~ part six ~
~ worries ~
After completing five translations between two hectic missions, Daniel was tired. SG1 was getting a much-deserved break, but they needed more than the allotted three-day rest. He went out to grab his mail, but when he came back in, he didn't open it. He dropped it on the coffee table, then lay down on his sofa, thinking.
Daniel had a couple of other problems. Well, more worries than problems.
One was with his friends - lovers. He wondered which they were now and he should have asked Jason last week but he forgot. He'd been thinking about him, and Jack and Paul, as usual, but all thoughts were sexual now. He wasn't thinking of them as just his best friends anymore and he figured it would take him time to become comfortable with the change in their relationship. In the mean time, it bothered him that he kept thinking of them only in sexual terms. Why? They were still his best friends, so...why?
For purely physical reasons, it wasn't exactly hard to see why he thought of them. They were gorgeous men. They'd made him feel better than he had in years and that feeling was one he'd missed and now craved. But...what did that now do to his friendship with them? Was it still a 'friendship', even with the sex?
The point seemed somewhat stalled at the moment since he hadn't had all that much sex with them, except with Jason and Paul, and Paul was back in DC and Daniel hadn't seen him for almost three weeks now, and though he'd had his talk with Jason, he still felt weird about referring to him as his best friend and lover. He wasn't just one or the other; Daniel knew Jason was both. But how did Jason feel? And what about Jack?
Jack was still keeping his distance, though he was acting better, being his friend.
And that led Daniel to his next problem...worry.
Jack.
He needed to have his talk with Jack about his avoidance of him, just as he had with Jason. He hadn't had the chance, and frankly, he didn't want to make things worse because of how Jack tended to react to personal confrontations. Daniel wanted Jack to fix his command issue and come to terms with it on his own, but...it wasn't getting fixed. Jack needed a push. Jason had told him that he'd speak to Jack and Daniel hoped he did because the tension between them offworld was causing arguments.
Daniel's next problem was simple sex. Relieving the need. Daniel had never much liked the idea of 'buddy fucks' but he understood the need, and its function as simple relief from stress. It simply wasn't him. Or was it?
Daniel was ashamed to admit it that he was entertaining the idea. He'd begun to think about looking up the few men who'd hit on him recently. Like the one young man from the SGC Supply. He felt there was...a sleaziness about it. Part of him liked the idea, part of him detested it. His infrequent sex with his best friends was beginning to make him look elsewhere. He was just like any other human male. He wanted to act on his need, and the feeling was also just as human. Lust. This was the one aspect of his sexuality he thought he had under control but found that he didn't. Damn those stupid dreams, anyway.
That damned phrase popped back into his head, too. Fuck Buddy. Daniel felt that the definition of a fuck buddy was was 'hi how are you, suck me, fuck me, have a nice day.' At least, that was his understanding of the phrase. Even with the loving, caring aspect of their...relations...he hoped that his friends never saw him that way, and he thought that maybe he should bring it up. He didn't like the idea, but he needed to put that worry to rest.
He knew Jack wouldn't like to talk about it, but since he needed to talk to him anyway, he may as well broach that subject, too. Daniel didn't want to start an argument, as it was likely to do, so he'd wait and see if Jack brought it up first. If he didn't, damn the waiting. He was always waiting, it seemed, and he wasn't going to wait anymore. He lay staring at the back of the couch, not seeing it, and absently began to bite at his thumbnail. He didn't break the nail, he just bit at it, as if he weren't focused on that, either.
A knock came on the door then and Daniel had no will to get up and answer. "Come!" he shouted, shaking his head at the word's alternate meaning. At least he didn't say 'I'm coming!' At the same time, he knew that if the person on the other side of the door was Jack, he'd receive...
The door opened and Jack's eyes travelled across the room. "Daniel, how many times have I told you about locking this door, even while home?"
...a lecture.
"Hi, Jack," he said, still not bothering to get up. "Beer's in the fridge." He went back to biting his nail and staring at the back of the sofa.
Jack closed the door, then locked it. He frowned at Daniel's manner, his mood, and made his way to the kitchen. Daniel hoped Jack was there to see him as his best friend, but had a feeling he wasn't. He figured Jack was here to check up on 'his teammate', doing his CO thing. He sighed. Once again, relegated to the unemotional position of teammate. Which was incongruous with the reason for checking on teammates, wasn't it? That denoted caring, but you weren't supposed to care, were you? The hypocrisy pissed Daniel off and he had to push the anger away in order to think this thing through to some sort of logical outcome. He sighed deeply at such a daunting task.
Jack walked in, waited for Daniel to move his feet and when he didn't, he picked them up and sat down, placing Daniel's feet next to him. He took a sip from his beer.
"Here to check up on your teammate, Jack?"
"Uh, yeah. How're you doing?"
Daniel sighed. "As far as the mission is concerned, I'm fine, Jack."
"Then what's bothering you?"
Daniel turned his eyes to Jack, noticing the look of concern. A little hope flickered inside, letting him think he could talk about this deep worry of his, but...his insecurity and resentment at being unable to talk to Jack about it flared and won. He shook his head at Jack, then pulled himself up to a sitting position, with his knees to his chest.
"Just emotional shit you don't like to talk about."
Jack took a longer look at Daniel and saw that his friend was deeply bothered about something. If it had to do with emotions, then it was undoubtedly the sex issue catching up with him. He knew Daniel wasn't like other men, or even other gay men. He was a uniquely passionate individual who held himself to a strict discipline that he was finding himself only recently losing control of.
"I'll find out one way or the other, Daniel. What's goin' on?"
Daniel rolled his eyes at him; something which Jack hated. "Jack, you always change the subject or tell me you won't talk about it so if I begin and then get cut off, I'm going to get pissed and I don't want that."
"Daniel...just tell me."
"Are you pissed off at me?" Daniel blurted out.
Jack frowned. "No."
"Then why haven't you talked to me, visited with me, even as my best friend? Like you used to do, remember? When you'd come by to take me out for a steak sandwich at that Philly stand downtown? Why the distancing? Simply because of what happened between us offworld a month ago?"
Jack took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about that."
"Sorry that you touched me?"
"Yes."
Daniel did get angry then. "Shit." A lot of resentments came to the forefront of his mind and he didn't want them to. He only wanted to focus on the here and now.
"So your answer is to alienate me, is that right?"
"Daniel..."
"IS IT?"
"What do you want?" Jack asked, his voice raising a little.
"I want..." and Daniel paused, seeing how tired Jack was, and not just physically. "I want you to let go, just as you asked me to. If you can't, you're being a hypocrite."
"I'm trying to be your CO....and it's hard."
"You're also my best friend, Jack. How'd that happen, huh?" and he sighed with obvious frustration. "If you live your life afraid to live your life, then the enemy has already won."
"It's not about the Goa'uld, Daniel."
"No, it's not," Daniel answered, challenging him.
Jack hated it when Daniel did that. He always did that. Made him change the way he looked at things. The way he looked at a teammate, for example. The way he looked at regs that were usually black and white with a little grey but were daily becoming more grey.
"Don't mess with things that can't be."
Daniel made a sound of disgusted astonishment. "You do it all the time, Jack!"
"How?"
"Me! Jason! Paul!" he announced, hating it when Jack wouldn't state the obvious. "Why haven't you approached me like you do them, told me how you feel, or shown me how you feel? If I'm nothing more than a teammate now, why'd you bother to help me at all? Did you go out and get your previous so-called teammates laid?"
Jack clenched his jaw. He did not want to have this conversation but he knew it was due.
"No, and I haven't done anything because my feelings for you threaten my ability to lead. I can't show favoritism and I'm afraid that's what will happen."
"But you already do that," Daniel replied in his low 'making a point' tone.
"I'm talking about combat, Daniel. I'm talking about when we're in it up to our necks. My feelings for you make me doubt my decisions and I can't start doing that, Danny! No matter what I feel. Everyone has to be treated equally. No favoritism. It's why married folks can't serve in combat together....under the same command."
"That's stupid."
"Maybe, but that's reality and that's the way that it is!"
"Then you need to wake up, Jack!" Daniel shouted suddenly. "You've always shown favoritism because I'm the civilian. Sam and Teal'c show it, too, for the same reason, and they're not attracted to me and they're not as close to me as you are. All of you show me favoritism no matter what. Don't you think that fills me with guilt half the time? Why I try so fucking hard to become something I'm not!" and suddenly, those past resentments poured out of him whether he liked it or not. "Don't you know why the fuck it is I bothered to learn how to shoot those fucking weapons, even before Hammond instituted that reg? Why I take those classes with Teal'c and let you and him and Jason knock me on my ass half the fucking time!"
Daniel's eyes were flashing and Jack could see he was really upset. There was more here than just the sex issue. He reached his hand out to comfort him, but stopped himself and instead turned and placed his arm over the back of the couch.
"You did it because you didn't want to be a liability."
Daniel cleared his throat and choked back his anger, swallowed his resentment. "Yes, and because I didn't want to disappoint you."
"You don't, and you're not a liability, Daniel."
"Not now. Even so, all of you still treat me like the kid."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"I don't know why, either, Jack. You, Teal'c, and Sam need to reprioritize that."
"I don't think that'll be easy, Daniel."
Daniel stared, then shook his head. "Still protecting the civilian, Jack?"
Jack's eyes narrowed, becoming defensive. "Partly."
"Well, that's not going to fly anymore. All of you have left me on the battlefield to die, Jack."
Jack scowled at him, his face showing a mask of hurt and pain. "That was...uncalled for, Daniel."
Daniel's face showed pain, but his frown neither increased or decreased. "I'm sorry for the way I said it, Jack, but it's the truth. My point is that when it comes down to the 'battle', leaving me behind shows you don't show favoritism, not when lives are on the line, and that's what's important, right? What is it that bothers you - ultimately - about showing me favoritism?"
"It's not easy to let go and feel something you're trained not to feel...or show."
Daniel shook his head. "But you show it all the time, just not....intimately. You're afraid that you'll show more than the usual favoritism if we become involved, right?"
Jack nodded, his scowl trying to lessen.
"Well, we are involved, no matter the extent of it. It seems rather lame of you to fuck Jason, who's under your command, too, and then turn around and leave me hanging after giving me...attention."
"It's different with Jason, Daniel. I'm sorry, but it is. I don't regularly go out into the field with him. He's not asked to watch my back on every mission and I'm not expected to watch his. That does, however, apply to you."
Daniel gave Jack an accusatory look, those blue eyes piercing into him, making Jack feel a keen sense of pain. "Except one thing. Despite your feelings, or refusal to share them, and your fear of having the Goa'uld get to you, through me, it won't matter when our lives are on the line. You will leave me behind because you'll have no choice, despite all the military roaring of 'we don't leave our people behind'. You have no choice when other lives are at risk. I know this, Jack. I have learned from you and I understand what that means." He took a deep sigh and Jack did as well. Neither said anything for a moment, then Daniel added, "What I don't understand is if you're willing to risk those feelings with Jason, why not me. It makes no sense," then he paused and stared at Jack, wondering if...
Had Jack come to put an end to it? To distance himself even more? Again? "If you're here because you've decided that we're no longer friends again, simply because of what happened..."
"I never said that, Daniel." Jack stared, shocked that Daniel would think he would give up their friendship again. "I never will again, either."
"But you've been acting like it. Just a teammate now and no longer your friend, not even best friend." Daniel realized that he was suddenly shaking. "You said you wouldn't pull away again, but after that intimacy off world, you are pulling away and no matter how you explain it away...that's exactly what's happening," and when Jack didn't answer, he added, "Whatever your fears, the least you can do is show me some respect and not fuck me over. Just tell me what I am to you." He didn't expect Jack to do as he asked, but he'd at least told Jack what he felt. Finally.
"Daniel, you're my friend, my best friend, and I do care. I'm just having problems dealing with this. I know I started it because I wanted to help, but for once...for this once...I didn't actually see beyond that." He took a deep breath and went on when he saw Daniel wasn't going to interrupt. "As for the rest of it, you're right. I do show you favoritism for more than just you being the civilian. But...there's one thing that you've failed to understand."
"What?"
"You can be used against me. If I let myself feel more..."
"Whoa, stop there, Jack. I do understand that part, even if I didn't say it. I can't be used against you any more than Sam and Teal'c could be. I can be tortured to death and you'd still never talk. It's your own hide that you need to worry about. Not mine."
"How do you know I'd never talk, Daniel? You're making an obviously huge assumption, aren't you?"
"Maybe. But I also know you. Unless we come across one of the more nastier System Lords, like Baal," and Daniel shuddered visibly, "I know you'll rather risk death than reveal anything. Unfortunately, that doesn't work within the realm of what you've been trained for, does it? Not with that fucking sarcophagus in the mix. Bastards could twist all of us until we're no longer who we are. That's just another reason for me to suddenly try and take everything now. If we're to die suddenly, or more to the point, die long, painful deaths, then why shouldn't we just grab it all and go for it?...within the stupid asinine rules we live under, that is," he spat, referring to the regulations again. He saw Jack sigh heavily and took an equally deep breath.
"I know you don't like talking about this, but it needs to be hashed out now. You started all this, Jack; in my office, then in our field tent. You helped me, let me feel and now all I want is to feel what I can and help you at the same time. Part of you wanted to let go and I saw that, but you resisted. Just what is it you can't deal with that made you back off? I know it has nothing to do with your command, because every argument you make is invalid. So...what is it?"
Jack looked at him for a few long seconds, then stared at his beer bottle, watching the sweat from the glass form a wet ring on the pant leg of his jeans. He had to tell Daniel, to make him understand, without telling him everything. And even if he did tell him everything, no matter what, he knew that whatever he told Daniel, whatever decision he made, Daniel would abide by it, even if he didn't like it. That only made Jack feel worse somehow.
"You know what 'sparkage' is, don't you?"
Daniel wanted to roll his eyes, but didn't. It wasn't the time to provoke Jack. "Attraction, Jack."
"Do you remember that feeling between us in the tent?"
Daniel assumed his concentrative frown. Yes, he remembered. Very well. But that intensity was because he hadn't been with anyone in a while. Because he hadn't kissed anyone in a while. Okay forget about those three women. They didn't count. But it was just the...it couldn't be because...it wasn't because it was...Jack...could it?
Daniel looked up at him and saw the knowing expression on his face. "That's what you think? Because it was us? But, you haven't even tested that theory, Jack."
"Yes, I have Daniel. I didn't need to touch you again to do it, either."
Daniel suddenly remembered that Jason had told him that Jack had been watching them, watching Jason go down on him. Voyeurism had its own electric charge. He couldn't see how that could be a proper basis for....comparison. He stared at Jack, at his lips, making Jack look at him warily. What if he just proved Jack's theory wrong right now? He wanted to kiss Jack and have Jack kiss him back. He suddenly wanted it very badly.
"Daniel...what are you thinking?"
"You haven't felt that...intensity...with anyone else?"
"Well...a little bit with Jason and Paul, but not with anyone else, no."
"The voyeurism wasn't a proper test, not the way to prove it to yourself. It has a high eroticism factor. You can't use as a basis for comparison. There is only one way to know. You have to kiss me." He gave Jack another one of his challenging expressions and Jack groaned.
"Daniel, don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Making it an experiment. Doing your scientist theory thing."
"Jack, don't be insulting."
"That's how you're sounding!"
"You're making judgments which I don't believe, so....I need to find out for myself. To see if you're right. And what if you are? So-the-fuck what!"
Jack rolled his own eyes then. "For cryin' out loud, Daniel. You know the answer to this 'theory' already. What do you feel when I simply touch you on the shoulder or the small of the back, or grab your hand to help you up?"
Daniel tried to remember what he felt and all that he could remember was a overall sense of comfort, of being warm. There might be something there but it had been a while since Jack touched him, except in the tent, and very brief touches at the club. "I get a sense of comfort, and of friendship and vague feeling of warmth. It's been a while, Jack."
Breathing a little faster, Jack suddenly leaned forward and grabbed Daniel's hand and placed it on his chest, pressing his palm flat. "Feel that?" he asked, as if proving his point. Proving it to himself, especially. It sent a huge electric current straight through his body and ending in his dick, which began to fill and stiffen.
Daniel felt the warmth under Jack's shirt, the top of his hand felt the current of heat from Jack's hand...and he felt his groin becoming very warm. He'd always attributed those feelings to being sexually drawn to Jack, nothing more. Daniel refused to believe it was more than that. "I'm sexually attracted to you and you are to me. That's not news, Jack, and it proves nothing. It doesn't say to me, "Daniel, keep away! Hazardous to your heart!"
"I'm really going to regret this," Jack grumbled to himself, and put his beer on the table. He stood up then and held out his hand. "Stand up, Daniel."
Half-smiling, Daniel stood up, thinking that no matter what Jack did, it would only prove the theory wrong. Daniel suddenly gave out a little bark of surprise as Jack nearly yanked him into his arms, then laid a deep, passionate kiss on him that had Daniel's toes curling and his knees going weak. Daniel felt himself grow hard in an instant and his hands were clutching desperately at the back of Jack's shirt. Jack's tongue was tasting him, moving around, plunging in sensuous rhythmic movements, as if he were fucking his mouth. The thought made Daniel harder and he clutched at Jack more firmly. He heard noises and realized he was moaning. He wanted Jack...he wanted Jack naked and on top of him, driving inside of him. He didn't care about anyone or anything except the feeling of being in Jack's arms, having his wonderful, exquisite tongue fucking his mouth while his dick fucked his ass. Waves of dizzy passion issued out of him then.
Holy shit! Jack was right..
He started to pull out of the kiss, moaning out a long gasp of surprise as he did so but Jack pulled him back in and began to kiss him again, in that tongue-fucking motion. Jack suddenly moaned and pulled away, leaving Daniel's lips hot, puffy, his breathing heavy, his eyes extremely dilated, his cock more than hard. Jack had the same look on his face, only a bit of smugness was added.
"You see? I have the same feelings, too, Daniel. Feelings that can distract me when we're offworld and we think it's safe in our tent. At home, I might slip up at the SGC and touch you just a little too long."
Daniel let out a slow breath and gave Jack a small, sad smile. Jack was afraid. He understood why. That part was easy to figure out. But he had to get Jack to change his mind. To realize that it was okay to love the person you...'loved'. Daniel knew they wouldn't let their personal feelings get in the way during a crisis. They might get scared, sure, if the other person were in danger, and have this urge to go rescue them before considering others, but it wouldn't happen. It was just a normal fear reaction. That was all.
Daniel put a hand to Jack's face. "'You'd better let somebody love you....before it's too late.'"
Jack frowned in surprise. "What? Daniel...since when do you wax poetic?"
"It's the last line from an Eagles' song, Jack." He let him go then, still feeling the sparkage between them as his hard-on wasn't going away anytime soon. He winced as he tried to sit down and decided that it wasn't such a good idea.
"You too, huh?" Jack said with a tiny wry smile as he made no move to sit, either.
Daniel snorted. "Well, I'd like us to take care of this..." and he gave Jack a filthy grin as images of blowing Jack's mind came to him.
"Yeah, and maybe I should just go, now that we've had a chance to talk." Jack winced as he made his way to the foyer.
"Except for one more thing, Jack," Daniel said, remembering his earlier worry.
Jack turned to him, worried and almost frustrated that he wasn't getting this across to Daniel. "Daniel..."
Daniel tilted his head, not smiling. "Not that. I have a...worry. Did you see what we did as a buddy fuck?"
"Despite the fact that we didn't...fuck?"
Daniel couldn't help it and he rolled his eyes, then nodded. "Yes, Jack, despite that."
"No, Daniel. It wasn't. Could never be, either." The very relieved look on Daniel's face told Jack that it had been a huge worry for him.
"Do you think Jason and Paul think of me that way, though?"
Jack frowned. "I don't think so," then the light dawned. "Is that what started this whole thing?"
Daniel looked very serious. "No, but I had a worry about why you were avoiding me after what had happened. I thought maybe you'd only done it as a temporary thing, and it sounded like a buddy fuck to me. I thought maybe our friendship had suddenly been sacrificed and if it had, I was - am - prepared to back off and I don't want that. Not ever."
"What do you want, Daniel?" Jack asked.
"Certainly not to be a fuck buddy, Jack."
"Nothing to worry about there, Daniel."
Daniel sighed, knowing Jack was telling him the truth. "Well, that's a relief."
Jack grabbed his coat and Daniel walked up and gently gave him a kiss.
"You want to stick around for a while?"
Jack shook his head reluctantly. "I've yet to stop by and see Carter. Plus I've got get home. I'm kind of tired. All that talk takes it out of a guy."
Daniel grinned at him. "Very funny. But if you need me, you know where to find me...okay?"
Jack grinned back. "No problem, Daniel." Jack pulled him into a hug, then he gave Daniel a brief, soft kiss and opened the door. "I'll see ya later."
"Later, Jack," he said, and leaned against the door after he'd closed it. If Jack would just work on opening himself up more, things would be better. Daniel decided right then and there that maybe he could change Jack's mind. The thought made him grin.
It was late afternoon on the last day of his downtime and Daniel was once again doing laundry. It seemed he was always doing it. But then, that was silly since it always had to be done, didn't it? Except he hadn't done it for several days and the only casual items he had left that were clean, he now wore. His light blue button-down shirt and his third pair of jeans; the ones he didn't dare go anywhere in because they had worn, frayed edges and holes over the knees. Despite the current fashion for wearing such jeans, he found it inappropriate to wear tattered jeans in public.
Standing barefoot in front of the washer, he stuffed the dirty sheets into it and smiled as he remembered the intense dream he'd had about Paul that previous night. Although he hadn't orgasmed in his sleep, he had sweat up a storm, and had woken up, panting and gasping. As a result, the sheets had that slightly tangy smell to them. He started the washer and closed the lid, then turned to the clean clothes basket he hadn't bothered to fold up from the previous wash. He pulled out the wrinkled sheets and tossed them back into the dryer to straighten out, then started folding up the towels. It didn't matter to him if they were wrinkled.
He heard a knock on the door, and that knock was different than Jack's so it couldn't have been him. Opening the door, he found Paul standing there, wearing his jeans, a crisp looking white button-down shirt, and that dark brown suede jacket he had that made him look so...good.
"Hey, stranger," he smiled, stepping aside to let Paul in. When he shut the door, he gave Paul a hug, then purposely stepped away, not kissing him, suddenly remembering his two-day-old worry. He'd told Paul in an email that he had to talk to him about something, but that he wouldn't do it over the mail. Instead, he asked Paul when the next time he was in town, if Paul wouldn't mind setting aside some time for them to talk. Paul had answered that he'd be glad to. Daniel wondered if that was why he'd stopped by.
"Hey...and where do you think you're going?" and Paul pulled Daniel, slightly resisting, back to him, giving him a warm, though dry, kiss. "What's wrong?"
Daniel blinked in surprise. "You didn't come all this way just for...." then he shook his head. "No, no, of course not."
Paul pulled at Daniel's hand, getting his attention. "I would have, if I were free to just pick up and go. Now, what's up?" he asked as he let Daniel go, then hung up his jacket.
As Daniel got Paul a dark beer from the fridge, he realized that his friend had done two things to dispel his worry about how he saw their friendship now. One, the kiss, and two, the reference to dropping everything to find out what was wrong. He smiled at him, handed him the beer, then had Paul follow him to the laundry room.
"I have some towels to fold," Daniel said, picking up the towel he'd laid down before answering the door. Paul leaned against the dryer, folded his arms, and waited. Daniel took a deep breath as he slowly folded the towel, then picked up another one. "Paul, has our friendship...I mean, is our friendship...oh hell." Daniel was very self-conscious suddenly.
Paul waited, his brow furrowing in worry.
Daniel cleared his throat. "Okay, here's the thing. We're friends. Best friends. Now we're...what? I think I'd call us lovers now, but I'm not sure if you would. At first, I was worried about that military thing, you know, fuck buddy, but judging by your continued emails, how everything seems to be going on as it did before, I don't need to worry about that. Then when you kissed me hello, then that offer to just drop everything if you only could...well...that meant a lot, Paul. It really did." He cleared his throat again and turned away slightly.
Paul's frown of worry had changed to one of surprise then to one of understanding. "Daniel, you surprise me at how you can worry over things that most of us wouldn't bother addressing. But not you." He reached out and touched Daniel's arm. "You're my one of my best friends who's also become my lover. Does that answer your question?"
Daniel gave him a broad smile. "Yes, thanks."
"Now I have one."
"What?"
"What made you think about this Daniel?"
Daniel stopped folding for a moment. He gave Paul a serious look, then softened his expression. "You know when a friendship turns into a romantic relationship?"
Paul smiled. "Yes, I've had a few relationships like that."
"Well, we've been friends for a long time and because the nature of our relationship changed, I wondered if we still were 'friends'. If our friendship was the same - if it was just as big a part as the sex would be...if the sex would be, that is. I had this conversation with Jack and I'm still left doubtful as to whether or not we'll ever be lovers. He's too hard on himself, and therefore, me."
"When did you talk to Jack?"
Daniel resumed folding the towel again and picked at the edges a little too nervously. "The day before yesterday. He came over to check on me. We'd had a rather heated argument offworld."
Paul smirked. "You two are always arguing, Daniel."
Daniel smirked back. "I know, it's just that....Jack's attracted to me and afraid of showing favoritism because of it."
Paul frowned. "Daniel, you're always shown favoritism. You're a civilian."
"Duh, Paul. I already know that. I also had to remind him of that, too."
Paul held up his hand. "Sorry. I should've said that Jack cares a lot more for you than as a simple teammate and friend."
"Paul..." Daniel said in exasperation. "I know that. What happened was that Jack....showed me something...something that's going on between us that I wasn't seeing but he was."
"That being?"
"We're extremely attracted to each other. Jack calls it 'sparkage'," and Daniel rolled his eyes. Paul smiled at him. "What?"
"I feel that from you all the time, Daniel."
Daniel laughed. "You're teasing me now."
Paul smiled and shook his head. "Not completely, but yeah. You're so easy to do that to. Don't worry about it, Daniel, but I'm sensing you're not just going to let sleeping dogs lie, are you?"
"Um, no. When we survey the planet designated for the Beta site next week, I'm going to see if I can make him...receptive."
Paul gave Daniel a wicked smile. "You turn on that seducing charm, Daniel, and he's toast. He knows that, too."
Daniel gave Paul a thoughtful stare which then turned amused. "Perhaps." Paul watched him fold the remaining towels then stepped aside as Daniel retrieved the sheets and carried them in the bedroom. Beginning with the fitted sheet, Paul didn't even ask and just automatically helped Daniel remake the bed. After putting away the towels, they went to the kitchen. Daniel poured himself a glass of iced water and drank it down, giving Paul a careful look over the rim of the glass.
"I know you're in town for a reason, but I hope you don't mind if we don't talk about work."
Paul smiled. "No, I don't mind." Paul couldn't help but stare at Daniel. He'd never seen the man look so damn sexy before.
"Paul, you look absolutely predatory. What's on your mind?"
"You just look...great, that's all."
"Oh, that's all," Daniel repeated laughing. "Well, thanks. So do you, by the way. You always look good in white," he added, his fingers tracing the open collar. Paul brought a hand up to close over Daniel's, then closed in slowly and slipped his other arm around his waist.
"Hello, Daniel," he said, locking his lips onto Daniel's for a very long, deep kiss. Daniel kissed him back, with interest, while running his hands over Paul's arms and chest, then around his neck and through his hair, fingers clamping down. Their kiss intensified, becoming harder, more passionate and soon they were both as hard as stone.
Pulling away slowly, more out of a need to breathe through their mouths than anything else, Daniel looked into Paul's darkening hazel eyes. "I really missed that."
"Me too," Paul replied quietly. Daniel then gave him a wicked grin as they still held onto each other, reluctant to let go, and Paul gave him a broad smile. "What's that grin about?"
"Those sheets that I'm washing...they were clean yesterday. Until last night, when I had another dream."
Paul's brows lifted with interest. "Really? The same as before?"
Daniel shook his head. "This one was much different and it was about....you."
Paul looked warily at him, but Daniel could tell he was excited. "I think the dream is a reaction to knowing that you'd watched Jason go down on me."
"And that made you feel...how?" Paul asked, staring into Daniel's equally darkening eyes.
"Turned on," Daniel smiled. "Are you interested in a...." and he paused.
"Whatever it is, Daniel. I'm interested." He brushed his lips over Daniel's cheek, then down the side of his jaw and to his chin. Daniel closed his eyes for a moment, letting Paul taste him with his tongue. For what he had in mind, they wouldn't be touching each other for a little while.
"How long can you stay?" he asked, becoming breathless as Paul's stiffened tongue licked under his ear.
"I have tomorrow off, so I can stay all night, if you want," Paul replied smokily.
"I want," Daniel whispered back, then opened his eyes and stepped away from Paul just a little. "Knowing that you like to watch me, how would you like to have a live replay of that dream?"
"Watching you do what, Daniel?" and Paul looked around suddenly, as if someone else was there that he missed.
"Not with anyone, Paul. Just...in front of you."
Paul's eyes went wide with excitement. "In front of...me?"
Daniel nodded and took his hand. "You interested in having a little fun?"
Paul smiled. "With you, always."
"C'mon."
Daniel led Paul to the bedroom, then after asking him to take off his shoes and socks, he had Paul stand against the wall that faced the bed. There was a distance of about ten to twelve feet. "Don't move," Daniel whispered. He opened Paul's shirt, careful not to touch his skin, though he desperately wanted to as Paul's skin was temptingly revealed. His thumbs just barely grazed over his shoulders as he slid his shirt off, and then again, over his buttocks as he removed Paul's jeans and shorts. He stood back then and unbuttoned his own shirt and slid it off, and when he removed his jeans, Paul groaned as he noticed that Daniel hadn't worn any underwear.
Standing fully nude in front of him, Daniel leaned in and barely touched Paul with his body, winding up the sexual tension between them. "Stroke yourself." He then kissed Paul, fiercely, as he covered Paul's hand with his own while Paul began to stroke. Daniel abruptly broke away and stepped back, his hand firmly stroking the hard shaft of his own cock. "Stay there, Paul. Watch me...while I watch you. No matter what, stay there, against the wall. Watch me."
"This was your dream?" Paul asked, his breathing rapid.
Daniel nodded as he crawled on the bed and lay down, his hand continuing to stroke his dick. He propped up the pillows and then reclined against them.
"Lean against the wall, Paul, and spread your legs for me." The sudden eroticism of what Daniel had them doing, along with the sound of Daniel's voice, had Paul breathing excitedly. He spread his legs wider, leaning his shoulders and upper back firmly against the wall. "Now, stroke your cock and massage your balls." As Daniel said the words, Paul slowly spread his legs and fondled himself and watched Daniel do the same. Daniel closed his eyes and began to jerk off in front of Paul, remembering his dream of doing this in front of his lover.
Paul was turned on by the kinkiness of it and a sheen of sweat quickly formed over his body. He sped up the motions of his hand while he watched Daniel caress and stroke himself and knew he could easily come just by watching him. He knew this with more certainty when Daniel began to thrust upward into his now tight fist. Daniel opened his eyes half-way and looked at Paul through his lashes.
"Yes, Paul. Stroke it."
Paul's hand tightened and his own hips mimicked Daniel's...but he was soon moving just a bit more heatedly when Daniel began to ask erotic questions.
"Do you love watching me?"
"Yes." Paul's hand tightened around his balls.
"You loved watching Jason suck me, didn't you."
"Yes." His hand stroked faster, in time with Daniel's while his eyes darted between Daniel's face and his now continually-moving hips.
"What were you doing while Jack was watching?"
"I was stroking his cock, Daniel, from behind."
At his words, Daniel let out a tiny moan and thrust his hips faster. Not knowing what had happened, he became highly excited by knowing it now. "And you liked jerking him off?"
"Oh yeah."
"And did he like you to do that for him?"
"Yes, he did. He placed his hands over mine and guided them."
"And what did you see while you did that?"
"Your cock moving in and out of Jason's mouth; your body writhing out of control as he finger-fucked you. You were fucking beautiful."
Daniel's breathing quickened, his hips thrust faster. "Where was your cock, Paul."
"Sliding between Jack's ass cheeks. He loved that; loved watching you. Loved it when you came, as I did. Loved it when he found out that you saw him fucking Jason."
"And us? You loved fucking me?"
"Yes. You felt good."
"And having me fuck you against the window that first night?" Daniel asked, his voice shaky and breathless.
"Oh yes," Paul replied, just as breathless.
"And now, Paul? You like this?"
"It's erotic as hell, Daniel," he replied, increasing the speed of his hand.
"You want to watch me come like this?" Daniel asked, his voice rising as he squeezed his dick harder, thrusting faster and faster.
"God...Yes," Paul said, his voice also rising in desperation as his fist pumped his cock rapidly.
Daniel's voice rose even higher. "Then...watch...me...come..." and his body arched in the throes of orgasm, "...Oh God!" When Paul watched Daniel's semen pearl over his hand, he came strongly over his own.
They were both hungry as hell for something sweet, and as Paul looked through Daniel's freezer, Daniel put the sheets from the washer into the dryer. Neither of them were dressed, though they were a little damp from getting cleaned up. Daniel walked into the kitchen and found Paul dipping a spoon into the pint of B & J's "Chocolate Chocolate Brownie" ice cream and taking a bite. Paul smiled at him, the spoon frozen in his mouth.
"Thith ith goohd," he said over the spoon.
"You've never had that kind?"
Paul shook his head. Daniel snorted and took Paul by the hand, but instead of going back into the bedroom, Daniel led him into the living room and laid down on the sofa, pulling Paul down on top of him. They fed each other little spoonfuls, careful not to spill any of it.
Paul suddenly took the ice cream covered spoon and pressed it against Daniel's left nipple, getting a howl in response.
"PAUL!" and Paul took away the spoon a second before Daniel could grab it, then brought his mouth down to Daniel's nipple, to lick up the thin layer of ice cream and warm his nipple back up. Daniel gasped and forgot all about the ice cream as his fingers twined through Paul's hair. He reached out and grabbed the ice cream and spoon from Paul's hands and set them on the table, then surrounded Paul with his arms and turned them over, trapping him below.
"I gotcha," he whispered, biting at Paul's lip.
"Yes, you do," Paul whispered back, meaning the phrase in more ways than the obvious.
"I have something else I need to talk to you about."
"Uh oh."
Daniel bit him playfully on the chin. "It has to do with my bondage dream," and he retrieved the ice cream, alternately feeding himself and Paul as he told him his wish to fulfill the dream, which he retold in explicit detail. "So, what do you think?"
"I'll help. I assume you told Jason, too?" When Daniel nodded, he added, "But you can't know when it'll happen, Daniel. That'll have to be part of the atmosphere. Not knowing it's coming."
Daniel nodded again, slowly, and the thought of his friends actually fulfilling this for him made him harden once more. "I want you," he whispered as he placed the spoon upside down in his mouth and ate the contents. This time, he wanted Paul inside him, but he didn't want to make love like they had before. The heat inside him was different. It felt...edgier...dirtier.
Paul smiled. "Me, too, but it's too soon."
"My dick is starting to say otherwise so maybe I can convince yours," Daniel argued with a playful laugh. "How about we play another game?" he asked, feeling a lot more of that edgy heat crawling through him as an idea came to him.
"What are you thinking?" Paul asked as he felt his dick coming to attention.
"How risky do you feel?" Daniel teased.
Paul took interest immediately. "Enough."
"C'mon," and he got up from the couch and pulled Paul into the bedroom and handed him his jeans and sneakers. "Here, put these on. No underwear." Paul gave him a doubtful look but he wanted to find out what he had in mind so he pulled on the jeans and shoes, watching Daniel do the same. "Now, would you go put your jacket on and wait in my car, please? The keys are on the phone table." Paul gave Daniel another hesitant look, but did as he asked.
Daniel grabbed the lube and applied a lot of it to the inside of his rectum, coating himself as much as he could, then washed his hands, zipped up, put on his leather jacket over his bared chest, and left the apartment. He found Paul in the front seat of the car, waiting and shivering in the dark, as it was now evening.
"It's fucking cold without a shirt, Daniel."
"I know, but we'll warm up soon." He found that Paul had stuck the keys in the ignition so he started up the car and was soon off to the place he had in mind for them. During the time he'd lived in his apartment, Daniel had noticed that there was a little section of alley behind the neighboring apartment building which was unlit and rarely checked. He pulled into the alley, then shut off the engine. Though the heater had been on for a few minutes, Paul still thought it was cold. He was, however, busy checking out where they were.
"Daniel, we're in an alley."
Daniel turned to him and smiled. "Yes...we are. We probably won't get caught but we can't exactly take our time, either. Scoot over to the middle."
After Paul moved, Daniel slid their bench seat back several inches, and without a pause, he unbuttoned his jeans and removed them while Paul stared at him in astonishment, then cast a quick 360-degree turn, looking for witnesses. His dick, on the other hand, didn't mind one bit where they were.
"Daniel...this is..." and he swallowed convulsively, becoming more excited by the second.
"Dangerous? Thrilling?" he asked and Paul nodded. Daniel smiled wickedly as he turned and unbuttoned Paul's jeans and pulled the zipper open. "Slip them off, Paul," he asked as he leaned in a gave Paul a soft bite along his jaw. Paul didn't waste time and as he pulled them off, he revealed his nicely erect cock. Daniel smiled as he assisted Paul's jeans off his legs. When Paul was free of his jeans, Daniel took his dick in his hand. "I have got to taste you first."
"First?" Paul asked with surprise but forgot about everything else for the moment as Daniel bent over and took his cock immediately into his mouth. "Daniel! Oh my God!" he whispered hoarsely as Daniel began sucking and moving his cock quickly in and out of his mouth in order to bring Paul to a high state of stimulation. It definitely worked because Paul tipped his head back and dropped his mouth open while his hands held Daniel's head. Before he could say another word, however, Daniel moved away and abruptly crawled over him and straddled his lap.
"Care for an illicit lap dance, Paul?" he asked as he cradled his head in his hands and kissed him passionately, sliding his warm tongue into Paul's mouth. Paul moaned and returned his kiss with lustful enthusiasm as his hands caressed Daniel's skin under his jacket. Daniel's hips were thrusting forward slowly, rubbing their cocks together, then Paul felt Daniel's fingers on his dick, positioning him against Daniel's sphincter muscle.
"Daniel, you'll need...oh..." and he suddenly felt the already-lubed opening. "Oh...my...GOD," he whispered. Daniel kissed him with his eyes open, watching Paul's eyes as he pushed down and forced Paul's cock slowly inside him. They both groaned in pleasure and anticipation as Daniel didn't hesitate in moving.
"Go slow," Paul warned in a hushed tone.
"Don't worry, Paul. I'm more than ready," Daniel whispered over his lips, then slipped his tongue between them as he began to move with more assurance. Continuing to stare into Paul's dilated eyes, Daniel moved with long up and down movements as their hands caressed each other under their jackets.
Daniel then guided Paul's hand to his cock. "Stroke me," he said as his breathing increased. Paul began to stroke him in time with Daniel's movements as Daniel clutched the top of the seat back and began to move in harder downstrokes. Paul's hand left his cock suddenly so he could grab his hips and slow him down a little. Daniel looked at him in confusion until Paul braced his feet on the floor and thrust upward as hard as he could.
Daniel gasped, a pleased smile on his face as he bit his lip. "Yes."
As he thrust downward, Paul did it again, thrusting upward as hard as he could, eliciting pleasured gasps from Daniel as his sweet spot was reached. Daniel suddenly sped up his thrusts, indicating that Paul do the same, then leaned back a little, grabbing the the back of the seat with one hand and the steering wheel with the other. He used them for leverage as he moved himself up and down on Paul's cock with lustful abandon.
"Paul, talk dirty; filthy; call me names," Daniel asked, his head tilted and his eyes half-lidded in pleasure.
For a second, Paul didn't know what to say that Daniel hadn't heard earlier, but as Daniel pulled the pleasure from him, the words spilled out. "Yes, ride me. You love this, don't you, giving me a lap dance like a common whore?"
"Yes," Daniel choked out as he rode Paul's cock with wilder, gyrating motions as Paul supported his back in his hands. "More."
"More? You're just a slut, aren't you?" he asked in a growl as he thrust upward savagely, meeting Daniel's downward plunges.
"Yes," Daniel gasped.
"Just my little slut, fucking me in your car."
"Yes!"
Paul was panting hard now, unbelievably turned on by what Daniel was doing to him, what he was making him say. Paul loved it. He wrapped his arms around Daniel as he lifted his hips off the seat and slammed up twice, making Daniel cry out.
"You love being fucked by me, don't you?" Paul said in a lustful, gritty voice.
"Yes, you bastard, you feel so fucking good!" Daniel gasped, then gasped again in complete surprise as Paul suddenly held him tightly and turned them both.
"Hold on," Paul ordered gruffly and swiftly put Daniel onto his back. "Legs in the air, baby! You're gonna get yourself fucked good," he ordered and Daniel panted harsh and loud in excitement, complying with Paul's unexpected command. Paul began to slam into him, hard and fast, and they both cried out as the wanton lust filled them.
Daniel's hands flew out above his head to brace himself against the door as Paul thrust ruthlessly into him. He loved this feeling of abandon; loved what Paul was doing to him. "God, Paul, fuck me!" and Daniel felt the heat climbing rapidly now and he cried out, "Yes!" as he came with exquisite intensity, his semen spilling between them. Paul's harsh, muffled voice filled Daniel's ears as he came just as hard and they held onto each other tightly as they rode out their mutual highs.
When Paul could talk, he lifted his head from Daniel's throat and kissed him. "That was fucking unbelievable. But Daniel, I think my ass is stuck to the steering wheel." Daniel laughed and tried to move.
Of course, Paul's ass wasn't stuck to the steering wheel. They found out that his foot was, which made Daniel laugh all the harder as they attempted to get Paul free and themselves dressed before someone actually came along.
"So, what do you think?" Jason asked as he opened the door to his apartment. He hadn't the chance to turn on the lights before the door was shut and he was slammed up against it, lips locking firmly over his, hands roughly caressing his body. His own hands returned the rough caresses and jackets were soon dropped to the floor, and shirts were quickly, hastily opened. His lover's mouth quickly left his and latched onto his throat as fingers searched over his bared chest, rubbing and pinching his nipples, which only served to heighten Jason's excitement.
"I think...." he gasped "...that we...should help him...don't you?" but he quickly forgot about getting any answer as his mouth was silenced by an eager tongue down his throat. He moaned with ever rising lust and clamped his hands over his lover's ass.
"Turn around," his lover growled even as he turned Jason roughly against the door. Jason moaned and desperately sought to remove his jeans and boots while this pleasurable assault continued, but he didn't get the chance as his jeans were pulled down over his hips and lube was quickly slathered over his asshole by deft, sure fingers. Jason moaned loudly, his fingernails scraping over the surface of the door as his lover pushed his cock inside him. His lover's fingers were then locked with his, pinning them to the door as the man began to rock his hips.
"Yes, yes, fuck me," Jason gasped, loving the feel of his lover's cock inside him. The man suddenly plunged his cock deep, then pumped in several short thrusts and then plunged again. Jason was panting harshly when his lover suddenly pulled out of him, shoved their pants down, then pushed him down on all fours. Jason's knees were spread wide and his lover held onto his hips firmly while he slid his cock back inside him and fucked him hard and fast.
"Oh goddamn," Jason exclaimed, the pleasure moving through him in waves as his sweet spot was rubbed again and again. When his lover thrust more ruthlessly into him, he couldn't hold back any longer. "Fuck me!" he cried out and quickly came.
"Yes!" his lover yelled as the muscles tightened around his cock and he came soon after.
Once their bodies stopped shuddering, the man pulled out of him, and Jason rolled onto his ass and kicked off his boots and jeans. "Shower," he said as his lover removed his clothes as well and followed Jason into the bathroom. As they washed, Jason kissed his partner softly. "Well?" he asked.
"I think it's a good idea, but we'll discuss it later," and he pulled Jason hard against him. "After I've been thoroughly fucked through that bed of yours. What do you say?"
Jason smiled. "Sounds like a plan to me. We can then discuss Daniel while we finish that pizza."
"Mmmmm, good idea," Jack growled, kissing Jason hungrily.