward the bathroom. If Jack were being honest with himself he'd admit that he wasn't just happy that Daniel wasn't drawing a bath for Sgt. Wilson and was in fact quite... intrigued by the possibilities of Daniel running a hot soapy bath for him. But Jack wasn't currently into self honesty, having given it up in favor of screaming denial some time ago. Jack jumped to his feet and rushed to the bathroom. Daniel looked at him with surprise. "Is something wrong?"
"No. No, it's just... I'm more of a shower kind of guy," Jack explained lamely.
"Okay," Daniel said agreeably. He pulled the plug from the drain and adjusted the water flow slightly. "The water's a perfect temperature," he informed Jack as he laid out a couple of towels. Then he stood, waiting silently. Jack cocked a questioning eyebrow at him. "I'll take care of your clothes for you," Daniel explained.
"Uh... later. You can get them later," Jack mumbled. Daniel shrugged amiably and left the room. Jack quickly shed his clothes and got in the shower. As he soaped his chest and arms he wondered at Daniel's behavior. Jack wasn't quite sure if Daniel was just being Daniel (a little clueless but essentially harmless) or if there were some ulterior motive to Daniel's actions. Deep in thought Jack didn't notice the brief draft of cool air and didn't realize he was no longer alone until two strong hands began washing his back. "Daniel!" he yelped as he whirled around, nearly slipping.
"Yes?" Daniel said as he grabbed Jack's upper arms to keep him from falling. Jack took in the sight of a wet, slippery, and completely naked Daniel Jackson. Especially the... uh... the lower mid section which seemed to be greeting Jack in its own unique way. Jack tore his eyes away and forced them back to Daniel's face just as Daniel pulled him forward and kissed him.
"Uh... what'cha doing?" Jack asked. Daniel studied Jack for a moment. He decided the embarrassed flush was outweighed by the dilated pupils and the fact that there were some decided twitches of interest down below.
"Well, I was thinking," Daniel said. He ignored Jack's 'not again' expression. "I can do exactly what the terms of the auction called for," Daniel explained. "I can be your slave for 24 hours. Or... I can be your lover for the rest of your life." Jack stared for just a moment before leaning in to devour Daniel's mouth. "I'll take that as a yes," Daniel said breathlessly as they broke apart.
"Kind of a no-brainer," Jack growled. He cringed at Daniel's sudden grin. "Don't say it," Jack warned. "Just... shut up and kiss me."
"I hear and obey, Master."
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