"He won't do it, Carter. There's no way." Jack was adamant.
"How do you know, sir, unless you ask him?"
"Huh uh, I don't need to ask. I already know the answer."
"Teal'c, do you think he'd do it?" she asked their silent third.
"I am inclined to agree with you, Major Carter. He would do it because it's a charity. Your opinion, O'Neill, is that he would not do it because he is shy. I do not believe you know him as well as you claim."
"Claim? He's a team mate and close friend. Of course I know him, and I'm telling you two, he won't do it. It's like parading naked in front of people, being ogled and bet on like a real slave. He'd get sick at the thought, no matter why the event is being held."
"How much you wanna bet, sir?"
"I thought you didn't bet, Carter?"
"Over stupid stuff, like whether I'd go through the gate, sir. This is a sure thing."
"Okay, a hundred bucks says you're wrong."
"A hundred it is," she agreed, wincing inwardly. The most she'd ever bet on anything was five dollars. But Daniel was worth it.
. .
Unbeknownst to them, Daniel was standing outside her lab door, listening to the conversation. He was fuming by the time he got back to his office. Sam could get her coffee mug back later. As well meaning as Sam was, she thought he was a sweetheart. He had his temper, sure, and he was hell without his coffee, but he was almost always nice, polite. Because of that, he was a sweetheart?
It was disgusting.
Then there was Jack. Jack thought he was a "nice" boy. A shy kitten. A meek lamb. The little darling of SG1.
Those were even more disgusting.
He growled out loud as the thoughts ran through his churning mind. At least Teal'c knew better. But he also kept his own counsel. This was one time where that would come in extremely handy. Right now, Daniel had some planning to do.
The SGC's Charity Slave Auction was in two days, being held in the Officer's club on the 1st floor. The event was a good one: The money raised would go to the orphaned children and families of the SGC.
He picked up the phone and called Janet, who was serving as the MC and Auctioneer for the event. Time to plan.
---
Two days later, Jack, Sam, and Teal'c entered the Officer's club and sat down at one of the dining tables that were serving as bidding tables. There were two bidding paddles on the table along with bidding slips.
"So, Daniel's not coming?" Jack said, gloating.
"No, sir, he said he had a headache and he went home last night. Didn't even come in to work today. Janet said he was having another migraine."
"You owe me."
"No way, sir, that was on whether he'd agree or not, and he's sick, so the bet is nullified."
"Spoil sport."
Teal'c always enjoyed their little arguments, so he just sat there and listened, the corner of his mouth just crooked in a smile.
. .
The charity had already raised $12,000 dollars and the highest bid had been $1,100. Janet had been having such a good time, introducing their "cards" and sending the victims down the catwalk that extended from the stage to the middle of the large room.
SG1, minus their archaeologist, had sat through twelve "lots," or slaves, and been entertained enough, having seen a few team leaders march up there to take their catcalls and embarrassing wolf-whistles. But they'd all been good sports, including Lt. Simmons, who'd looked like he was expecting to be roadkill.
Unfortunately, each member of the flagship team was bored silly. Without Daniel there, to either cackle at or laugh with, things weren't the same.
"After the next few, I'm getting' outta here. I don't care if the General hogties me to my desk for two weeks. I'm bored out of my skull."
"I have found this most entertaining, O'Neill."
"You would. It's rather tame, though, compared to what you've seen."
"Quite," Teal'c agreed.
"Haven't you even been tempted, sir, to 'buy' a slave?"
Jack snorted. "The only one I'd buy is Daniel, and he's not here."
Sam leered at him. "And just what would you do with Daniel, sir?"
Jack leered back and became very coy. "Well, now, that's something between him and me, Carter."
"Spoil sport…sir," and she grinned cheekily.
"I believe he would ta--" Teal'c started to say.
"Hey, there, Teal'c, how come you're not up there?" Jack said, deflecting the most embarrassing thing Teal'c could have ever done to him.
"I was not interested in becoming a slave," he says with such a serious look that he finally has to raise a brow in order to get Sam and Jack to breathe normally.
Sam squinted her eyes evilly at Jack for interrupting. "What were you gonna say before, Teal'c?"
Teal'c didn't answer and Sam glowered at Jack, who just smugly looked away, scanning the room.
"Lot 13's coming up in a minute," he said casually.
Sam decided to let it go. "Wonder who it'll be this time."
. .
Making sure his contacts were in, Daniel waited for Janet to read his card while he waited for the curtain to part.
"Okay, folks, let's get on with it. Up for auction next is lot #13," and she paused dramatically as the curtain was parted. "I give you Dr. Daniel Jackson, Archaeologist, Linguist…and babe." The collected bidders and watchers literally gasped as Daniel stepped onto the catwalk and walked slowly toward the t-sectioned end. Actually, he strutted.
He wasn't dressed to the nines, or decked out in leather, or in anything that could be considered 'formal' as the other "slaves" had worn. What he wore had exactly the effect he was looking for. He schooled his features so that his expression was bold, dangerous, very arrogant, and extremely sexy.
He was barefoot, wearing very tight pale blue jeans that emphasized his long legs and firm rounded ass. His black buttoned down shirt had the sleeves rolled to the elbow, and the front hung open, revealing the tight abdomen muscles and lightly tanned bare chest. One could just see the fine light hairs below his exposed navel. Sunglasses were propped on his head and he took them off in order to slowly comb his fingers through his soft hair as he turned to walk the t-section and then back down the main walkway. He stared into the crowd, baiting without purposely seeing, and began to remove his shirt as he made his second walk back down toward the end of the catwalk. Letting his shirt slide from his shoulders, then down his arms, a deft forefinger plucked it by the collar and tossed it over his shoulder.
He heard, but didn't hear, the voice of Janet as she was suddenly busy with a bidding war. As he reached the end of the t-section for the second time, he turned around to look behind him.
He knew where they were the whole time, and he grinned at them, letting them know they'd been had.
. .
"That rat bastard," Jack growled, losing most of the blood in his body to the only organ left that was working properly. He tugged his opened Class A jacket over to hide what evidence might be seen.
Sam was in shock for a little while, staring at her scrumptious team mate, then as she watched the flushed color rise in Jack's cheeks, her grin became positively predatory. Teal'c was actually grinning, too. He'd never been more proud of Daniel that at that moment. When it came to putting one over on Jack O'Neill, Daniel was now king.
"So, sir, you said you'd bet on him," Sam reminded him with a smirk.
Jack twisted his mouth. "Yep." He wrote on the pad left on each table for the bidders to make private offers. He called a waiter over and handed him the note to give to Janet.
"A private bid, sir?" Sam asked after the waiter left.
"He's mine, and he's sooo dead."
. .
"The bid is at $1,250. Do I get a $1,275?" Janet called out as she was handed the bidding note. She opened it and her jaw dropped. "I have a private bid here for….$3,000. Is anyone willing to top that?"
The crowd hushed immediately. Daniel turned to Janet with a surprise look as he strolled back to the beginning of the ramp. No one else bid and a quiet collective groan issued forth.
"Lot #13 has a bid of $3,000. Going once…..going twice……sold…for $3,000….to…..Colonel Jack O'Neill."
Janet looked over at Daniel, who merely winked at her conspiratorially. She owed him fifty bucks. Damn.
The waiter made his way back over to Jack with a black leather booklet. Jack handed the man his credit card and bidding slip. Jack had a very, very smug look on his face as Daniel turned to look at him from across the room.
Sam smirked at Jack. Teal'c inclined his head. They were both thinking the same thing, but Teal'c said it aloud.
"I believe you are the one who has been bought, O'Neill."
"Took you long enough….sir."
They grinned at each other, raised their noses in the air and stood, waiting for Daniel to be escorted to their table.
Jack looked at his team mates with a confused expression.
"What the hell are you two going on about? I just shelled out three grand for that pain-in-the-ass."
Sam couldn't help it and she started to laugh.
Daniel was brought over, and given a hug by both Sam and Teal'c. Teal'c then turned to speak to Jack.
"I believe it is you who will have a pain-in-the-ass."
The only thought running through Jack's mind was, "Crap," as he stared surreptitiously into Daniel's face.
With his bright blue eyes darkening, Daniel grinned like the wolf he really
was.
Finis